Can't get it up lol

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10 Comments

I'm sleeping with a man who is older then me (49) and I'm 26 and he struggles to maintain a hard on he did have operation down there about 6-7 months ago and he said since then he has problems. He went and even bought viagra and that helps a little but never stays hard long enough. I even thought maybe he isn't turned on enough with me but I'm size 10 34E blonde tanned so I'm really stuck on what to do but he does go down on me and it's amazing is it normal for a man his age we have had sex etc just never been with man who suffers from not being able to maintain a hard on during sex.

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83% Normal
Based on 6 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • anothertime
    6 years ago

    LEVITRA is king only thing that works for me not cheap O

    muse is another works very well porn stars us it for 3 hour hard...
    Prostin VR Pediatric, Caverject Impulse, and Muse
    Prescription needed

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    • Flammy
      6 years ago

      Where are you from as I'm from UK and never have heard of that Levitra

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  • Boojum
    6 years ago

    Really not very "LOL", if it bothers him and bothers you.

    Not sure what to make your question, really, since you obviously know that older guys often have erectile issues and you know your man had some sort of operation that might have affected him.

    Personal issues meant I went through a brief phase of impotence when I was around his age. For what it's worth, I found Cialis better than Viagra. Don't have those problems now, and a lot of things may have changed over the intervening ten years, so there may be things even better than Cialis available now.

    He could try an alternative drug, but if nothing seems to work, then I suspect you'll have to accept there's something physically wrong with the plumbing or wiring.

    "Real sex" doesn't have to involve penile penetration, of course. Oral sex does count as sex. If he's really into giving you cunnilingus and he's got great technique, then what's not to like about that?

    It is possible for men to have an orgasm without an erection, so if giving that to him is important to you, maybe you could return the favor? Be aware that it might take prolonged stimulation, particularly if he's feeling stressed out about his "non-performance". He might also believe that it won't be possible for him to reach orgasm without an erection, and this could be a block for him. If so, tell him to research it.

    If penetration is important to you, there are literally hundreds of different toys on the market, and at least one will be ideal for you.

    Finally, bear in mind that you stressing out about this and implying in any way that he must not find you sexy enough is just going to make things worse.

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    • Flammy
      6 years ago

      Thank you for your reply when we have had sex and it goes soft I do support him saying it's not a big issue and at first I did think it was because of me which is selfish of me and I keep telling him to go back to the doctor but he is embrased and well before the operation he was fine so he says and he says it's not his age.

      It was wrong of me to of put "lol" as it's really not funny we have had sex and he cummed etc but that was after he took a really sting viagra and he gets side effects like head aches from it and cramps in his legs so I said to him to stop taking them as it's making him suffer. I think I'm trying to find out if anyone else suffered from it and how they over came it but thank you

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      • Boojum
        6 years ago

        Like I said, I did experience erectile dysfunction when I was roughly the age your guy is now. In my case, it was in the first sexual relationship I had after my wife of more than 20 years died. Apparently, it's not uncommon with widowers, and it's all about weird psychological shit going on. The Cialis was a huge help, in that confirmation that things did indeed still work very well gave enough of a boost to my confidence that I didn't have to keep using it.

        Erectile dysfunction is difficult to deal with, because it's often not just a matter of physiology going wrong. Once a guy has a problem, that creates uncertainty about whether he'll ever again get it up, and the stress of that makes it less likely he _will_ get an erection. It's entirely possible for a guy to not even be aware that he's anxious about this.

        The design of men is really pretty messed up in general. In our teens and early twenties, we're constantly getting erections at really inconvenient times; later in life, when we're better able to appreciate them and have women in our lives, they can become rarities.

        If your guy is getting unpleasant side-effects from Viagra, he really should be careful about just taking more.

        I do think it might be worthwhile if he at least tried Levitra and Cialis. He should be cautious with Cialis, though, since it's a much longer-acting drug, and that means any side-effects also linger longer. Maybe start out with a half-dose, and work up.

        There's really no reason for him to be embarrassed about seeing his doctor. Medics see all kinds of truly weird shit, so they won't be shocked at all by his problem and they won't laugh at him. It's not like he's a 98 year-old guy living in a nursing home with a bunch of 80 year-old hotties. Forty-nine is not over the hill these days, he's got a young woman in his life, and this problem is affecting your relationship. Any competent, caring doctor will understand that and try to help.

        Does he still get erections first thing in the morning or when he's sleeping? If he does, that would suggest the mechanics are working reasonably well, and the issue could be more about performance anxiety.

        Frankly, considering your age difference and how you describe yourself, I wouldn't be greatly surprised if, at some level, he's always had at least some concerns about being good enough for you and living up to your expectations. That anxiety combined with the fact he _has_ failed you could be a real boner-killer.

        Finally, it wasn't "selfish" of you to wonder if he just wasn't interested in you. That was a perfectly reasonable thing for you to think.

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        • Flammy
          6 years ago

          Yes he does still get hard on in the morning and his ex wife that he was with for 25 years he didn't sleep with her for the last 11 years as she didn't want to go near him and they fell out of love so he said he is out of practice and the he did tell me he was nervous sleeping with me he was shaking and he did get worked up that he can't maintain a hard on and now when we're together we try and have sex when he takes viagra he can sleep with me but it's just maintaining it some times he can then other times he can't but he is very nervous when he is around me he is shaking and sweating

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          • Boojum
            6 years ago

            Jeeez!

            You must be really something, girl!

            The morning-wood is a very positive sign, It sounds like you need to figure out a way to help him cool his jets and just chill a little. I don't know - maybe you could give each other slow massages with the specific understanding that it won't end with sex? Instead, it's just a gentle exploration of each other's bodies so he's more comfortable with you.

            Often, if you take sex off the table, things just sort of naturally happen because there's no pressure for them to happen.

            Sounds like he just needs to calm down, really accept that you like him, that you're not going anywhere, and he doesn't need to prove anything to you.

            Considering his history, his eagerness is completely understandable, but it's really not helping him or you.

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            • Flammy
              6 years ago

              Yeah I do like him and I'm not a bitch to just walk away from him like that and yeah I think a big bit of it could be nerves maybe because I'm a lot younger he is out of practice etc he feels under pressure to perform and with his operation he has had maybe there is a mental block

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      • TheMightyOz
        6 years ago

        I suffer from erectile dysfunction that was acquired from cancer surgery. The prognosis for your friend is bleak. Vasodilators like viagra don't work very well. Cialis is your best bet. The best course of action is a vacuum pump (I'll find a link for you), but they sort of destroy spontenaiety. There are good videos about massaging the urethral sponge area to cause squirting orgasms. I am good at this. But, sooner or later you will want a good banging, and you'll just have to kick him to the curb.

        I'm sorry. Please be gentle with him. Soon enough he will realize, like I did, that his situation is pathetic.

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        • Flammy
          6 years ago

          Thank you I will defo tell him about cialis and see if that helps and I do really like this man so I think we will try each avenue and see if anything helps

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