Can boys be boys and girls be girls?

86% Normal

I like to think my wife and I are good parents and are a good team. But my wife has recently been trying to get our 7 year old girl to play with our sons toy trucks and wants her to get into cub scouts when she can. And she wants our 9 year old boy to take dancing lessons with her sister. She also is trying to get him to play house with his sister and her dolls. Those are just a couple examples.

She thinks it’s good to have them have cross gender interests. I think giving them a variety of exposure is good too. Problem is neither of ours kids are interested in it. But my wife still pushes them. Bottom line is our daughter just likes traditional girl things and our boy boy things.

I don’t know if their reaction is from an inate difference in their genders or learned from friends. Doesn’t matter to me, just want them to be their own people. Is it normal that I want to ask my wife to ease up on the pushing them to do things they don’t like?

Voting Results

86% Normal

Based on 28 votes (24 yes)

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Comments ( 20 )

charli.m

5 years ago

You're right, it should be their choice, not forced. Discussing it with your wife is really important, as with 100% of parenting, it helps to be on the same page.

Maybe she's not aware just how much she's pushing it onto the kids. Sometimes, you push kids to try new experiences to broaden their abilities and interests. Nothing wrong with that - to a point, of course. Maybe your wife is focussing on that and doesn't see how uninterested the kids are.

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CozmoWank

5 years ago

Some people try a little too hard to push the whole gender equality agenda while ignoring differences. Why not cultivate the child's interest? People should nurture and help the child develop into the person they are instead of forcing them to be either gender neutral or hyper masculine or hyper feminine.

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JellyBeanBandit

5 years ago

I agree with you, she shouldn't force them to play with things they don't want. I get she doesn't mean any harm in it though. It is a good idea to get them a few toys that are usually for the opposite gender (and gender neutral toys) so as not to confine them into restrictive categories of what they're "supposed" to like, but she should then just let them decide what they like. Forcing a girl to like boy toys is just as bad as forcing her to like girl toys.

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LornaMae

5 years ago

https://mamabearapologetics.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/funny-toy-cars-doll-bed-girl.jpg

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- Shackleford96
  
  5 years ago
  
  Haha, that gave me a good snicker :)
  
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- CozmoWank
  
  5 years ago
  
  So true!
  lol
  
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SwickDinging

5 years ago

When it comes to how they spend their leisure time, IE toys and dancing, it seems needlessly overbearing to force them to do things they don't enjoy. They get enough of that in school and having to follow you around the shops/garden centre etc. As long as you are presenting them with a variety of options just let them do what they want.

They have their whole adulthood to spend doing boring things that they hate.

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McBean

5 years ago

You need limits. Teach the boys to cook a few things, teach the girls to change oil. That's enough cross gender bullshit.

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bigbudchonga

5 years ago

"Problem is neither of ours kids are interested in it. But my wife still pushes them." Welcome to 2018. I think it'll probably be better coming from your kids. She might just quote the party line if you ask her to stop.

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- Shackleford96
  
  5 years ago
  
  party line?
  
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  - bigbudchonga
    
    5 years ago
    
    "Guys can like girly thing." "What's wrong with him having dance lessons" "Oh do you want me to pull her out of cubs because you think women shouldn't be in it" those types of things.
    
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brutus

5 years ago

Your wife is stoopid.

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IrishPotato

5 years ago

Cultivate your kids interests while opening up their possibilities, but don't enforce anything.

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KeddersPrincess

5 years ago

I agree.

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KeddersPrincess

5 years ago

I agree with you. I think you should tell her to ease up.

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2weird

5 years ago

Let girls be girls and boys be boys!

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JD777

5 years ago

Kids take after what they see more than what they’re told to do.

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- leggs91200
  
  5 years ago
  
  Sort of.
  
  My observation is that kids will pick up their parents' bad habits, but not usually the good habits.
  
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TerriAngel

5 years ago

You're either a troll or you have no balls.
Which is it?
You decide how your kids are raised.
WTF did your ho cuckold you?
Stand up on your hind legs and be a man.
No wonder if your kids are confused.
It's up to YOU to set the example.

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- charli.m
  
  5 years ago
  
  Excuse you?
  
  What did you say not days ago about how you would not be fit to raise kids? Cos you were right for once.
  
  How vile are you to suggest that a man should control his wife and family and that a woman has no input into how her own children are raised? And to belittle his masculinity if he doesn't behave in such an awful, abusive way?
  
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Can boys be boys and girls be girls?