Can someone fall in love with a girl after having sex with her?

47 Comments

She is my friend, one evening i presented her the concept of Friends with Benefits. She said she will think over it and tell. After a week one evening she agreed to be in such relationship. That night we did sex. But the main thing is about next day. From the time i woke up next morning till now (its been 2 months), i can't stop thinking of her even for a moment. I think its love, but she says its just physical desire. Its very tough to spend a day without hearing her voice. is it love? Do help me to sort out what is it??

Yes, its love 40
No, its just lust 37
Its actually not both (in that case explain) 9
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Comments ( 47 )
  • KeddersPrincess
    11 years ago | pl

    Do you feel like it's love. Maybe it is. People are going to try to give you a definiation of love, but no one will be able to define it. To me, love is an opinion. Everyone loves differently everyone recieves it differently. We all have our own definition of love which is why I don't believe there is any "true" love. There is only "your" love. Now, I do believe that there is a difference between lust and actually having feelings for someone, but I don't think you can really ask if your are in love or not. I think that is something for you to decide for yourself :)

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    • pappusharma
      11 years ago

      Thanks for such a lovely advice, but it's too hard for me to decide. I only don't know what it is? is it love or not. A very big question indeed.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Sex can breed immature love

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  • shade_ilmaendu
    11 years ago

    I mean, I think it's weird that it only happened after having sex and I think you're responding more to pheremones than anything else.

    I did start out my relationship with my ex as friends with benefits. We hooked up, we kept hooking up, and about a month into all that we just decided that we were dating now. Lasted for over a year and we're still pretty close.

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  • Darkoil
    11 years ago

    Don't be so pathetic, it's usually the girl who cannot have sex without eventually wanting more.

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    • [Old Memory]
      11 years ago

      sexist.

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      • shade_ilmaendu
        11 years ago

        It's not entirely sexist honestly. :/ I hate to admit to fact because I'm a girl myself who has been able to hook up without growing an attachment to the person, but girls release oxytocin when you have sex or apparently even hug for long periods of time. It's a bonding chemical and it's why sex can strenghten relationships.

        However, men don't produce any bonding chemicals. :/

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        • PumpkinKate
          11 years ago

          False. Men produce and are affected by oxytocin as well. Not to the same degree as women, but it's provable scientific fact. This chemical is probably affecting the OP.

          http://psychcentral.com/lib/2008/about-oxytocin/all/1/

          http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3176572/

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          • shade_ilmaendu
            11 years ago

            Oh that does make me feel better. :D I've read a lot of things that suggest that the amount men produce isn't substantial enough for it to actually have an effect. :x

            Made me feel pretty awkward thinking that I got something so different out of sex than what the guys I was with did.

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            • PumpkinKate
              11 years ago

              Well, there's still a lot of research being done on it, but there are lots of studies where men claim a sense of intimacy, closeness, euphoria, love, and trust after what have been recorded as triggered releases of oxytocin in their bodies. Various pleasure centers have been shown to light up in male brains as well when oxytocin is released.

              We don't know yet the precise correlation it has, but there is significant evidence that suggest while it's not as powerful as it is in women, it still happens in men, and plenty of men display the results.

              One of the most incredible things I've ever seen was a father's brain through PET imaging upon holding his first-born for the first time. (something that causes a large surge of oxytocin release)

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          • [Old Memory]
            11 years ago

            Actually It gets blocked off by testosterone, so even if it effects men in some way it's irrelevant to the topic at hand.

            Yes it has effects in men, but no effect on bonding in men, so what point are you trying to make?

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            • PumpkinKate
              11 years ago

              The effect it has on men, as EVERY ARTICLE I'VE LINKED YOU HAS STATED:

              A sense of trust, a feeling of euphoria, feelings of intimacy and closeness with their partner, pleasure, and comfort with the person.

              Explain to me how this is "no effect on bonding in men" and I will then answer your question.

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          • thinkingaboutit
            11 years ago

            Don't forget about the cell-surface receptors lol

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      • Darkoil
        11 years ago

        Experienced.

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    • Darkoil
      11 years ago

      Fark me I started a big debate....

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      • pappusharma
        11 years ago

        Yup and i had a great increase in my knowledge because of that, i should be thankful to you..

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  • Nokiot9
    9 years ago

    Yeah it's probably lust. Doesn't mean it can't turn into something more in the future though. She might come around.

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  • [email protected]
    10 years ago

    You mean your mother?

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  • thinkingaboutit
    11 years ago

    it's infatuation, which is kinda like love i guesssssss

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    Maybe you are in love with the idea of being in love with her.

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    • pappusharma
      11 years ago

      so that means i am not in love with her??

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      • Terence_the_viking
        11 years ago

        Possibly.

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        • pappusharma
          11 years ago

          So why is it so hard to even spend a day without hearing her voice??

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          • Terence_the_viking
            11 years ago

            Dunno infatuation?

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            • pappusharma
              11 years ago

              I think i got my answer, yup maybe it is infatuation.. But the thing is my heart is not ready to accept any other thing, it says that it's love.. should i give more time to understand what exactly it is?

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