Boss told me if i don't smile more, i'm out...iin?

23% Normal
11 Comments

I have depression because I'm dealing with a very serious chronic illness and I told him that's why I don't smile a lot.

He said it's bringing people down because I look sad all the time. I said I wish I were happy but no one can be happy with what I have because I'm seriously ill and his response was, "All you have to do is smile and joke around. Everyone gets down sometimes, just smile. When you come to work, put your problems behind you and just be happy. If you're telling me you can't smile more or joke around, you might have to prepare yourself for being let go my dear"

Is he serious? Is this normal? This is my head boss. I work in an office building doing paperwork and emails.

Voting Results
23% Normal
Based on 13 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • Darktown
    8 years ago

    Back around 2010 i worked in a high net worth financial call center. I remember one of the douchebag managers told me that my "tone" wasnt good enough and that i needed to improve. At the time i didnt even know i had depression so i didnt even really know what the fuck he meant. I tried to talk more upbeat and stuff but he kept telling me i needed to improve. Eventually he just gave up on mentioning it to me. Any workplace that forces you to act all perfect like that is not a good workplace. People should be allowed to be depressed at work. Now i am self employed and i actually am far more productive because i can just be my depressed self if i want to

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  • Mk4900
    8 years ago

    Postmanloverr seems to be a bit skeptical in your report of being ill.
    I am sorry that you are feeling sad and that you are reporting that you have a serious illness. I don't know if you work in the USA, but there are laws to protect you. Such as if you have worked at your place of business for more then a year then you should be protected and you can use Family Sick Leave for upto 12 weeks with 60% of your pay. This is only good after you use up all your sick/vacation time.
    Also you could file a complaint with your HR person about your boss.
    You could also contact the labor board because if you are diagnosed with a mental illness then some of them are protected under the disabilty act. You just have to inform your HR department that you have a disability.
    Good luck and I hope things get better for you.

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    • billygoatgruff
      8 years ago

      Family medical leave act (FMLA) does not guarantee you 60% pay. It is a without pay leave by law. A particular company may institute a 60% pay during leave on their own, you may also have employer provided sick time that you can use while on family medical leave, but the law guarantees no pay. All it guarantees is you can't be fired while on the leave.

      You can get FMLA approved on an intermittent basis for illnesses that are chronic with reoccurrences at any time. Doing so would allow you to call out sick as often as you want, as well as come in late or leave early, so long as you don't exceed 12 months worth of time in a year, with pretty much no reprecussions. It would be wise for the OP to apply for FMLA in that form, assuming the OP meets the one year full time qualification.

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    • postmanloverr
      8 years ago

      yeah ssory I assumbed he meant he just had deprression, and i didnt meant to be rude just it didn't make sense to me, didnt see the part about chronic illness, still a little skeptical because the boss seems like hes shouldn't be a boss unles he was just making a bad joke.but i agree with all this what you said

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  • billygoatgruff
    8 years ago

    Most states in the US have at will employment which means you can be fired for any reason with or without cause, so long as the reason doesn't violate federal laws designed to protect against discrimination and harassment.

    You may actually fall into the latter group and quality for protection under the Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA). It requires employers to make reasonable accommodations as long as they do not interfere with work performance or put undue hardship on the employer.

    As you work in an office and do not interact in a customer service situation, not being required to smile is a very small accommodation to request. There are limits to how ADA applies to depression, but the accommodation you are requesting is so minor that I doubt any court would rule against you.

    So as silly as it sounds I would go to your doctor and get a note that says that smiling is a hardship for you and turn it in to your human resources Dept. They can always make another reason up to fire you anyway, but they will likely be scared to for fear of a lawsuit once you have documented the situation. This is especially true if you work for a large corporation as they tend to be serious about labor laws and very weary of lawsuits that draw negitave press.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Thank you, I appreciate this. I never tried to get disability, even though I have been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, depression and chronic fatigue syndrome. I'll try to have someone help me with this. No one understands how difficult it is and that I am doing the impossible by just forcing myself out each day. I struggle just to stand so it's a big deal for me.

      It's true, I don't need to smile because I'm not serving customers anyway and even if so, I shouldn't have to if I have a disability note.

      Thanks again, I appreciate this response as it was very comforting.

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  • KingTermite
    8 years ago

    Completely normal, no one wants to be around a sad sack all day. Smile, Sunshine.

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  • wistfulmaiden
    8 years ago

    First of all, I'd get a doctor to send your boss a note about your condition along with advice that firing someone with depression would get his ass sued.
    Second( if I were you) I'd go around with a big demented smile like the joker till it creeped everybody out. I'm sure your boss would prefer slightly glum to Mr Sardonicus.

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  • postmanloverr
    8 years ago

    while i agree that is a bit douchey if serious, you don't have to BE happy, you just have to ACT it. speaking from experience no one really gives a shit if youre depressed, retarded, whatever, you're expected to have some common courtesy if you want to fit in society, it may be bullshit to you but that's just how the world works and if it's so bad then why do you even work there? why dont you get some pills or something? to be honest this storry seemskind of exaggerated at lest. "I said I wish I were happy but no one can be happy with what I have because I'm seriously ill" come on man.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      I have chronic fatigue syndrome. I am bedridden when not at work. Getting out of bed takes 3 and a half hours. I can't go out with friends, have no energy. I can't exercise as my doctor says it's bad on my heart, I can't breathe right, I feel weak. I can't stand up for more than 10 minutes straight without passing out. My memory is gone. I can't remember anything past 2 minutes so I have to take a billion notes. My eyes burn like you wouldn't believe. My legs feel like jello with a 200 pound weight on each foot.

      Try to be happy with that. I am not exaggerating and I can not smile. I have no energy to do anything. I never smile or laugh at home. I can't yell, my boss knows that because it's bad for my heart.

      I tried 3 depression medications, I see 4 doctors, none work because it's a physical condition. I also have migraines 24/7. So I get about 2-3 hours of sleep per day, every day for years. I have not had a single "okay" day in years and not been out of my house other than to work or to a store (which I collapsed in and the ambulance was called, so never went to a store again).

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      • postmanloverr
        8 years ago

        oh, okay sorry. well then I am pretty sure you can get legal about this with the whole EOE thing if he trys anny more stuff. but maybe he was just joking. he did know all this when he hired you right? or at least some people there know who can back you up? and why aren't you on disability?

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