Confused and embarrassed of my emotions

89% Normal
5 Comments

I get anxious pretty easily. I'd hate to say I have an anxiety disorder. People describe their symptoms and panic attacks and I feel like I shouldn't identify with them because well, I don't. I can't say it's that severe.
I feel embarrassed about how I act. I get antsy and a little jittery and I cry a LOT. And I get even more stressed out trying to hide it. And I start thinking about weird and random things, stuff I'm embarrassed to even admit and type out online. I feel panicked but I'm afraid of showing it. I have the clarity to seem normal on the outside. So I feel like my anxiety isn't that bad if I'm able to hide it to some degree. But it's so unbearable.

I haven't expressed myself like this ever before. I feel so strange writing about this. Like I'm admitting that I'm behaving abnormally. But not like people who actually have mental health problems, so it's like I have no good reason to feel and think and behave the way I do. I know the stigma about mental health, and I think it's unfair. It needs to be taken more seriously. But at the same time I feel like it's wrong for me to be so anxious and thinking and saying weird things. I feel like holding in my stress and anxiety makes me act strangely. And that makes me even more uncomfortable.

I can't consciously focus on the positives when I know there's something bothering me. There's only one person I feel remotely comfortable to talk to about how I feel but I know they don't want to deal with me because they don't know how. They're also the source of a lot of my stress.
I loathe feeling this way. I hope it's normal to feel strange about their emotions. I feel so helpless.

Voting Results
89% Normal
Based on 18 votes (16 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • Asstastics
    9 years ago

    Coolness is the cure. Put on a pair of sunglasses and nominate yourself as the coolest person in the world.

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  • derpyderp
    9 years ago

    There's no reason to feel at all ashamed or embarassed about something like this.
    & just because others have it worse doesn't change a thing.
    No matter what anyone's problem is there's always someone worse off.
    It doesn't mean the smaller problem is not important...

    Have you TRIED talking to the person you feel remotely comfortable with?
    That seems like a damned good start IMO.

    I would assume the mere thought of talking to someone you're not comfortable with would cause anxiety so may be harder?

    & obviously the person you feel comfortable with is very close to you.
    They may be willing to do whatever it takes to help you, whether they seem to know how to or not...
    The only concern is them being a major source of your stress.

    You're right that it's not healthy to hold those feelings in & keep them to yourself.
    Hopefully this is your first step towards an outcome.

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  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    And how is denial working out for you?

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    I hide my mental illness with alcohol and doing things to make myself laugh.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    9 years ago

    Maybe you have an anxiety disorder, maybe you don't. The important part is how YOU feel and whether or not you wish to do something about it.

    I'm not suggesting that you go out and get drugs or anything but if I were you, I'd go talk to a regular, plain-nothin-special therapist or counselor. It's likely that, because you don't have social support on your side (I'm assuming), that your feelings going unexpressed and unacknowledged are starting to come back to bite you in the ass. That is true of most sane people.

    Everyone has stresses in their lives and everyone worries. Healthy people tend to have good social support networks so they aren't sitting there worried alone. You need to talk this all out and sort it out with an impartial third party (who doesn't charge a fuckin' arm and a leg for an hour-long visit). If you aren't up to that, then I'd suggest you write a personal journal on either pen and paper or your computer. Maybe write a blog. No one is likely to read it but shit, for some people, it's just nice to know that their feelings have been put out there.

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