Continue the friendship?

19 Comments

I am best friends with my ex. We talk almost daily. He is in a relationship with a new girlfriend, who is his first sexual partner. He tells me whenever they are on the outs or fighting about something. He tells me of his relationship with her and I act as
a confidant. He's definitely not there for the sex, which apparently she sucks at immensely(he cannot climax with her, she pretty well makes him do all the work). He says he loves her, but at the same time he is still in love with me. I know for a fact that she hates me because he told me she has told him so. Reasoning for that is because he and I dated before and still remained friends after the breakup. Some people would classify this as emotional cheating, but to me it's more like listening and being there for my best friend. Is it normal to feel like I'm being used by him in the situation as someone to lean on? Do you classify this as cheating emotionally? He knows how I feel about him but he still comes to me for advice on the relationship. He has done alot to try and make things work, changing his usual routine almost completely for her. I've always been a firm believer of not changing your partner no matter what their faults or quirks, but embracing them and doing both things that they enjoy and you enjoy while giving them their independence at the same time. Also is it normal to want their relationship to fail so we get another chance? I need advice, big time.

No 1
Yea 9
Let their relationship fail on its own 14
He is your best friend, be there for him 15
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Comments ( 19 )
  • SoccerStud88
    12 years ago

    I stopped reading after "I am best friends with my ex."

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    • flutterhigh
      12 years ago

      I stopped reading after "I".

      ....I can't read.

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      • SoccerStud88
        12 years ago

        5 thumbs up isnt just an accident hun

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        • flutterhigh
          12 years ago

          ...what? Did you read my post? I wasn't even making fun of you.

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          • SoccerStud88
            12 years ago

            ooooh cuz i started my post with an "I". It's all good then.

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    • TrinityFairchild
      12 years ago

      whats wrong with staying friends with ex's?

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      • SoccerStud88
        12 years ago

        BEST friends

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  • lillypoppy
    12 years ago

    if he wanted you he'd be with you

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  • NothingxCrazy
    12 years ago

    Friends use friends. That's what they're here for. Without a need from a friend, you wouldn't ever see them.

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  • pixie_dust
    12 years ago

    whatever you do, do NOT sleep with him!! it almost sounds fishy to me that he tells you that his relationship lacks in the sex dept, while he tells you that his gf hates you. hmmm, could that be to keep you two seperate?? on the other hand, it would make sense that she hates his ex that he continues to have a bond with. also, in addition to not sleeping with him, t would be best to take it a step further and not get together with him in person [at LEAST not w/o another person]. if you really believe he genuinely cares about u as a person, you could try telling him that you've just met the man of your dreams and that he really could be the one, etc, and see how he reacts. if he's content that you've found happiness, that's great! otherwise, he's wanting his cake and to eat it too. if that is the case, RUN!!! they say that if someone is your destiny, and you let them go , and if they come back, they're yours. if not, it's time to explore other horizons.

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  • rawr:3
    12 years ago

    no its not cheatin ur his friend but leasten to it faild the first time dont make it a epic fail by being stupid twice if he dont like her tell him to grow some balls hehe also pll wit mean comments stfu haha:3

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  • Merkree
    12 years ago

    This guy deserves no one, he's playing both of you. Maybe the new girlfriend is "jealous and clingy" because he spends so much time talking to the "old gf". It is a very old game, don't let him get away with it.

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  • Eternallegs
    12 years ago

    If you still have feelings for him and want him then this friendship can NOT be healthy for you. It can end up causing you a LOT of pain in the end. Don't allow him to have his cake and eat it too. If you feel for him it may be better you distance yourself. If he wants to be with you he should be upfront with his current girlfriend and then mend things with you. While he is having the best of both worlds, yours is going to come crashing down around you. I've been in your shoes....DONT let this happen to yourself, either be WITH him or WITHOUT him, none of this best friends stuff when you have feelings it only leads to a LOT of pain.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    stand clear of this relationship or make it public, all the talking about the poor girlfriend behind her back. he is not very manly

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  • detroitlove81
    12 years ago

    Listen,

    I know how it feels. Friendships like these are really convenient and comfortable. I think that the best thing is to take some time off. You can tell him that its for you to really see "things" clearly. I would suggest nothing short of a month. This will let the emotional severity of it all simmer down and it will allow for rational and objective decision making on both of your parts. Its a tough one i understand but i dont see how anything else would be beneficial.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    I can't bring myself to read a poll that has too much writing, especially if it's a relationship poll.

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    • pixie_dust
      12 years ago

      postings regarding relationships are almosr always long, as they should be, to give us a more complete background info in order to give the best advice.

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago

        It's not just that it's a relationship story that I can't read it for being long, it's because nearly all the relationship stories on this site are the same.

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  • TrinityFairchild
    12 years ago

    ok so it cut out this bit:

    he wants to be with me, and has stated that if they dont work out he wants another chance with me. He has given her a deadline to start changing her ways as she is very jealous and clingy with him.

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