Bisexual, married 2 a man, want 2 be w/ a woman

I am sorry you had to read some of the comments above which are judgmental and hurtful. "You are not worth it" is absolutely not true. Your feelings are valid no matter what they are, and you deserve happiness and love.
As far as "are you normal?"- absolutely! I am female bisexual married to a man. I frequently find myself lusting after women, as well as men- my husband lusts after women all the time!! I can too!
As far as what you should do. I cannot tell you that. You are the expert of your own life and of your own feelings and you have to make decisions which only YOU know the best answer to.
My story is that my husband knows I am bisexual and nurtures my sexuality by buying me/watching with me girl/girl porn. It is a useful tool for stimulating us both.
I don't know what is best for you, but you do! What I feel like you might be saying to us, though, is that you might be feeling that you are attracted only to women. If that is true you may need to think about what you want out of a relationship and out of your life.
If you feel you can tell him about your feelings and that would help your relationship, you should. As far as encouraging a threesome- I feel personally that that is something outside of feeling bisexual or lesbian, but something that people do if they are ready for a threesome and not an exploration of sexual orientation. The feelings that a threesome bring within and outside of your marriage may bring more confusion.
If you don't feel like you can tell him honestly you may need to decide what you should do if you you can't live with those strong feelings (which I commiserate with) and not tell him. I believe that you (and only you) can make the decision which is best for you.
I hope this helps.

Wow, you've had years of comments and some are quite tough! I'm sorry to hear how torn you are and can relate somewhat. All I can say is to follow your heart, be honest with your husband and don't worry about what anybody else thinks. People are quick to judge but only you have an accurate picture of what your life is all about. Living a lie will make you miserable. Sometimes people make mistakes and sometimes hearts get broken. But this is life and you must be true to yourself and respect yourself and those you love. Trust your instincts, if something you are doing doesn't feel right, it's probably not. Good luck with your situation and I hope your life remains happy and healthy. Take care.

I would try to talk about it with him.

Many men do not mind if a bisexual wife hooks up with a girl from time to time.

And if you're looking for a real relationship with a woman, it looks like you might be out of luck. It seems to get what you truly want, you'd have to split up.
I hope all goes well.

talk to him about it, maby he will be more gental. or even ask him if you could have some girls night outs?

Seems to me like you need to work on your marriage, because you two more than likely have gievn up and are soon to be letting go. I wouldn't suggest a 3- way, almost always when you try that it messes up your relationship even more than it was from the beginning.

First of all... ignore all the comments about having a three-some. I know we are in a modern world now, but there are still some things about marriage that should be respected, and that is loyalty to your husband and your children.

Bringing other women into your sexual life is opening a can of worms in your situation. If your husband agrees, and you do it, you're going to start wanting to do it all the time. Soon you will ignore your husband and eventually hurt him because it'll be pretty apparent you don't really want to have sex with him but with women only.

These are all things you should have considered before making such a serious commitment. And no, excuses like your mother wanted grandchildren isn't going to cut it when you've entered a contract. Think about your children, think about your husband, and think about the commitment you have to your family. If your husband is a good person, he loves you, and respects you, I don't know why there should be any reason to give up a good man just for a fling. If your husband is somehow abusive, that's another story. Otherwise, you created children with this man. That's a conscious decision you made, and you have to put them first before anyone now. If there is nothing wrong with your marriage, I see no reason why you should ruin it.

I totally understand where you're coming from, I can't relate, but I can listen to your story with an open mind, and my initial reaction was to ask you if you've discussed this with your husband? I'm sorry you felt pressured to marry a man to please your Mom, I think that can be common as well. Women do have a special kinship, and it was beautiful how you described that. I really hope that you can be happy, and that hopefully your husband will understand. I guess sooner is better than later to tell him, or else this will destroy your mind, body, and soul. Good luck sweety

first of all, i want to thank heaven that there are still normal people out there--mermaid princess and digital man, i mean you ;) it really gets on my nerves to see almost everyone talking about threesomes, divorces, and hell knows what else as if these were normal, everyday things that evrybody should be doing. this is so ridiculous. all of you, get a life. and some morals. just because we're in the 21st century doesn't mean that EVERYTHIG is suddenly ok. there should still be some values, some thongs that count. wake up, people, quit thinking that saying "ok" to everything makes you modern and great. it doesn't, in fact, it makes you a lot more backwards than the people of the generations before you. and you, author of this whole pathetic article, whatever your name is, go get an appointment with a psychiatrist, 'cuz that's what you--and most of the people who commented your story--really need the most. and no, i'm not any kind of bigot, i'm just honest. and trying to cling to a few values that once meant something. peace.

