Christmas lunch

18 Comments

So my uncle has just arrived for Christmas lunch. He's wearing a hooded rain coat that is short, and clearly no pants underneath.

He sits down at the table and something goes 'plonk' on the wood.

It's a giant inflatible phallus.

My uncle has worn a strap on type thing for his Christmas costume this year.

Later, during lunch, he got out a "travel size" inflatable doll and inflatable sheep, which we sat on my grandmother's chair.

Anyone got a more fucked up story this Christmas?

You win most fucked up family this year. 32
I can outdo that story. 6
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Comments ( 18 )
  • NoraBaker
    11 years ago

    Hahahahaha! Oh, I so want a pic of this! Haha.

    I can't beat your story, obviously, but I can tell what happened last night, at the end of Christmas Day. Since "Christmas was canceled" with the extended family, in a town 3 hours away, and the nuclear family doesn't give two shits about it, we just did the nice dinner on the 24th and lunch on the 25th, the three of us together. During the rest of the day each went about their lives and off and on we'd meet at the TV to watch something together. My parents spent most of the day there, multitasking - dad on the internets and mom doing embroidery/patchwork.

    Fast forward to nighttime ---> a Stevie Wonder concert being broadcast live, on cable. I was in another room, just barely listening to it, doing other things, getting ready to get in the shower - I had to walk across the room where they were. Talk about timing, eh? My dad was asleep in his chair - fully reclined at this time, my mom in her chair had her eyes wide open, laughing in embarrassment, mouthing "Noooraaa!!!", while on the huge screen a split image showed a strong sweaty black male fucking a busty while female, doggy style, mirrored in the spilt screen. So I laugh quietly back at her and walk towards my dad to fetch the remote from him, but I can't keep quiet. I burst out laughing right in his face and he wakes up, scared. So I never get the remote. And all three of us have this awkward conversation, explaining to him what happened, while more porn is going on behind me. And no one changes the channel. Merry Christmas!

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  • anti-hero
    11 years ago

    I am sorry I missed this when it was new haha

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    • charli.m
      11 years ago

      I kinda wish I'd missed this when it happened :P

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      • anti-hero
        11 years ago

        haha

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  • Justsomejerk
    11 years ago

    I thought you seemed underwhelmed by the prospect of your ram coming for chrissy dinner. Now I see why.

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  • dirtybirdy
    11 years ago

    Oh dear

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  • Avant-Garde
    11 years ago

    That's really sick. I don't think any of my Christmas memories can outdo this one.

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    • charli.m
      11 years ago

      I guess you had to be there to see the funny side of it :/

      Sorry if it weirded you out.

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      • Avant-Garde
        11 years ago

        Don't worry, it's fine.

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  • Ijustknowimweird
    11 years ago

    Fake maybe? XD if its real its just sick xD

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    • charli.m
      11 years ago

      Not fake. I can't put the pic up cos it says nothing pornographic will be accepted.

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      • Ijustknowimweird
        11 years ago

        Lolol

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  • bananaface
    11 years ago

    HAHAHA! I'm so sorry! Poor you:(. I don't think I could outdo that one, despite my family being what they are.:P

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    • charli.m
      11 years ago

      I find it pretty funny, tbh. I feel like a freak now though :-S

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      • bananaface
        11 years ago

        Ha, I'd find it funny too. Coming from anyone else, this post would sound fake, but since I knew it was you I didn't even consider that it might be fake. I kind of just know that it isn't. Haha, aww, I hope you had a good Christmas anyway:)!

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        • charli.m
          11 years ago

          Hehe thanks...I think? :P

          I did, and I hope you did, too :)

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  • dappled
    11 years ago

    Mine isn't particularly brash or anything like but it's messed up in its own little way. One year, my parents bought my brother and sister normal presents and got me a small packet of powdered chicken soup (bad enough in itself, but even odder considering I am vegetarian and couldn't eat it). We weren't really getting along at the time so I never found out the reason.

    Merry Christmas, OP.

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    • charli.m
      11 years ago

      That's so sad :( Parents and their headfuckery, eh?

      Merry Christmas to you, too :) I hope yours is better this year.

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