Conflicting sexual emotions during/after puberty

I am a male. Since my early teens, I've had conflicting emotions of a mostly-sexual nature. I loved some people that I used hate and hated some people I used to love. Most of the time, I felt like I loved and hated people who I used to love *or* hate. In other words, I wanted to fuck, hurt, and love both nice and mean females. Love and hate both seemed to be a normal part of my sexual feelings, and were often interchanged in fantasies. I think this was part of my sexual development as a normal sadomasochistic human.