Cat got her tongue

6 Comments

So, I finally broke down & joined one of those dating websites....The first girl I met turned out to be an alcoholic so I cut that off real quick!! Next, I contacted another lady that’s local to me & we’ve been talking by text mostly & on the phone a few times, I haven’t met this one in person yet....We’ve talked everyday since Monday & this is now Saturday....Here’s the problem, she only talks when I make the effort to do so, like, I don’t hear from her until I contact her first everyday...she’s never been the first text or call & when I asked her about it she said she’s interested & thinks I’m cute (I’ve sent her pics) but is just busy....Idk what to make of this because usually when we talk on the phone it’s 45 min to an hour & a half before we hang up....We’ve tentatively talked about meeting sometime but I’m just not feeling like she’s making the same effort as I am here...But I can’t see her talking THAT long on the phone if she really isn’t interested....She commented to me that she had another guy she was talking to before me but when she tried to call him he would tell her he wasn’t ready to talk then or he would make an excuse why he couldn’t....Maybe she’s scared & feeling me out to see if I’ll be the same way?? If so, she’ll never know that I’m not like that if she doesn’t make the first effort every once in a while...We have been texting a few times & she asked if she could call on her way to work, which she always does but still, it’s after I’ve made the initial contact for the day....Maybe she just doesn’t like to text?? Some people are like that....Last night, we talked for about 15 minutes & she said her boss was at work so she had to cut our conversation short, then later, I text her to say goodnight but she never responded like she usually does, (I assumed she couldn’t because her boss was around)....I’m confused because she did this however, earlier in the day she sent 5 new pics to my phone....I’m not sure how to read all of these mixed signals, I feel that I’m pulling most of the weight to keep the contact going between us....What if I keep making the contact & nothing changes? I’ve told her several times in text & on the phone to call or text me anytime she wants but so far she won’t make the first contact of the day....Am I worrying for nothing?? Any thoughts?? Suggestions?? Advice??

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Comments ( 6 )
  • Ummitsstillme
    5 years ago

    You're trying to hard and likely coming across as needy. Remember, women on dating sights get more attention than men. You want to quickly progress from texting to phone conversation to meeting and then finding out if you're mutually attracted, have similar values etc.

    If not move on to someone else. You're just wasting her time and yours unless you're both just looking for a pen pal.

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  • Twatmuncher
    5 years ago

    How does one get more responses to questions on here? I’ve seen some pretty stupid questions get 15-20 responses within an hour of being posted....I was hoping for some female perspective on this also.

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  • Boojum
    5 years ago

    First, it sounds like neither of you are looking for a mere hook-up, and it hasn't even been a week since you first contacted the woman. Cool your jets, bro.

    Other than that, I agree with Styro: it sounds like she's someone who wants to be pursued. Very old fashioned, I suppose, but there it is...

    And, yeah, ask if you can meet the woman for a coffee or something so you can figure out if there's the potential for something.

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    • Twatmuncher
      5 years ago

      What u give is perhaps good advice....for some. I however, refuse to play some petty childish game of “pursuit” for two reasons....#1. We aren’t in grade school anymore & #2. Why should I waste my valuable time pursuing this chick when I don’t even know if it would work out anyway & plus, I could be using my time more wisely by chatting with the ones I know are interested & will talk?? If she was the last chick on earth then just maybe....Idk who the fuck some women think they are.

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      • Boojum
        5 years ago

        Totally understand your point of view.

        I detest game-playing too.

        When I was single and using internet dating sites (about 12 years ago), I encountered a few women who seemed to be playing games. I was single because my wife had died about six months before after a very long terminal illness, and my mindset was definitely "life's too fucking short for pissing about". When I broke off my connection to the women I thought were playing games, I did so with a message very politely explaining why I was doing so; not criticising them, just telling them my perspective of what had gone on between us, and why I wasn't willing to tolerate that. That wasn't well-received by a couple, but I didn't care. I would have wanted feed-back about what had gone wrong if our positions had been reversed, so I wanted to give them some.

        You seem to have spent quite a bit of time talking to this woman, so you must feel some sort of mutual attraction. Maybe the time you've invested so far would justify you explaining to her - politely - how you're feeling.

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    Pull the trigger and meet her in person ffs. There’s probably no mystery here as some women like being pursued - that means the guy does the heavy lifting until there is traction and a budding relationship.

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