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There is this quote "you either love someone for ever or you never really loved them". But I am able to love people and then not like them anymore after some time has passed. So does that mean I never really loved them in the first place or is it normal for love to fade away eventually?
| yes, love can end | 84 | |
| no, love is forever | 29 | |
| I don't know | 21 |
That is a false either/or dichotomy (forever/never). Of course your feelings can change - sometimes radically. It doesn't mean they were not true nor valid.
It is very possible to stop loving someone. I was very deeply in love with my ex fiance, but he did a number of awful things to me (that I wont go into detail about) that made me stop loving him. I have zero love in my heart for this man that, at one point, I was ready to spend my life with. That saying is silly and anyone who agrees with it, clearly has very little experience in romantic relationships.
Still in love. Even if they say they don't love me back. :/ I know deep inside they do...because they still talk to me..no matter how many times they say goodbye. Hah.
When I was young I think I had a crush on someone. Either that or just obsessed.
My pride ended up just taking over. Now I couldn't care less about her.
Pride > emotions = Control of the mind.
Love fades away slowly and steadily....
Happens when your lover crushed your heart in a grinding mill... you know what i want to say...
For me it holds true as I have felt "possession" for a woman, but not love. I assume love would be forever.
Then why answer when u don't know shit about love? But doesn't your obsession with the female turn into boredom after a while once you've been in a relationship with her? Or do you want to possess her for eternity? It's kind of similar to my question.
Yes, and then it turns mean.
If I wanted to possess them for eternity, I'd have eaten them.
how is what he stated similar to your question when he has felt possession for a woman and your talking about "loving someone for ever" which includes not being obsessed..? O.o
Possession and obsession aren't very often linked, if more women understood that there'd be alot less abusive relationships.
Women always equate possessive men as being totally in love with them, this is what they want them to think. Someone who is narcish and possessive just likes control, not the poor woman he's inflicting it on, she is almost an object in his eyes. I've heard women say "oh he's so possessive, he's so jealous" as though he has strong feelings. RUN, it is a sophisticated control method that women are blind to seeing truth in, although many books have now been written, exposing these truths. He doesn't really get jealous, he wants to seem jealous in order to keep his "walking piece of furniture" from discovering the cold, empty, self obsessed, manipulator. It's universal, all sexual sadists, abusers and even psychopaths were found to be highly possessive in relationships. These are definitely not people who can really "fall in love", only mimic it. Further studies showed all of these types to use almost identical methods of seduction and control, they all come from a mold of sorts.
Things to watch out for to spot these men were;
he says "I love you" very soon into the relationship, and with ease.
He has short lived bursts of anger over very trivial things, only to calm down and go back to normal in seconds (it takes some time for normal people to calm down, his "switching" infers the anger is utilitarian)
He dislikes your friends for no real reason (because they get in the way of his power, his control over you).
After a fight he showers you with love and attention that somehow feels off (you'll get a gut feeling he's trying to hard) as he's trying to hide those evil tendancies that likely surfaced in the fight.
He seems to tell "white lies" alot, upon being caught out he will likely overreact more than a normal person (he'll become defensive and angry that you don't believe him).
All of this emotion and "up and down" attitude is a ruse to show himself as a "loving but damaged man, in need of love and understanding". But he is, infact, a cold and frightening person deep down.
"They use heat to cover ice"
Amazingly, 9 out of 10 women fall for this when presented with it.
why do they love control so much? If it's just over some woman, it's not like it gets them the power to destroy the world so why is it so important and desirable to them?
Because, like me, they are deeply damaged people who feel powerless in an uncertain world. So they grab the power closest to them and keep a tight grip on it. It will spread out though, they often become bullies in schools, work places, the street even.
Such people are quite misogynistic, they have many relationships (so people tend to assume they like women) but don't value them in terms of love but power instead. When the woman finally leaves, their reaction is not one of sadness but rather distress at the loss of power. They then go on the hunt and repeat the cycle until death.