Chances of this matchup working?

23 Comments

She's got asperger's and I'm borderline. Both of us are female. She has said she's into boys, but I think she could be into girls too.

I panicked and bombarded her with WhatsApp messages because I thought her social cack-handedness and consistent lack of emotional feedback was a deliberate act of rejection. She was horrified that I could think she wouldn't be 100% direct with me, and she said she felt the entire conversation was too weird for her to deal with. She isn't replying to me at all now.

Match made in hell...?
It's almost comical.

I wish I didn't love her so much. I miss her so much I can feel the pain of missing her gnawing away at my insides like an acid.

High chance 1
Slim chance 5
I'm a troll 7
Normal chance 0
Zero chance 12
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Comments ( 23 )
  • RoseIsabella
    3 years ago | pl

    You should leave her the freak alone! If you don't leave her alone then you're just another stalker harassing a poor unfortunate victim.

    When someone says no they mean NO!!!

    You don't love her, you're just infatuated, and obsessed with her. If you really loved her you would respect her instead of bombarding her, and harassing her!

    Good for her for going no contact.

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    • Grunewald
      3 years ago

      Thanks. I needed that slap upside the head and I'm not being ironic.

      You assume a lot about what I did next, though.

      It feels demeaning to defend myself. Like I'm guilty until proven innocent just because I defined myself by the 'b' word. Borderline. It's not an official diagnosis but I satisfy enough of the DM-5 criteria and the stories of childhood and adulthood resonate well enough with my experience, and my therapist just nods along with me.

      I'll throw it out there that I unfollowed her on Instagram and made her unfollow me, and then muted her on WhatsApp, as well as on all the WhatsApp chats we're mutually on, so that I wouldn't be tempted to talk to her again.

      It still feels demeaning though, to have to defend myself on a site like IIN. I'm already broken and hurting as it is. I have been for weeks, now. I see a therapist, take my medication, contact groups of friends and church regularly, attend all the prayer meetings, go for special ministry prayer, check in with my pastor and his wife, and do everything I'm 'supposed' to. And while I'm at it, I pray that God would take me home early, as soon as I'm ready to take my place with him, before I get the chance to ruin anyone else's life on earth.
      Why should it be assumed that I'm a creepy stalker just because I spare you all a tl;dr post explaining all of these details?

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      • RoseIsabella
        3 years ago

        I never said you were a creepy stalker, I said that if you continue to try to communicate with this person that you would be a stalker. You may, or may not have Borderline personality disorder, but if you have BPD you don't have to let it define you. You might have BPD, but are not your diagnosis. You're an adult, and you can make the conscious decision to stop pursuing a person who doesn't feel the same way that you do about her. Yes, what you are going through is a painful thing, but please know that you are not alone. Lots of people are rejected everyday by the objects of their affections.

        One of the best things you can do for now is unfollowing this person on social media, and or blocking her if necessary. Good on you for that!

        If you really think that you have BPD then start reading books about healing from BPD, and even books about C-PTSD. Ask your therapist about treatment for BPD. Continue to work with a therapist, and try not to take rejection too personally.

        I try to think of rejection as a two way street, if other people have the right to reject me for whatever reason they so choose the good news is that I also have the right to reject other people, and I don't need to justify it, or make excuses.

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  • SkullsNRoses
    3 years ago

    Match made in hell definitely, you need to work on your issues before getting into a relationship.

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  • McSorley
    3 years ago

    Damn, you legit gave her douche chills and scared her away. It takes a special kind of, well, special to do that. I'd leave her alone for a while if I were you.

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  • raisinbran
    3 years ago

    “She isn't replying to me at all now.“

    Try 50-100 more messages, see if that’ll get a reaction from her.

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  • Hubbard
    3 years ago

    You’re the troll or I’m the troll?

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  • randypete
    3 years ago

    leave her alone do not get involved

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  • Tommythecaty
    3 years ago

    Depends on what kind of borderline you are, misunderstood one who acts like a douche or one of those evil somewhat predatory ones that acts like a douche

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  • bigbudchonga
    3 years ago

    Ya fucked it up, chief

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    • KholatKhult
      3 years ago

      “Chief” gave me a ptsd shiver

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      • RoseIsabella
        3 years ago

        Where did the PTSD shiver come from about "chief"?

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        • SkullsNRoses
          3 years ago

          D0esnormalmatter?

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          • litelander8
            3 years ago

            😂

            I miss him taking our abuse too.

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            • SkullsNRoses
              3 years ago

              I’m sure he’ll be back, no-one really gets out of this cesspit alive.

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          • RoseIsabella
            3 years ago

            I dunno.

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