Can i please get a guy advice.

18 Comments

I was seeing this guy who I finally give him a chance after a year of not paying attention to him (I didn’t really know him) and he was a gentleman on the first 3 dates but on the last date we had we went first bowling then to go eat at a restaurant, then he invited me to his place and I agreed to see what his true intentions were and I was right he just wanted sex but before having a kiss I stop him and asked him what was his true intentions with me, he said to not put a title on it but to get to know each other better. So then I told him I wasn’t looking for just sex and I told him I’ll leave but he said no so we just cuddle the whole night and the next day I left. Will since then he never message me until I saw him at a restaurant and I wasn’t expecting him to be there but we made eye contact and I waved my hand and then he came to talk to me and my friend. He even asked if he could sit down at our table so I let him sit next to me and he was asking us what we did all day and I told him. He was still the same funny guy. I wasn’t really looking at him bc I was nervous but my friend saw that he kept on staring at me the whole time. And he didn’t want to leave but he had to take his guy friend home. Then I just couldn’t take it anymore and told him two days afterwards that we needed to talk in person will he didn’t listen so I just message him. I told him why did he change as in not message me anymore? Why he’s a gentleman in person but on text he completely ignores me. He said I said something to make him change. That was that I wanted something serious and he thought he wanted that too but he realize that he’s not ready for a relationship. So I just told him thank you for being honest and telling me. (I told him from the beginning that I don’t like playing games) so then he text me back saying this is where you decide to stop texting me, thinking I’m a bad person thank you 😢. I didn’t even reply back... but till today he continues to look at my social media (Snapchat stories) and I don’t know why he would if he’s the one that ended it. So my question is why would a guy that dump you continue to look at your sc stories? And why would he say he’s not ready for a relationship?

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Comments ( 18 )
  • nikkiclaire
    5 years ago

    I'm a girl but this guy sounds all right. You guys sound pretty young so he may just be confused. All guys want sex, that's tots normal but it seems as if he respects your boundaries. He may feel guilty for wanting sex. If you like him don't give up on him just let him know the pace at which you'd like the relationship to progress.

    He likes you and it's normal.

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    • Tato
      5 years ago

      I might have been critical in my judgment. You have a good point, so I hope OP sees it.

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        5 years ago

        I saw it 🙌🏼 Thank you so much for ya’a comments :)

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      Yeah I’m 24 and he’s 22 so he’s definitely younger than me. True I haven’t met a guy that doesn’t want sex unless he’s gay. Yeah I feel like the last message he sent me proves that he cares about what I think about him and he’s upset at myself for probably just wanting sex. I Would love to continue talking to him but I don’t wanna be the first one to message him. I don’t wanna come off as desperate after he ended it.

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      • Tato
        5 years ago

        If you really wanna talk to him, just tell him you needed some time to think about it, and that's why you haven't texted back. Which is true.
        Just don't pressure yourself into doing something you don't want to.

        Anyways, the ball's in your court. Good luck.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          5 years ago

          What exactly should I text him? What should be the first message I send him? What you mean by i needed some time to think about it? Think about what? Why he ended? Also he has trust issues as his exes cheated on him before.

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          • Tato
            5 years ago

            I meant time to think about your situation with him in general and if you should trust him. Explain yourself to him. It's really up to you, so I don't really know what you should say.

            Make sure to be clear about what you want. If he's willing to accept it, you two can proceed. And if not, just leave it behind.

            GL

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              5 years ago

              Will I send him a message saying if you want you can still talk to me, we can start over and just be friends? He replied back “will you’re the one whom stop talking to me. I didn’t do anything. You told me to be honest always and that’s why you stop talking to me.” I said “I don’t feel like I’m the one that changed but you but it’s ok how do you feel of us being friends? I don’t wanna lose your friendship.” Then he said look at the previous message you’re the one that stop talking. And yeah I don’t have any problem with that ☺️.” Then I said how was your day and we started having longer random conversations. So what you think about this?

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  • Tato
    5 years ago

    Guess if he can't have you in bed, he'll have you in his head. And your SC is a good material for that.
    The fact he won't be serious with you doesn't mean he doesn't find you sexualy attractive. And if he has a source of your pictures, why not use it?

    If you tell a guy who likes you you're willing to enter a relationship with him and he backs out, it's either one of these reasons: he realized he went ahead of himself/ misinterpreted his feelings, or he was never looking for something serious to begin with. I can't tell you what's on his mind, but I have a feeling it's the latter.

    Whatever you decide, tread carefully. It's easy to get caught up in emotions.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      Thank you so much for your comment. You did open up my eyes to think that maybe you’re right that he finds me sexually attractive so he’ll look at my pictures to think about me. Yeah getting caught up in my feelings suck but honesty when he broke up with me I didn’t really cry nor was actually upset at him. I was disappointment at the situation. He’s by far the best guy I’ve dated in terms of how he treats me and how good looking he was (is). But I’m used to guys telling me I’m a good girl and deserve better that this breakup didn’t felt anything. Also, I’m not even talking to him anymore, sometimes I do look at his stories. Do you think within time he’ll talk talk to me again?

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      • Tato
        5 years ago

        Nikkiclaire gave a good advice. Her perspective is different than mine, but she's right.
        He seems to still be interested, so if he approaches you again, do as nikkiclaire said and let him know what your pace is.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          5 years ago

          Yeah she does have a good point. But I don’t want to be the first one to message him since he’s the one that ended it first.

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    Block him

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  • leggs91200
    5 years ago

    Obviously you are not willing to put out so he is probably not wanting to waste time on you. Why should he?

    If a man doesn't get laid by the third date, he tends to get frustrated and lose hope. He doesn't want to hear a bunch of bullshit about "Let's wait until..." No man wants to be a cuck.
    The main reason for that is if a woman wants to have sex, it is going to happen sooner rather than later.

    That is why some women will date a guy who she never fucks, they break up, and the very next guy she is with, she sleeps with him the first day they know each other.

    Long story short - Unless you are willing to give up the goods TODAY, he won't bother wasting neither of your times. You are under no obligation to sleep with anyone but do not expect potential lovers to wait around if you do not hop to it.

    ONE last thing - it is possible he may have completely lost interest in trying to sleep with you. Like you could lay on his bed spread eagle and he would be like, "No thanks".

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