Can't seem to keep a conversation going... iin?

86% Normal
11 Comments

So there's this guy that I know and I'd like to become friends with him. He seems really cool and he's pretty outgoing. I'm not shy but I just can't think of anything to talk about but on the few times that I have, I can't seem to keep the conversation going on my side. It's not like I'm nervous around him because I'm like this with EVERYONE I meet/am acquainted to.
How can I become more outgoing/think of things to talk about? And is it normal for me to be like this?

Voting Results
86% Normal
Based on 51 votes (44 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 11 )
  • justsomekidfromcanada
    10 years ago

    The only advice you need when it comes to conversations is that you need to be genuinely interested in the other person. People find themselves talking about the weather because they're too scared to ask about something that actually matters to the other person in a meaningful way. Indulge in your curiosity and ask questions. Conversations become awkward when you focus too much on trying to keep it moving rather than trying to actually enjoy it. If you're excited about what you're discussing, awkwardness just sort of washes away.

    One last thing; don't be afraid to pause. A lot of people end up sounding like babbling morons because they don't think that it's okay to stop talking for a second. If the person you're talking to asks an interesting question or says something that intrigues you, pause for a second. Think about what you want to say for a couple seconds before you say it. I guarantee that the other person will be on the edge of their seat waiting for your response. You won't look weird or stupid, you'll just look like you actually give a fuck about what you're discussing. There is nothing worse than just blurting out bullshit because you don't know what to say.

    Also, eye contact and a smile will make you a lot more fun to talk to. If you've ever had a conversation with someone that is really bad with eye contact, you'll know what I mean.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    3
    3
      -
    • [Old Memory]
      10 years ago

      "The only advice you need when it comes to conversations is that you need to be genuinely interested in the other person"

      Bullshit. Conmen, psychopaths, narcs and pathological liars are great conversationalists by their very nature. And they couldn't give two shits about the other person and only find themselves interesting.

      So clearly being genuine isn't part of holding a good conversation.

      "because they're too scared to ask about something that actually matters to the other person in a meaningful way"

      Actually, people seem to greatly fear being asked this.

      "One last thing; don't be afraid to pause. A lot of people end up sounding like babbling morons because they don't think that it's okay to stop talking for a second"

      Only if the person on the receiving end is slow. I always think "hurry the fuck up and spit it out you moron, it's not rocket science"

      "eye contact and a smile will make you a lot more fun to talk to"

      Well actually...oh wait..yeah this is true. Except if you're like me and have amazing eyes, some people get lost in them. They stare into them so intently you feel as though they're about to try and climb into your head.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      -1
      -1
        -
      • justsomekidfromcanada
        10 years ago

        No offense man but you sound like a bit of a dick. Somehow I don't think I would enjoy a conversation with you at all.

        1. Just because psychopaths aren't genuine doesn't mean you shouldn't be. I am giving conversation tips to make friends and get closer to people, not deceive them and play with their heads. Being genuine IS important and it's a trait that people generally appreciate.

        2. I don't know why you think people fear being asked about meaningful things. That's completely outrageous. I don't think many people live fearing the day that someone asks them about something they actually want to talk about. God forbid.

        3. If a natural pause of a couple seconds pisses you off than you're not really having a conversation. You're just waiting for your turn to talk again.

        4. I have nothing to say.

        You sound like a relatively intelligent person and I respect what you have to say as much as I can but you're mixed up man. Unless of course you're just fucking with me, in that case good job.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        1
        1
          -
        • [Old Memory]
          10 years ago

          "No offense man but you sound like a bit of a dick"

          I am, but the best people are often seen that way.

          "Just because psychopaths aren't genuine doesn't mean you shouldn't be. I am giving conversation tips to make friends and get closer to people, not deceive them and play with their heads. Being genuine IS important and it's a trait that people generally appreciate"

          Don't get me wrong, I'm not disagreeing with you. I'm just saying that it is not necessary in the slightest. Some of the best conversations I've ever had involved me not being genuinely interested at all. I assume I'm not some sort of magical new person so I would think most others could say the same at times.

          "I don't know why you think people fear being asked about meaningful things. That's completely outrageous. I don't think many people live fearing the day that someone asks them about something they actually want to talk about. God forbid."

          Having a fear of opening up to people in such ways is one of the most common social problems among people, where do you live? Under a rock or something?

          "If a natural pause of a couple seconds pisses you off than you're not really having a conversation. You're just waiting for your turn to talk again."

          No it doesn't, I hate people who can't think on the spot and have to roll over each sentence in their heads. Something that is all too common. I ment it more in the sense that people can't talk too quickly for me. Though I do take things in quite quickly, I'm a sharp cat/dick.

          -Tommy, king of all cats.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
  • loonylightsgood
    10 years ago

    maybe your an introvert and can't do small talk?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Jill123
    10 years ago

    Sometimes when you really like someone you feel like you can't say anything or you fear that you'll bore him. Ask him more about himself. Guys have an ego and you can make him feel important by smiling and looking impressed when he tells you things about himself. Ask him about his hopes and dreams. Sometimes it's really hard to talk with someone because you might not feel 100% comfortable with them. But there are people you will click with right away. Just keep searching and you'll find them. And yes, how you're feeling is very normal. We have all felt that way before.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • 3rdXsTheCharm
    10 years ago

    Seems pretty normal.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • PureLikeSnow
    10 years ago

    Make statements, add insight for the subject you're currently talking about, ask questions, compliment him, discuss your goals and other miscellaneous plans for the future, and so forth.

    Relax, talk to him like you would talk to any other person. :)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • thegruffalo
    10 years ago

    I'm pretty much the same =/ it sucks!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • ygrowup
    10 years ago

    You can over come this by learning more about his interest and hobbies, do some research for yourself about them and ask interesting questions that he can explain to you

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Sog
    10 years ago

    If you are a match then this doesn't happen.

    If this happens to me, I immediately write that person off as not compatible.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    -1
    -1