Confused on what to think or do?

22% Normal
3 Comments

So I've been with my boyfriend for about a year now, he cheated / was on tinder (he says only kissed, his friends suspect is was sex)in Feb,I later found out by one of his mates a month or two after it. I've stayed.
I am his first proper relationship(His 22), in his youth years it was all about competing against his mate during O week, new years, 18th, etc. on how many girls pants they can get in to.(But the past of a boy is the past right). Now he does bring up the whole I'm still learning and that he loves me and knows he has screwed up and all that. His had snap chat and deleted twice now due to just adding all these girls from insta and been tempted to snap them. So on, he does do things that make me happy don't get me wrong (sex is okay now, use to be great)We have just started to go out to family things which is a start, we live together, we have a gym membership together, we know most about each other and each others friends. But a couple months ago I found him searching up girls and going though there photos and there friends and after a while I had, had enough of it, so I confronted him and he said 'He doesn't know why, that he comes across them and thinks there hot so wants to see little more, but that he has me, stops straight away and will always be sleeping next me and that he picked me over everyone else'. So that stuff all stopped for a little and just now a few days ago and today, whenever I'm not around or at the house I have found he is searching girls on facebook but deleting his search history on facebook but not his history on his computer.

So do I confront him one more time? But how to do it without him knowing I've been on his computer? Should I start searching up random guys and feel guilty? Do I try and make him be scared of me cheating on him? Is this just a boy thing? I think I love him, I am nearly 20? Should i not be this hard on him cause theirs no harm in looking he tells me? How do I make him be all about me all the time? Should I make him chase me as I've done everything for me (dyed my hair, the washing,shopping list, cleaning the house,never searched up a guy or let another guy touch me drunk or sober, Makes dinner, etc.)

I feel guilty saying anything to him, I feel hurt knowing, But then is asking for too much reassurance a bad thing in a relationship? Can you love someone so much to only feel truly happy parts of some days?

Seeking people going though the same things, or their opinions, or anything to not be confused about rights, wrongs, yes, nos ??

Voting Results
22% Normal
Based on 9 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • Tealights
    7 years ago

    End the relationship.

    This guy is lying, cheating, hiding his actions, and making you feel insecure and scared. You need to leave him, for your sake. He's not ready for a relationship, and no amount of love, crying, begging, or any other Keep-a-man tactics like dressing up, cooking, cleaning, etc is going to make him appreciate you. Cut your losses and find a man who has it together, can love you and only you 100%, and ready to commit.

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  • fluffy1uv
    7 years ago

    Please just leave this relationship now. I never would have thought, in a million years, that my ex would cheat on me. I thought he was perfect. He did and we stayed together for a little while, but he just couldn't control himself... Ended up breaking things off with me because he knew, deep down, that he couldn't be faithful for the rest of his life. That seems like how it is with your bf.

    He is someone who has become addicted to that kind of lifestyle that he used to live. Yes, he can control himself for a while, but you want to spend the rest of your life with someone don't you? He won't be able to stop himself for long.

    These kinds of people are why open relationships are a thing. You have three options: break up with him, consider staying with him and having in open relationship(i don't think this is good for people but for some it's the only option), or stay with him and make him promise he won't stray until he does and then you're back in the situation you're in now.

    Good luck, and please make the right decision. Anyone who would give this guy a second chance is amazingly loving to be able to forgive that, and deserves to have that same love reciprocated.

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  • Rusty-Rider
    7 years ago

    Sounds like your boyfriend needs to mature a little before he will be able to toe the line with your rules.
    Try & find a mate that's your own age and maturity.

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