Confused on who i want to be with

LAZY READERS CAN HAVE SHORT VERSION AT BOTTOM, if willing to read story is as told.

I am currently 19, at the age of 17 i was introduced to a girl by a friend of mine. His plan was to hook us up since her Bf was a d**k, at the moment i had thought they weren't together but needless to say they were and i kept talking to her. She was attached to her bf and in love with him. soon enough she left him and in a way we were together for over a year . We didn't officially date but it always felt like it, the kissing the talks about "us" in the future, holding hands everywhere, seeing each other as often as possible, phone calls every night until we said goodnight. Much more of course but you get the point, so this went on for a year we were only actually together for a few days but broke up and there was no difference, we stayed with the same routine and our feelings only grew. Sounds good so far huh? Behind all of this there was the fact that she was not over her ex. I was falling hard for her, something i had never felt in my whole life and i just had the worst timing. I have had plenty of relationships before but never took them so seriously. She was my first of which i had actually given my all, Ive been known to other people to be a "man whore" but i was secretly a virgin who just so happen to date girl after girl leaving them at a whim simply because i didn't feel a special connection. So Im giving my all to this one girl who had tethered my heart to her fingers, and throughout our time together i'd always hear about her ex, it wasn't the normal past relationship talk it was constant talk about him. I was understanding until i saw she wasn't over him, i felt toyed with and used. What we felt towards each other was amazing we'd fight of course but our happiness out weighed everything else. Long story short i knew what i got into by talking to her from the start knowing she loved him and whatnot, i thought i was strong enough of a person to just be with her, but i couldn't bare it and started getting insecure and controlling and so depressed all the time. Everyone i knew could see it and even i saw it in their eyes. At some point i caught her in a lie and found out she had danced with him at some club, I then got more out of her and she tells me of how she would see him occasionally, no sex but the nonchalant kissing. I drew up the courage and convinced myself to tell her enough was enough, i went out with a fight of course verbally abusing her, calling her every name in the book for days,taking back all of my possessions once given as a gift. I was in a rage and eventually i stopped and apologized. She said it was ok and that she understood that wasn't me and i was just taking out all my anger. She would apologize and ask for me back, she kept on for days and days, soon enough weeks. after a month of constantly hearing her ask for me i told her to leave me alone and to make sure she doesn't do the same thing twice if she were to meet someone new. I was then scared that i would fall into what i call a curse and be caught in the hell she went through, having loved and then loving another not knowing who to pick while with the right person. About 2 and a half months later my same friend tries to be a pal and pull my head out of the gutters, tells me about a blind date set up for me and to be ready that week. it never happened but in the end i started talking the the girl he tried to get me with this time. This girl happen to be the same girl i once had a crush on and we both had a thing for each other years before (didn't happen though) so we end up talking for about 6 months ( i was not over my "ex") but after a few months i was convinced i was. Then me and the new girl began to date and we are now at 6 months together. I find myself thinking about my ex occasionally, and at one point confessed to her my feelings. She told me if we could try again and in the back of my head i still had that sliver of hope for us to be together with a clean slate. Problem is i have come to love this girl but not sure if i still love the last one. Im terrified of hurting her and putting her through that pain. i dont wanna break up with her for my ex. Ive left her a few times and i see the pain and its too much for me too bare to leave her for good. we are happy at times, but i feel tied down with her, she is moody and jealous, i cant be around females unless family otherwise she will throw a tantrum, i get anxiety not having to tend to her needs and worrying about getting her mad, lately thats pushing me away from her but i really dont know what to do because she's still an amazing person. I know im an idiot for putting myself into these situations but ive never been able to vent or express all this thats been eating me up. I dont want to leave my girlfriend and make the mistake of doing so just to see if my feelings toward my ex are real.I just want a resolution, One i wont regret and can live with. Sorry for the life story and hearing my sappy bs of love... but thanks to those who take their time reading the long story

SHORT STORY
I currently have been dating for 6 months and love the girl, confused about loving my ex still and dont know what to do since i dont want to hurt my gf and or dont want to make a mistake leaving her because of unsure feelings.