Boyfriend never wants to talk?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 2 years. We are both adults (I’m in my late 20s) but he is my first real long-term relationship so I sometimes don’t know what is normal or acceptable or what I can reasonably expect out of a relationship.

He seems to only want me for his physical pleasures. I want to talk and share my feelings, learn more about his dreams for the future, etc. He always tells me that women care more about that stuff than men do, but still, it leaves me puzzled and hurt because I feel like he doesn’t care about ME, just about my body. When I have a job interview and want to tell him about it, or I have just composed a new song (I’m a part-time musician) and want him to listen to it, or when I try to initiate a conversation, he’ll just say, “That’s good,” or “Oh,” and that’s the end of it. When we don’t see each other for a whole week, the only thing he wants to do is take a shower with me or have sex—never talk and hear about my week or tell me about his. If we aren’t doing that or making out, he’ll just turn on the TV so he doesn’t talk to me. Sometimes this has made me cry in front of him, and then he says "You're so pretty," when what I really want is to not feel ignored.

Am I expecting too much? What can I reasonably expect from a boyfriend? Is this just a difference between men and women where men just don’t care to listen to and understand their girlfriends?

Voting Results
10% Normal
Based on 134 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 17 )
  • rayst

    I hope everything will work out fine for you :)

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  • (:sweet:)

    Hes an ass. Forget him and move on

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  • KeKe313

    Ur boyfriend may not wanna be ur boyfriend. Dump him please. He's a whore.

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  • Hmm he might just be with you for the sex. Honestly, I love listening to my girlfriend, I LOVE to hear about what's on her beautiful mind, what she feels and every little other details. I'm not afraid to tell her how I feel and what I think but I'm not the talker really but I do express myself to her regularly. I do put her in front of everything that I can except obvious things like work where I need to go for money (boo). I think your boyfriend might not love you because he can't even have a simple discussion with you. I think you should have a serious talk with him to see if he's on the same page as you. It's really crappy for you in my opinion that he's that way. Good luck, I hope you can get a serious talk with him.

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  • regisphilbin

    clearly not right

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  • kellstar79

    Sounds like a douche to me! It's normal for some males to not talk as much as females but not to that extent! I'd leave him if he doesn't listen

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  • assh0le

    You probably only use your mouth for one thing, that's why. Try using it for something else and he might show more interest!

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    • kit291

      i take it your single lol you do make me laugh though... you say such random stuff.

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      • assh0le

        LOLZ! ;)

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  • danooyl

    Is he a computer addict? Or has a special hobby? If he is, I can justify what he's doing. Not saying he's right.
    "To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men."

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress

    You have to find a balance.

    Sometimes talking too much is bloody annoying to others. I know, because I tend to talk too much.

    However if he's not willing to share your life other than sex... it's time to reevaluate the relationship.

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    • Psychological

      In other words- Dump Him.

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  • ravensuichiro

    obviously no..
    this guy's a free load to your heart girl..
    find a guy that really deserves you..

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  • traider753

    Thank you to everyone for your responses! I guess I've kept hoping or trying to convince myself that he wouldn't have stayed in the relationship this long unless he "loved" me. I appreciate the support and encouragement to make sure my needs are being met, too.

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  • Ldizzy1234

    That's really sad. No, you aren't expecting too much, but it really does sound like he just wants you for sex. And if that's not it, then maybe he just has a problem with opening up to you, or he might really have nothing to share.

    If sex is the only thing that's keeping the relationship going, then you should just get out of that fast, because if you were planning to stay with this guy for the rest of your life, the attraction on both sides, might die down. Then what is there left? If you guys don't have communication, think about how much harder it's gonna be in the future.

    I personally think, that you probably can do way better, then just a guy who wants you for showers and steamy sex. But if you really wanna know if thats all he wants in the relationship, ask him. You should be like, "I have to ask you a personal question, and I want you to be honest..." maybe that will wake him up to talk.

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  • rayst

    No this is not a normal difference between men and women. He uses stereotypes to not care for you. A real lover will be interested in what you say, even if he's no big talker (thats normal). The fact that he loves your body is great, but he has to give his love to other aspects of yourself. If you told him and even cried about it and he hasn't changed anything, i say find some1 who will be genuinely interested in you.

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  • CDmale4fem

    I agree with Momonator, Try something say for a week or two. If he approaches you wanting sex of some sort, tell him your not feeling good and he will have to wait till your feeling better. OR Just flat refuse to accomodate his selfish wants and desires. In a relationship if things are good, things should feel good no matter what. Trust, Respect, common courtesies. If those things are not currently available in your current model and design, I VERY SERIOUSLY SUGGEST YOU GO SHOPPING FOR A NEW MODEL AND FOR SURE A DIFFERENT MAKE. A Man should make his woman feel that she is needed, wanted, loved, respected, trusted. If all your getting is his idea of a quickie in the shower for him, I am surprised you havent packed your stuff already. REMEMBER THIS
    "SOMEONE CAN ONLY DO TO YOU WHAT YOU WILL ALLOW THEM TO DO"

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