Compulsively late because of ocd?

40% Normal
4 Comments

I'm pretty much late to everything 90% of the time. I'm often late for work, for meeting up with family or friends, for doctor and dentist appointments, etc.

I have had this since as far back as I can remember (age 3 or 4). It started off pretty mild, I think but has progressed to moderate and to sometimes severe. One of my compulsions is doing things in a certain order, waiting until a certain minute to move out of bed, reading something a certain number of times before leaving my bedroom to get ready and checking things a certain number of times until it's either even or it feels right to my brain.

I also have it before I go to sleep so I am sometimes up late or when I'm awoken in the middle of the night, I can't go back until I do things a certain number of times. This is very time consuming as you can probably imagine.

I hide my OCD from my family as much as possible and I don't think they know I have had it. It's a shock to me, really because when I was little, I used to turn on and off light switches about 8 times in a row. They even saw me do this but they didn't question it. I think they were just preoccupied with my mother being pregnant and then having my brother. So I learned to hide it in that time and I started saying "it's okay to not do this until they are gone". Then I'd do things when they left the room or whatever only.

Anyway, I do many OCD things like count/touch/think and even listen to/watch and read certain things a certain number of times. It's ridiculous and makes me feel insane but I know a lot of people suffer from these and it is an anxiety disorder.

But because of one of the components to my OCD, it makes me late. Having to do the checking/timing bits is annoying. I can't sleep when I want, can't get out of bed when I want or leave when I want. Is this a normal part of OCD or is that not my OCD and just me?

And btw, the only person who knows I have it is my boyfriend and even he doesn't know the severity of it because I fear he'd be overwhelmed if I told him. I know he'll find out eventually though as he has already seen me walk in and out of the bathroom and close the door 12 times in a row before I could go back to sleep. :/

But yeah, is this normal to be late so much from this? I want treatment but can't get it at the moment as I have too many other health problems that are taking priority/unrelated to OCD.

=/

Voting Results
40% Normal
Based on 10 votes (4 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 4 )
  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    Aww, I'm sorry you're going through that. Have you looked up or tried any coping mechanisms to curb the OCD a bit? I'm not a therapist or anything but, maybe you could enlist your boyfriend to help you? Like as you're coming out of the bathroom maybe you could have him walk you away from the door and distract you to get your mind to new thoughts, rather than fixating on closing the door 12 times. Maybe your slight embarrassment could be used as a way to get you to break that cycle. Again though, I have no idea if that's how it works.

    I can totally imagine being late all the time if you're dealing with that.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    3
    3
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Aww that was so kind, thank you. I suppose I could see if he can help with it. I just always assume he can't change it or help me at all but maybe he can because we are very close. I will try that but we don't live together so he can't help me most of the time :/

      But thank you so much.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      3
      3
  • thr
    9 years ago

    My thinking is is that if you tell people about it, it become less of a big deal. It may also be that your parents have noticed it at times, but don't know how big a problem it is to you.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • iEatZombies_
    9 years ago

    It's definitely your OCD, all of this. Honestly, it's not smart to try to fix tis yourself. You need a cognitive behavioural specialist that can moniter and adjust your behaviors carefully. If you try to do it yourself, you'll fall flat. You can't tell yourself how much is too much because your idea of normal is distorted, therefore you can't tell yourself if what you're changing is better or worse for you.
    Your boyfriend can alert you when you're doing something abnormal, but you won't listen to him forever. It'll feel too much more like a lecture to you than it will be helpful. In other words, if he tells you to stop doing something, you may listen for a bit, but then you'll go back to what you're doing and it'll hurt your relationship for both of you.
    I'm not sure what else is going on with you, but this is just as much a medical problem as all of your other medical problems- so if you can find a way to get help, do it. Especially seens how it's starting to affect other areas of your life.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1