Bondage and diapers, iin?

I have a big thing I do. On weeks when my parents are away, I hire an adult nanny to come the next morning. That night, I put on an adult diaper, put in a pacifier and tie it really tight in my mouth with heavy duty rope, and tie my ankles and wrists to the corners of my bed. When I wake up, the nanny unties me and gets me out of bed. She changes my diaper, ties my hands behind my back, lays my belly down on a stool, ties me down on the stool, and removes the diaper. She spanks me super hard with a paddle then puts the diaper on and continues to spank me. Then, she shackles me to a wall in my basement and keeps me there as a prisoner. I stay there sucking on my diaper, getting force fed by her, and filling my diaper. She changes the diaper and leaves me there until my parents will come home the next day. I'm 19 and is this normal?