Constantly arguing with parents

77% Normal
9 Comments

I'm 18, have just left school and am in that awkward stage before university. i want to live away from my parents because i am sick of them constantly judging and scrutinising everything i do, but i don't have the money to move out..especially as i can only find part time work at the moment.

recently everytime i try and talk to my parents it turns into a massive argument...about anything and everything.. usually it revolves around the house being messy...which is blamed on me (despite the fact that i have a younger sister who makes an equal amount of mess).

then it topic veers off into why im not working full time and bringing in an income..but the thing is, while im living at home i dont really need all that much money..they are obsessed with me getting a job and i just dont need or want one..i'll be going to university in 3 months and i'll have to quit any job i get then anyway..

they seem to have a big problem with the doing nothing all day around the house too...the thing is, im on f**king holiday and if i want to sit around and do nothing all day then i bloody well will...ive just sat my A-levels and i think i deserve a rest!

they do not see it this way.

the thing is... we have these arguments on a daily basis, sometimes even multiple times a day, and nothing ever changes...we just go back to the way things were..just with more tension..

eventually dad threatens to kick me out of the house...i call his bluff and he backs down...the thing is i know that these arguments are way to petty to justify me being kicked out..im totally safe.

but now ive realised that my parents don't really control me any more, its like there are no limits..i can do or say anything.

and this depresses me..its actually got to the point where i begin to pity my parents ineptitude during these arguments...its like they have lost their passion for fighting...

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77% Normal
Based on 60 votes (46 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • newtdup
    11 years ago

    obviously, different generations. I'm 54 and have 2 grown kids of my own. YOU NEED your independence. I told our kids they could stay at home as long as they wanted, bring friends home, entertain friends, but they had to help clean up the mess afterward. They had no problem with that. Our kids always had chores they were responsible for (we have horses), feeding horses, mending fences, putting up hay for winter, cleaning house (everyones job), maintaining the property, and working away from home so they had money to spend. They take care of most of their finances now. If they need help, we do what we can. THIS economy is not as friendly as when I was in college, it is hard for young people to even get a good financial start anymore, unless the parents help them out. The bankers tell us not to help our kids out, let them learn the hard way. SCREW that!! I don't want my kids living on the streets when I still have the same house and farm they grew up on. They're welcome to share it. By choice (most of the time) they help maintain the place. They will probably inherit it when we get too old to maintain it. I HOPE your parents are watching out for your best interests, and you are watching out for theirs. In life we need to have family and friends to make it sometimes. Though, living with family can be a real test of character sometimes.

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  • rebel2010
    14 years ago

    Parents want you out. You want to leave. Work on making it happen.

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  • Audacia
    14 years ago

    Whats the problem. You can do what you want. You seem to be on the right track, A Levels and off to Uni. Your parents really don't need to push you and you're lucky they backed down.

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    • m05mko3
      14 years ago

      I was in the EXACT same situation with my parents. But you are very lucky because you are getting to move out of their house to go to University. My parents made me stay in the house and go to the local University to save money. The arguments and fighting never ended and continued on for 4 long years. It was horrible. DO WHAT YOU CAN TO MOVE OUT.

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  • mattjay
    14 years ago

    I'm in a similar position.

    I recommend getting some work for the 3 months before you go to uni - it will pacify and please your folks, and you'll have some extra cash for uni which - trust me - you'll appreciate. Also, that work experience will be useful to you and you might find it more enjoyable than you think.

    If you don't choose to get work, then at least help out more about the house - your relationship with your parents is very important and you'll regret any bad blood in the future. It doesn't require much effort on your part, plus you'll be preparing yourself for life at uni, where those chores will be your own to bear.

    Good luck, hope you sort things out.

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  • nothing2
    14 years ago

    they just don't want you to figure things out. who knows what secret agenda they have.

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  • sandmansgirl
    14 years ago

    There could be several reasons for their outbreaks. It could be something you know nothing about. You stated that both your parents work. Are they having money problems? Are one of them afraid of losing their job? OR, it could be that they feel they are responsible for everything when they come home from work...as in - do they have to pick up after you, fix a meal, do the laundry etc? Do you offer them any money towards groceries, electric, or anything? Do you help them out by fixing meals or at least having them started by the time they get home, or do you help out by doing the laundry, keeping the dishes washed, vacuuming the house, etc? If you do nothing all day, and go out at night, and don't offer them anything (either money or helping around the house), then I certainly can understand why they would be upset. AND..you stated that you are on holiday and deserve a break...what exactly are you on holiday for? And when do they get their holiday? Perhaps you need to review your situation...you just might find the answer to your own question.

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    • harry15
      14 years ago

      fair comment, i don't do a lot around the house..but i never have done and it has never been a problem until now it seems. money certainly isn't an issue as my parents are both teachers and in no danger of loosing their jobs.

      whatever, anyway ive just stopped talking to them..i'll be at uni in a few months anyway.

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  • harry15
    14 years ago

    was only allowed 3000 character and that wasn't enough..

    so in the end i win the argument...but am left in the exact same position, so really there are no winners. everyone is just really wound up and angry with each other!

    it is important to mention at this point that the arguments were no where near as frequent as when i was in school...one of my theories about the cause of this is that all day i am devoid of human interaction...as usually meeting with friends are nightime or evening things like parties, bbq's, going to the pub ect.. with stuff happening pretty much every night..noone wants to do anything during the day (plus many of my mates work).

    so when my parents come home from work i go over to talk to them and their negative response triggers an argument.

    i'd really like to move out to be honest..and if i could afford to then i would, but unfortunately this is not an option.

    should i just avoid talking to my parents from now on?...(this will be difficult because just now as im typing this mum has come through the door and i have a big urge to go and talk to her...despite what happened just 30 mins ago with dad!)

    me and my parents do get on most of the time..or used to anyway, but recently i feel like they have nothing but criticism for me any anything i do isnt good enough...it honestly feels like they are deliberately starting conflict.

    is this normal!?

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