Can you help me ? :)

4 Comments

I am lost for friends I mean I have friends but not many I can relate or go out with. Trouble is my thing isn't to go out to town drinking, maybe just have a quiet few in a nice pub.

I recently joined a class to meet more people but it was full of oldies :/ so I joined the same sort of class but at a different venue still oldies, I am rejoining for the next term because I love it. I also thought about joining another course which appeals to younger people, and I also want and thought of joining the gym.
Now I can't do all 3 because of money issues, but I am desperate for friends.

I defiantly want to do one class which is full of oldies... But between another class and the gym I'm not sure. I'd be joining the gym for 15 months. And another class would run about 8 weeks, and if the class had younger people on I'd probably carry it on through the different terms.
Which do you think would be a better place to meet and make friends ? The class or the gym? Or are they both equal. I'm very shy and introverted and I find it unbelievably hard to talk to groups of people, so any advice and tips on how to make friends is welcome :)

Thanks!

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Comments ( 4 )
  • Terry...
    9 years ago

    Maybe part of the reason you aren't meeting as many people as you want is not because of where you are looking, but because you are shy and introverted.
    Maybe you should go to a therapist or consider going to a support group for people who are shy or have social anxiety disorder. That disorder is frequently the reason for shyness. It can be treated. Ask your doctor about your problem and he or she can refer you to someone for help. There are also all kinds of support groups online for just about anything.
    Good luck!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Its strange, I used to be awfully shy, and now I can speak to people, sometimes ill just want to hide but I push myself, I am much more comfortable around 1 person that a group or around people I already know. Sometimes if the person is easy going I can tell and feel at ease, and sometimes I get really nervous. I wouldn't say I need therapy I don't want it ! I just want advice :(

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      • Terry...
        9 years ago

        I did give you advice. I'm sorry it wasn't something you are interested in,
        The fact that you still feel uncomfortable and nervous talking to people reveals that you may still have some sort of anxiety disorder....perhaps the one I already mentioned.
        Speaking to one person is much less threatening than speaking to a group, which would explain why it doesn''t make you as nervous.
        Your problem is debilitating as long as it is affecting your day to day life and your problem is certainly doing that. It is preventing you from having a relaxed healthy social life.
        I understand now that you don't want therapy. Sometimes people with your problem are helped quite a bit with medication....usually SSRI's. Perhaps if you talk to your doctor she/he might be able to help you with something like that. It can be something as simple as a chemical imbalance.
        As I pointed out before, there are online support groups for just about everything, so maybe that would help you understand what is causing your problem and give you some suggestions/advice on how to deal with iit.
        The only other thing I can suggest is exposure therapy, which means doing more of what you are doing. Make yourself get out there and socialize with people, working up to larger groups and doing it with more frequency.
        Good luck.

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  • TitsMcGee007
    9 years ago

    What are your hobbies and real interests? Join a group that revolves around you and your wants. Then , naturally, making a real connection to a human being will be easier, in a sense ; you already have something in common , so at least there's one conversation starter right off the bat. Don't think about your dialogue so much, it's impossible to please every person you meet, so why waste any more time in that nonsense whirlpool? How could one make an honest connection , "Friend", if one doesn't accept themselves or their true wants? Go have a good talk with the mirror :) ...(I do this often , it actually does make a difference in my confidence and ego. Defintely not a bad thing!) Good luck on your adventure OP !

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