I believe a marriage should consist of 1 woman and 1 man...but if you are not happy then you are living a lie. I think you should do what makes you happy, if there are children involved I would make sure they are taken care of first (mentally & emotionally) they often think a failed marriage is their fault somehow. Not sure how you will explain it to the Mom or parents they might understand or you could be disowned, guess all of that will have to be thought about. Good luck!

also, the comments about the importance of marriage vows and god irritate me

you tell someone u love them when you want to or you think you do or whatever

how is saying it in some stupid ceremony more important

staying in a marriage when u dont feel the love is more of a lie than anything

first of all i know u know u dont want to have a threesome(im guessing) u want to feel close to another woman not flaunt the experience in front of or share with a man you arent in love with. i feel like i really identify with and understand everything uve said and it makes me sad u felt like u had to go through those motions the people around u were comfortable with.

in my oppinion cheating isnt right or wrong the same as your feelings arent right or wrong the same as making the maybe mistake of marrying this man was right or wrong
the only thing that matters is the amount of time u continue to allow this man and urself to live a life that isnt fulfilling to the both of you..

do what you feel is right and be as honest as you can as soon as you can thats all i can say
and good luck:S

I think there is too much you are keeping from your husband. Its time for some honesty in your relationship, the lack of which will kill your marriage more than anything else.

Tell him you're bi and want to have fun. He's not gunna divorce you over your orientation.

If these feelings were going through your head when you got married then you shouldnt have went through with it. You shouldnt live your life for other people such as your mother. If you dont love him anymore and you want something different with your life then spare him the prolonged pain and end it now before you end up with kids or anything else that will tie you two together any longer.

Maybe he wants a threesome talk to him about it

ask him if he wants 2 have a 3som with another girl, that way u wont feel like cheating and u get to b with a girl aswell.

3sum?

Im sure you could talk to him about this and most men would like 2 women. If you dont want to talk about it just set it up with one of your friends and make it look like a normal 3 some it will put spark back in your marriage and improve things all around

Ok, so I have to be honest. I seriously love to eat pussy but my husband has no clue. If I had a threesome with him and another woman he would try to make it all about him. When I eat pussy I want it to be for me. Like you, I ate pussy long before I had ever been with a man. I love cock. I really do. But it is such a turn on for me to lick another female while she is on her knees with her ass (preferably a large ass) in my face. Go for it sweetie.

do youu accept to see him have sex with another woman while you watching ? if yes try to have 3some with him he will be very happy for that im sure, if I were him I will accept 4some

I realise that I'm 4years too late for this but I would have loved to help and hope everything has worked out! I hope everyone is happy aswell!:)

Hey Op, a couple things... I think the feelings your having and what your going through are more common than most people would imagine.
To say Men put too much force behind a kiss is a gross generalization and rediculous. Every person kisses differently and some men are clearly capable of a softer \ less "forcefull" kiss.
My first thought like some others was tell your husband a lot of men dont mind their wife hooking up with other women, but the husbands then usually want it to involve them somehow and it sounds like for where your at any sort of threesome type situationwould leave you less than fulfilled and would really only lead to a more unclear and misleading situation for your marriage. The thing thst strikes me most clearly though was in your initial assessment of your current relationship... "I use to love him". Those five words really say more than my longwinded response ever could. Who are you doing any favors by staying at this point? Regardless of which way your sexual interests lead you in theend a large source of your discontentment lies here. And it is certainly not bringing any fulfillment to the life of this man you once loved to remain in discontent and dishonesty... You really both deserve more from life.

Why not have a bi female join relationship,win win for all involved

I wonder if this has changed 3 years a. I hope ur happy now with what Eva route u took :)

for the record... This shouldn't be of any difference if you said you are lusting after another man.

It might be good to see a therapist or marriage counselor about your feelings, especially if you are feeling that you "used to" love your husband but don't anymore. It's good that you plan to stay faithful to him, but you also want to find a way to put your heart back into your marriage and not just go through the motions. If I were your husband I would want a wife who loves me and is excited about me and is not just dreaming about the days of sexual freedom before your marriage. Some men appreciate bisexual women and think they make the best partners, but the majority of men probably feel threatened by it. So it's hard to know how he will feel about it, but if he knows, it may be best to get some counseling before you two grow apart any further.

Normal , I Have A BoyFriend But Do Think About Being With A Girl ?? If That Helps.

im sick of these judgmental people saying all this stuff that you'll go to hell for same sex, you know what if it makes you happy do it, im not gay but i dont have a problem with anyone that is, i have a problem with the people that have a problem with gay's. Now my answer to your question is explain to your mother and husband the situation and tell them your feelings if you want to get divorced or whatever if they dont understand then do it anyway you are your own person your decissions should be made by you and you alone, do what makes you happy and it sounds like being with a woman would do that.

there was a true life episode on tv where a lady had the same problem as you. they resolved it by the husband letting the wife go out and get to know more girls and even dating them. this will fulfill your needs shall i say? but in the end you and your husband both know youre in love so all of that will not even matter.

I'm definitely not too familiar with marriage, but in my opinion, sex is not the most important part of the marriage, if your husband really loves you and you love him, then I don't see why he would mind an open relationship. Just be honest. Plus: I seriously doubt that he'd mind a threesome.

if he is bisexual u could have group sex but if he is gay just have a bit on the side. its naughty but its what you want to do

Well, I cannot identify with you here. Soft hands, a gentle kiss etc.. are all simple things to fix. I am a man, I have soft hands, I also use lotion on my hands and pumice out any rough spots so they always stay SUPER soft for my wife, I also pumice my feet.

