Could she love me or is it just sex?

8 Comments

There's this woman who I've known for a long time. I could say we're close friends. I'm also female.

For a couple of years we've been having a sexual/romantic relationship which could be called a friends with benefits type of situation.

I am in love with her but she has a boyfriend.
When we are together (we often have sleepovers at each other's places every two weeks or so), she tells me she cares for me and I make her feel what no one ever could. That if it wasn't for her image and career she would be with me only.

We act like a couple whenever we're together but only when no one else is around.
All of our friends think we are just best buddies.

However, she also claims she loves her boyfriend when I confront her about our relationship.

I'm not expecting much from her since I have no problem getting a date. But I wish she was my girlfriend for real. Sometimes I feel she's using me for sexual satisfaction.

I am gay and she is a closeted bisexual.

Could she be afraid to come out, leading me on or just into a fwb thing with me?

Any advice appreciated.

She's afraid to come out 0
She's leading you on 2
It's love 1
I dunno 1
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Comments ( 8 )
  • Nickvey
    6 years ago

    you are her plaything , dont feel too bad , that dude she is with is nothing to her but her ass cock. she is playing both of you for the fools you are. she will never be satisfied with your or with just the guy. I'd be just like her if i could pull it off. You made a fatal mistake of sexing with a person in a relationship, now you regret it only because you are in love when it started out as lust. its time to pull the plug and move on , she won't love you back ever.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      I agree with some of your points, but we started out as friends. I feel a sisterly love for her mixed with a crazy burning desire.

      Your dry wit made me laugh though after days of anguish.

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  • JonathanOo
    6 years ago

    You need to step back adds re evaluate the situation. If she loves someone else or is cheating on them then you should wait until she is single to really get serious with her

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      I get your point but she's straight to everyone but me and her sister, so I don't think she would be in the open with any woman...

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      • JonathanOo
        6 years ago

        Hmmmm... I'd try to be patient then. Forcing her to be with you more may cause a negative reaction. Maybe she is struggling internally with something. She's still secretive with everyone for a reason? Maybe having a boyfriend makes her feel more "normal" to everyone else. If she still sees you every week or two I'm sure she cares. I doubt you are being used. Its more likely there is a comfort zone she is currently in and doesn't want to change things up yet by being exclusive with you as a girlfriend only

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          6 years ago

          Thanks so much for your input. I am really messed up out of my love for my friend/lover. I don't know what to call us really. But I will try to be less selfish and give her time.

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          • JonathanOo
            6 years ago

            I knew someone in the same boat. She tried to force herself into the relationship more while trying to get the guy out. Then everyone turned on her because they felt she was too manipulating and bothersome. It was really all stemming from love but not everyone saw it that way. In the end it's worse losing them completely than tying to be patient for a few months

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              6 years ago

              Well, I never demanded she left him but, yeah, I'll cool off.

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