Can extended isolation make you more willing to be with either sex?

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To preface, i haven't had real social interaction for so long. I've said things, talked to people, and generally interacted when i could. But not freely or with any great detail. I haven't been able to tell anyone how i feel or what i want or what i need or anything deeper than the most basic small talk for what's going on years. I feel like i'm being looked right through and i feel like i'm just talking at them. I feel so alone. I used to have an idea of what i would and wouldn't, could and couldn't love, but I don't even care anymore. I want to be held and touched in so many different ways it's not even funny. I just need someone. I know it reads like a cheap romance novel but it's so overwhelming i don't know what to do... I'm trying to act calm and do what i need to but internally i'm begging for so much from no one in particular.

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Comments ( 7 )
  • JonathanOo
    6 years ago

    Some of us are in the same boat. I feel ya (just not literally)

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  • Maid_in_Pink
    6 years ago

    The feeling of loneliness can get to people, it's ok to feel that way but it's not ok to dwell in it. There are plenty of people just like you that are longing for the sweet touch of another and many aren't looking for love. Humans are very much social creatures and the drive to fulfill that social need might make you feel like you'd be with anyone but when it comes down to it you're only going to be with the kind of person you want to be with.

    However, that being said, the person you want to be with can change. Humans are born without bounds. There is no birth gene that controls gender or sexuality or anything like that, we grow up and be who we are happy being.

    Keeping that in mind when you are in isolation there is a possibility that your views are less influenced by social culture and the real you can come out. It's not like you were born gay or anything, all humans are born with the capabilities of being whatever sexuality they prefer and you define yourself through time but social interactions do dictate your sexuality to some extent by way of peer acceptance. So once you've removed yourself from that you can feel free to express yourself a bit more than before. And yes, humans do love contact from other humans and even if you are sitting there now thinking, "Oh, I don't care if it's a guy or a girl" somewhere inside yourself you know that you would prefer it be one or the other unless you're like me and you're completely bi-sexual.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      Orientation is not a social thing. You just feel towards one sex or the other and you want to be with the one you are't completely turned off by. It's not the "real me coming out" it just feels like i'd take anything anyone would give me. I do prefer one but it's been so long i would still be happy with the other.

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      • Maid_in_Pink
        6 years ago

        Orientation itself isn't, but actualization and realization of it can very much be deterred or enforced by social aspects, especially during formative years.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          6 years ago

          I've always kind of been the type that doesn't care what anyone thinks. I always made my own decisions and didn't care for approval. I just... don't normally feel like this towards women but now that feeling is aimless, it has no direction and i feel like it'd just take hold in whatever latches on first... I don't know if i'd be able to keep the relationship going but i honestly don't care how long it lasts... I'll be happier with whatever i get.

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          • Maid_in_Pink
            6 years ago

            I think at this point you're towards the spectrum where it's leaning toward like an actual mental disorder. Something I was hoping it wasn't.

            I want to reinforce that while I've taken almost all my psychology classes I'm not a registered psychotherapist or analyst.

            When you face isolation it can do a lot to you, especially true isolation. It can drive your brain to do some pretty catastrophic things to you. In some cases the effects of what we can do to ourselves are just as bad or worse than another person can do to us. Self Abuse is a real thing and if you've spent some time during isolation believing that you are somehow less or nor worth something it can change a lot about how you feel. You might not even realize the effects it's had on you but you very well may have driven yourself towards this feeling you have, the aimless love as you put it. You are craving something so deeply that you don't care where you get it because you have made yourself believe that you don't care. This is the same feeling that puts people in abusive relationships and drives them into lives of loneliness.

            I know it doesn't mean much coming from me since I'm just a random weirdo on the internet but I have never once met a person that didn't deserve love. Real Love, from someone who loves them and someone that they love. I'm going to tell you not to sell yourself short and that you are worth it and you're wonderful and amazing and that no matter how long you've been alone there is someone out there for you. Someone who is going to love you and is going to treat you fantastically and you're going to love them and that love is just out there waiting for you.

            You're not going to believe me. But you don't need to, you know, somewhere deep down inside of yourself you know that you are amazing. Just let that amazing out, let it believe and go out and meet people and find that special someone that makes you happy. It doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl, as long as you love them and they love you, that's where happiness starts. You might have a few relationships, some good, some bad, but getting to that perfect one will happen.

            So keep your chin up and let that beautiful smile shine. If you want to find love, It's all about you and meeting someone else and it's a lot easier to do that when you have the confidence to believe in yourself that you are worth every minute of love that you get and that they are worth every moment you give.

            Yeah and some people are cruel and they are heartless and if you already don't care much what other people think then you can just use that. It doesn't matter how cruel they are, if they are that bad you don't want their love and they don't deserve yours.

            Find someone who is worth yours and you wont feel aimless, you'll feel whole.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              6 years ago

              Being lonely doesn't make me stupid, i'm not going to shack up with an alcoholic who beats me or someone twice my age just because i'm lonely... As needy as i am common sense is still on the table and i know how to say no.
              True love is a fairy tale, you just have to make shit work...

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