I have been told by everybody that I've EVER kissed that I was their best kisser (I have been french-kissing since I was 7). I start out slowly and only caress the girl's tongue with the tip of my tongue why holding her face, I NEVER force myself onto a girl's face or put my tongue half-way down her throat either. Understanding one-another's bodies is something EVERY person has to learn in a relationship because EVERY humans' body is different.

My wife and I know one another's bodies through and through, nobody, no man nor woman knows better because we have taken that time to learn and ask questions (communication). My wife and I have a pretty damn good marriage, have been married 4 years and have a daughter together, but my wife is ALSO bisexual, we have tried swinging but she doesn't like OTHER men, ONLY me and we occasionally have 3-sums. But your relationship is NOWHERE near in the place it needs to be to bring that into it...it WILL only spell disaster I guarantee 110%%

Try COMMUNICATING with your hubby, if he is truly in love with you then he will have no problem fixing the troubled areas of your relationship, perhaps shaving, TEACHING him how you want him to kiss you, having him use hand-lotion etc...

oops sry thoguht this was posted in 06 for some reason.. also my comment wasnt very coherent but i hope i got my points across

just realised i was 2 years late with this comment i hope u still read it and maybe tell me what happened?

Be open to him. It's really great of you not to cheat unlike other people. I think you're strong in someway. You'll survive, eventually. :)

have you ever thought about talkin to him and seeing how he would feel about bringing another girl into the action?
for a 3some or maybe even just for you but i promise that he'll want to watch lol
the key is to be open with him you both need to talk e may actuall understand and tiy 2 may be able to work things out and may even fall in love all over again :)
just rememeber to do what makes YOU happy, not what makes everyone else happy.
xoxoxo

first of all, talk to him about how you feel. if he already knows you're bi, he might understand, and you could work through it.
but if you really don't think you love him anymore, or he's not comfortable with your feelings for women, maybe you should think about ending it. there's no point in staying with someone because you used to love them, it'll make both of you miserable in the long run. if you've always been more attracted to women (which it sounds like in your story) it might not be enough for you to settle in a monogamous relationship with a man.

I read these posts with some interest. The comment:

but if you really don't think you love him anymore, or he's not comfortable with your feelings for women, maybe you should think about ending it.

really burns me up! You stood there in front of God and family and "pledged" your undying fidelity to him until "Death do you part"! What is it with people today who seem to think that commitment doesn't mean anything when things start to go wrong? I like the Mermaid Princess' comments. My wife and I have had many problems and times during our marriage when splitting up may have seemed like an easy way out but neither one of us considered that option because as far as we were both concerned "IT WASN'T AN OPTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" We promised to stay with each other for better or for worse and thats it! It makes married life a lot simpler not having to worry whether my wife is going to leave me from week to week.

Just my 2 cents worth.

Kresp

Man Up.

If i was your husband I wouldn't mind if you had sex with a girl, as long as i either participate or at least watch, and i know its not "emotional".

I'm going to say this. Cheating isn't "cheating" if your partner knows. Its an open relationship. You could talk about your experimenting with women outside the marriage. Or a threesome. It seems like its the sex you miss.

Seems like you weren't completely honest when you married the guy. Most people eventually want to have children, even gay people. But if you are romantically interested in girls (in addition to guys) you are going to want to go back to them when you start wanting to have a family - because you can enjoy a woman sexually, unlike someone who is only attracted to men. So I think it was a bad decision for you to marry him in the first place.

well as a bisexual i say u should tell him maybe u can have some fun in 4-ways or 3somes u never know

Have a threesome? I can't believe these people are suggesting that. Or and If he loves you he'll let you date women and have sex with them? what's up with that? What man or woman in their right mind is going love someone and do that? If he loves you he's going to be heart sick. Have an open marriage? That's not a marriage! If you want out, leave, if you want a woman, that's not fair to him. These responses are just plain evil, what about your innocent husband. If he loves you? What about him? How shameful. If you love him, though it doesn't sound like you do, you'd tell him the truth, but not to go out and have a woman, which is completley wrong, Your married the time for experimenting is over! I'm sorry but this is twisted. I'm repulsed by these comments, I feel sorry for him. Very sorry. IF he lets you do what they say, he's a fool. If he were smart he'd leave you!!! Your not worth it.

Have a threesome. I bet he'll enjoy it too

i think you should just have lots of threesomes. if he's a guy he'll love that.

I think this is just fine. Carefully explain that you like girls and if he is comfortable with it you should ask for a "girls night out" or maybe even a threesome

Please, restrain yourself from having such thoughts ever again. These thoughts are dangerous to your current complete family, as well as your healthy relationship with your husband. Thoughts eventually lead to actions and still having such thoughts running through your mind might cause you to "cheat".
i am glad that you did not cheated for 4 years, and believe me, you could do so for an even longer time, or maybe forever, with some perserverance.
Try to love him. And maybe you just LIKE women, but don't LOVE them? Just that you fail to realise it? Probably?