Confused, ex

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I had a boyfriend for 4 years, I used to luv him a lot, but we cud never really develop an understanding on most of the issues, we were quiet possessive or may be did not trust each other. He wanted to have sex but I bluntly refused to do it before marraige. Then I got friends with another guy, we became best friends and soon we developed feelings and started kissing and making out. I donna how I got into this but I could blindly trust this new friend. I felt so comfortable talking and even doing stuff with him. I don't wanna cheat my ex and I told him that I do not like him any more. But I wonder why does it seem so normal with this guy when I dared not to with someone I was so possesive about and always had strong desire to remian a virgin till marriage?

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Comments ( 2 )
  • WayOutThere
    14 years ago

    It's all about 'chemistry.' You were sexually attracted to the new guy, but you weren't to your ex. I will venture to guess that you saw your ex as a potentially 'good provider,' and you were possessive about him for that very reason.

    What makes up chemistry, what triggers it, why one person, and not another, seems to be an intense subject of research in the field of evolutionary psychology. It's quite fascinating.

    You chose to remain a virgin because you accepted the religious belief (probably Christian belief) that you should remain chaste. Even if you're not religious yourself, this idea is so engrained in modern culture that it's hard to get rid of. I've commented on this belief before. See...

    http://isitnormal.com/story/sex-before-marriage-is-a-sin-32885/

    Your ex stayed with you for 4 years, but never got laid. Poor guy, I feel sorry for him.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    14 years ago

    @WayOutThere: Thank you for your comment
    I wanna add a little over here, I never really thought of sex, when I started with my boyfriend (why I had strong beliefs is another topic). I took him as someone who truly loved me in every respect and started loving him too. But he wasn't just my type.

    Likewise in case of the other guy, i wasn't sexually attracted to him either, but everything that I had dreamed to put in place with my ex, seemed to automatically fit in this guy's case. I mean there's much more in life than just sex, and once everything was so perfect I had no bounds.

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