Coming out

5 Comments

Hey, Well im a guy heading off to the university soon with a guy that im in love with, and i still havent come out to my family as Bisexual. I'm dead afraid of coming out to them, as unfortunately they are homophobic, I have no idea what to do. Im planning on not telling them until after i graduate from university but at the same time,im afraid if thats too long to wait.

Should I come out to them now?Why (Comments please) 9
Should i wait until i go to the univeristy? Why (Comments please) 10
Should i wait until i graduate university? Why (Comments please) 8
Should i try forget about the guy i love, and try to like a girl? Why? 5
Should i not tell them at all?Why (Comments please) 4
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Comments ( 5 )
  • bleach_baby
    9 years ago

    Just to clarify, are you bisexual, or gay? Is telling your family that your bisexual actually a stepping stone to telling them that you are homosexual? (I'm not saying all bi guys are actually gay btw, it's just the phrasing of the post). Because if you're actually gay and you tell your parents you're bi, they are gonna try to pressure you to find a girl instead.

    Regarding the coming out - it's really a shame they're homophobic, I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe when one of them makes a homophobic remark you can use that as an opportunity to test the waters, without actually telling them you are - stand up for homosexuals, see how they respond, maybe even ask them 'What if one of your own children/family were gay'. Try and make them see that who a person has sex with is no business of anybody else, and there's nothing wrong with it.

    If they're really homophobic, maybe for now just tell them that you're seeing someone, that you're in love, that you're happy. You're on the brink of adulthood now, you can begin setting boundaries that weren't there when you were a child. If they probe further, say you don't want them involved in your personal life at this point, you just wanted them to know that you're happy. Establishing a more adult relationship with them now could make it easier to come out later on.

    Good luck, and congratulations on having found someone you love to be with - I wouldn't throw that anyway for anyone!

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    If you can live comfortably with your secret, then I do not see any harm in keeping mum. But if you are feeling guilty or just generally bad about the situation, I believe that it is up to you to figure out how you want to live with being gay, and who you must tell, to be comfortable with yourself.

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  • isitnormal1058
    8 years ago

    If they are the ones paying your university and they are really homophobic then wait until your finished. That's at least my plan, because I'm also bi

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  • wowimnotnormal
    9 years ago

    I would come out when you get to the university. That gives them time tothjnkit over before hating you

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  • Aliceee93
    9 years ago

    You have to tell them sometime, the sooner the better I say. Otherwise it will just play on your mind. Tell them, head of to university and that will allow them time to come to terms with it :)

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