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I was planning on terminating the pregnancy anyway but I had a miscarriage and I got confusing feelings of fear, loss and wondering if I did something to cause it to happen. I don't understand why I got those feelings. :/ And now I'm worried something is wrong with me down there even though I am sure I do not want any more children.
These are normal feelings and concerns. Tell your doc you had a miscarriage and ask for a pelvic exam to determine if you have anything wrong down there.
Whether you had an abortion or a miscarriage... it is very NORMAL to feel a loss for the baby inside of you... I have a friend who felt the same way who had an abortion bc she was raped and she didn't want it and couldnt afford it either.. and I hear about it all the time that people who had an abortion feel this way. It doesnt matter how it was lost.. at some point the feelings come up. At least you did not have to do it... It sounds like you didn't want it anyway... not to sound inconsiderate. I'm sorry for your loss though. I know things will get better.
It has something to do with your hormones. I've read stories about women who donate/sell eggs (which I guess the body responds to as if it's a miscarriage) experiencing similar feelings. It's normal, but you might want to talk to your doctor.
You did a d&c anyway? Those aren't always necessary in a miscarriage. The body can expunge baby bits pretty efficently on its own. A spontaneous abortion is natural and very very common. Most woman have them without knowing they were pregnant in the first place. And your hormones get all wonky and you feel all sorts of feels and those hormones help to push out the last of the remaining bits. Yay nature!