Can't get my head around sex.

34% Normal
21 Comments

I am a 32 year-old virgin, so obviously that's not exactly normal off the bat. But the weird thing is, even though conceptually I know that basically everyone else in the world is scr*wing like bunnies all around me, it still seems strange to me. Whenever I see couples now, I think in my head,
"Those two get naked and do the horizontal mambo on the regular." But somehow I can't reconcile that image with reality, its as if there's a shadow world behind the world of appearance. I guess it just has to do with some sort of residue of puritanism that I have somehow been infected with. I wonder if it will disappear when I start having sex? Anybody else feel this way?

Voting Results
34% Normal
Based on 206 votes (71 yes)
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Comments ( 21 )
  • jensapa
    13 years ago

    You will probably wonder what all the fuss is about when u finally do have sex.

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  • jessmartian
    13 years ago

    You'll understand after you have sex.

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  • iguessso
    14 years ago

    I am a virgin at 32 too, and I don't get it too. there was a time that i felt like such a weirdo, because people around me are talking and doing it, now i just don't care. you cant change the way you are, the idea that i am about to seduce anyone just makes me laugh. then i kill it. i feel like im to blame, but now, it's just - oh well!
    so you're not alone in this. i think others are just more confident, kudos to them.

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    • tylerD1977
      14 years ago

      Hey brother, don't give up!! I haven't. I think we gotta both realize that it's not such a big deal. Haha, "puttin the pussy on a pedestal" kinda thing. We ARE to blame, but I believe people can overcome their fears. If a girl rejects you, what has changed in your life really? Just a little embarrassment. On the other hand if she says "yes", you can gain a lot:) I think we both probably don't feel like it's that simple but it is. So we just have to realize that the risk vs. reward makes it silly to stand on the sidelines.

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  • maddycakes
    14 years ago

    I feel the same way

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  • tylerD1977
    14 years ago

    Some of you people can't seem to read. I want to have sex. I am actually jealous of these people I'm talking about. Read my comment above please, the 4th one down, if you were unclear with the subject here.

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  • austindude69
    14 years ago

    Watch some Porno and see if any of it gets you turned on. If you still don't want it then you have a problem.

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  • laurrrose
    14 years ago

    it feels good, but not when you're with the wrong person... find someone you care about first, and it will happen naturally.

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  • ratmankey
    14 years ago

    Never have sex, it is dirty and gross.

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    • bigred2008
      14 years ago

      You are CLEARLY uneducated. Sex is a beautiful thing, and it brings you closer to the person you love. Plus, if you ever want children outside of adopting them, you haven't got much choice. And nothing feels better.

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      • tylerD1977
        14 years ago

        Lol. No argument here, but it's called sarcasm. Google it:)

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  • randomsensuality
    14 years ago

    I do think that until you've joined the "sex having world" it's very hard to envision "real" people having sex. You may find that having not been apart of that "world" for so long may hinder your own comfortability with partaking - but not necessarily.

    Porn is largely an extension of fantasy, much of it IS a show, and therefore unreal. If you are guided too much by your fantasies or porn you may end up with a lot of unrealistic expectations that can lead to harsh critiques of yourself and lovers. The most important advice I can think of to give someone, to the ends of enjoyment (vs safety), is to let everything be organic - do not analyze in the moment, relax and enjoy.

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  • sineadtwiggy
    14 years ago

    i completely agree with you, i often see a couple and find it hard to imagine them going at it, kinda makes me feel uneasy.. but im in a happy healthy relationship myself, i suppose im just not as shy as you :)
    good luck building things up, i hope you meet a nice lady (or man!), and be honest with them!

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  • tylerD1977
    14 years ago

    Hey people(OP here), don't get me wrong, I am definitely NOT asexual. I loooove women, I just have problems with my own self-esteem and basically being a coward.
    It's not that I find sex objectionable, I think it's great that people are having sex. I think that the way I think about people around me having sex is similar to the way you might think of your parents' sex life or your brother's. You just don't really see them in a sexual context. So when you try to picture it, it seems weird. Now, those examples are a bit more complex than what I'm really talking about here cuz you're being related to them has more of an ick/yuck factor. I guess my feelings about sex have become very compartmentalized. I think that because my own experience of it is only through fantasies and porno, that it doesn't even seem like something that real people do?
    Anyway, I'm pretty sure that I'll start having sex in the near future, as soon as I get my life on track and I'm feeling confident again. I just wondered if I was the only one who felt this way.

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  • Gullart
    14 years ago

    I'm actually more confused than you...

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    • tylerD1977
      14 years ago

      ....it's cool. If you aren't confused about anything, that's when you really got problems. Confusion is what makes us human:)

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    It (sex) makes more sense in the context of a caring relationship, rather than an olympic event, and the relationship is what you don't have & probably want to work toward.

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  • bazwell
    14 years ago

    While Wikipedia may not have the best reputation for being a credible professional reference, it does have great information about Asexualism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality). I suspect that you may be asexual, but I am not a sexologist or doctor, and so cannot give you any sort of a competent professional opinion.

    The truth of the matter is that the act of sex, no matter how antiseptic it is made to seem, is ultimately an extremely (and a literally) invasive and unhygienic act. Every single sexual act you can pick on is dirty and risky; caressing, kissing, vaginal penetration, anal penetration etc, each one more risky than the other.

    So why would anyone ever want to do any of those things?

    Because they feel better than you can imagine! I mean that...fantasy doesn't come close enough!

    Coupled with the emotional tie that often accompanies those acts, sex can be so satisfying. More so than wealth, literature, technology and science, religion, politics heck even food sometimes.

    Your feelings about sex may come from a lack of experience of it or a fear of the intimacy it may represent to you. But I can guarantee that if you are not asexual, then when you do have sex for the first time the right way with the right person(s)...you will never look back.

    best of luck to you!

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  • darkfuneral
    13 years ago

    ok just drink alot or use ur fav drug and then find a hooker, it will work

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  • kashmycheck
    14 years ago

    Horizontal mambo? You need to get laid... To bad your probably fat

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    • tylerD1977
      14 years ago

      Horizontal mambo = one of many colorful colloquialisms for sex. I think it's funny.
      Thanks for being snarky though. And I'm not particularly fat BTW, if you saw me on the street you would never guess I was a virgin. Don't fit any virgin stereotype.

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