Constantly paranoid, hurt and angry
Nah, it's not as bad as the title sounds. It's just that I'm quite bad with relationships. I always get paranoid and misinterpret little things. However, I keep my anger and hurt due to the "betrayal" or "abandonment" to myself because I'm not that stupid - I don't want to alienate everyone.
For example, if someone takes a while to respond to an email, in the time in between, I will get very depressed and hate them and myself (for doing some unknown thing that must have alienated them.) This is what's happening right now actually...yet although I know that I've gone through all this for no reason so many times before, I can't help but do this!
Also, there was another time when the update of someone's personal message on window's live messenger was different to what was being shown, so I immediately thought that I'd been blocked and I was devastated, because I'd thought that I was close to that person....then I realised that I hadn't been blocked and there is frequently a lag between updates and what you actually see.
But right now, I think I have good reason to feel upset. Information that was previously availiable to me on someone's facebook page isn't anymore because I've obviously been blocked from viewing it. Or have I? And if I have, what were the actual reasons? Maybe it's something less obvious. I don't know. This is driving me nuts. I keep thinking too much and it's driving me nuts because I know that I'm being unreasonable but I can't stop. Help.
Oh yeah, that reminds me, I've cut off some people because of these issues. I hate this.