Breaking up with a girl because of her kids, is it normal?

90% Normal
6 Comments

I have been dating this girl for 3 months and she has two kids. Their Dads don't visit so I have no trouble in that department and I love kids so it's usually not an issue. The issue is that while I think this girl is amazing, her kids are little demons.

We've been kicked out of two restaurants and four movie theatres as well as a water park because her kids are so ill behaved. They are 3 and 5 years of age and they treat everything as a play ground and rebuke authority. Every time I bring it up to her she says one of a few things. She says that she can't handle it right now or that it's their father's job but obviously they are not around or she gets very upset and says that she is tired of people judging her and that she does the best she can. In any case she does not react at all to their ill behavior.

She is talking about putting them on ADHD medication. I don't agree with it but they are her kids. I have dated single moms before but this is too much. Her kids steal and break things, they curse her out and everybody else and I will have to deal with that if I want to see her seriously and exclusively so I'm not going to bother.

Is it normal to break up with a woman because her kids are ill behaved?

Voting Results
90% Normal
Based on 152 votes (137 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • KeddersPrincess
    11 years ago | pl

    I would never GET INTO a relationship with someone who has kids.

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  • GingerWaterDemon
    11 years ago

    Unfortunately it is normal. My dad was a single father of 3 girls and my youngest sister was a holy terror. She would purposely run my dads girlfriends away, and it was sad because eventually my dad gave up and he ended up being alone because of it. And he wasn't a bad looking guy! Girls really liked him.

    If you really like this woman I think that you should sit her down and tell her that she needs to get a handle on her kids while they are still young. Don't do it right after an episode, or anything like that so she doesn't think that it's a momentary thing. You need to have a good talk with her about all of it. Let her know that you really like her, but you can't see yourself continuing in a relationship with her if things don't change. Don't make her feel like she has to choose between you and her kids though! You have to pick your wording very carefully. Tell her that you do agree that they probably need a father figure, but that your relationship just isn't in a place yet where you feel comfortable stepping in. I assume that this is the case, and that you don't expect to be a third party forever.

    So yeah, that's my advice... that and maybe ride it out a bit longer and give her a chance. Good luck!

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  • FocoUS
    11 years ago

    I'm a bit more concerned about the kids than your relationship with her. I'm also against drugging kids that are 3 to 5.

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  • nightmare28
    11 years ago

    I think you made the right choice, you can clearly see that this woman is not a good mother and if you and her would ever had kids they would turn out just the same. Instead of doing her job and disciplining her kids she wants to take the easy way and put them on pills. There must be a reason why the father doesn't want to do anything with her and the children, I'm sure she told you what a lowlife he is, but remember that every story got 3 sides, hers, his and the truth.

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  • taylorsage25
    9 years ago

    I would not leave this woman and her children, those children are testing you to see if you are in it for the long hall. You both need family consoling, these children need a father figure. If you are not in it for real you need to leave completely, relationships are hard, but if you stay and try your best there could be a great emotional reward for you as a person helping a family and maybe thoughts children will love you. You do not have to worry about an ex .Children need love and respect, plus they have been through a lot they need a loving father, plus disipline, not hitting or yelling,but rewards and punishments,but you need to discuse this with the woman one on one she has to be there for you. You need to go over this together as a family with a perfessonal. Before you get involved with a woman if she has childrne she is a package deal.

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  • tehfoxyfire
    11 years ago

    Personally I would NEVER EVER be with someone who already has kids. Automatic deal breaker.

    Anyway it is normal for you to want to step away from all of this, especially if they are not even your kids to begin with and she is not responsive our receptive to either their unacceptable behavior . A good mother would know when to discipline her kids and not allow them to have control or rebuke her authority. She seems pretty emotionally weak herself, the whole issue with the father.

    Think about it if in this short amount if time you have gotten a taste of how stressful life will be with her kids, you will probably be one of those resentful disgruntled couple in the future, is it worth it? Furthermore will you even have a say in the discipline it will you just continue to observe

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