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is it normal? i have been feeling lack of motivation, self esteem issues, not feeling like doing anything, procrastinating on doing fairly important tasks even after the due date, and being either too on the edge or having a 'whatever i dont care' response to other things. is it normal or are these symptoms of some mental illness i should be aware of?
Look up the current definition of depression: https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/depression/what-are-the-dsm-5-depression-criteria/?
If 2 or more symptoms persist for 2 weeks or more that's depression.
I understand that a lot. Life is hard and unfair and sometimes you have to deal with stuff alone. I know it's probably like walking through treacle right now, but try to mix up your day. Make a really interesting packed lunch, wake up at 5am and walk outside whilst it's quiet. Talk to new people, join a dance class, take a shower in the dark. Sometimes you can shrivel up like a flower, and you need to water yourself with self love, new experiences, and exercise. Again, I'm sorry you have been feeling this down, but I know you'll get through it.