Birthdays /stink

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5 Comments

Hi
Since the day i was born birthdays have been lonely and stink.
I was adopted so when I was born I was born alone. My adoptive parents were wonderful they celebrated my birthday and loved me very much. But when I was 9 years old my adopt. mother died. Then when I was 18 my adopt. father died. Since then I have been alone.
I was married for 16 years which I had 2 children. During those years I would get a simple happy birthday. Thats it. I always made sure my children and now EX husband always had birthday dinners and birthday cakes and anything special I could do. I always made it a big deal!
I have been remarried now for 6 years to a wonderful man. My children are grown and have lives of there own.
Yesterday was my birthday.I did wake up to a nice note saying Happy birthday Love you so much have a great day. My husband had to work so I spent the day all alone washing laundry, cleaning the typical normal day. I did recieve my 2 phone calls from my children saying happy Birthday mom. (no cards, no flowers just a phone call from 2 grown children. Which that is all I get for mothers day and All holidays as well just a phone call.)
When my husband got home he gave me some money for my birthday which is always nice. he did his normal thing playing on the computer with his gaming buddys. Inbetween saying Its my birthday girl. I love you etc.. I asked him what he wanted to do for dinner he said he didnt care it was my day. SO we sat there for a bit saying what do you want for dinner. After me making suggestions and him to intune to his computer game. I just went into the kitchen and made chicken tenders because I didnt feel like cooking to begin with. then after dinner I made his lunch for work. Meanwhile he played his computer game.We did drink some wine while I went on facebook, myspace.till i was so bored. I went upstairs and took a bath.
When I pulled the water out of the bath he came up stairs. I went to bed. when he got into bed he was like its your birthday watch what ever you want. I did he feel asleep. That was my birthday.
Alone again. The sad part is he asked me weeks ago what I wanted for my birthday I told him to Surprise me.
Even though when he would say oh its soon to be your birthday I would respond its just another day. And he would say no it is not its your special day.
I think what bothers me the most. Is the fact that I was reminded that it was my birthday and it is suppose to be my special day and in the end I really didnt get anything special as usual. Oh well that is my life. I was born alone and I know I will die alone.

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39% Normal
Based on 36 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • walrus101
    11 years ago

    it's part of growing up. he did use the courtesy of giving you money and letting you watch or eat wherever/whatever you want for your bday.

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  • SadMostOfTheTime
    13 years ago

    Do what my coworker always does: Plan your OWN birthday bash!

    She would change the theme EVERY YEAR and invite friends and family to come join the fun. That way YOU'RE happy and people will most likely join, bc it's fun!

    Don't wait for your man to make it special for you. AND plan it in advance....building excitement for you and everyone else. Seriously.

    The last one my coworker did that I remembered was "Casino" night...where she had rented tables and set it in her backyard and some friends helped her spiff it up. They strictly made it no kids and a semi dressed occasion.

    I fell into the same sad thing with my family, until I realized that my man never knew how to celebrate bc his mom never really did that when they were young. So I MAKE every occasion important to teach him the way it's traditionally done. Everyone FINALLY waits till Xmas to open gifts AND has at least birthday cake on THEIR BIRTHDAY.

    For you...if you think you may be alone for the day, invite a friend or take advantage of those "birthday" specials you get at restaurants or spas or clothing stores and whatnot. (Sign up in advance with all the places that offer birthday specials...it's fun to suddenly get tons of offers emailed to you with an e-card). You'll get discounts or free stuff on YOUR DAY! Then get a quick spruce at a makeup counter at your local department store, so when your hubby or family come home, you're ready to party the rest of the evening away (assuming you made strict policy with your hubby not to plan ANYTHING, even work the rest of the day).

    As for your hubby. Make your birthday wishes obvious. Men can't read minds or don't want to guess at it either. Tell him that INSTEAD of money, you want this, this and this to happen. (Like I want roses to be sent to me and for us to go to the so-and-so restaurant and end the night with movies that I wanna see.) And that it would make you TREMENDOUSLY happy if he would do it. Do this until he's "trained" to know how you expect your birthday's to be like. More likely he would do it to see you happy...but don't pout about it if it isn't perfect, bc the next time he'll be hesitant to do it again. ;)

    As for your kids, let them know. "Kids. You know I appreciate your calls. But sometimes it would be nice to get some flowers or a card from you too as well." Maybe they think you don't care for those type of things.

    It's all about teaching everyone what you want...they have all figured that what worked in the past will always work for you. And by showing gratitude as soon as they do it will reinforce these actions. Don't just wish it out loud, tell them. Your family truly wants to please you, but they have all thought what they have given you is enough up to now.

    Good luck and Happy Belated Birthday!!!

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  • moe
    14 years ago

    Your husband plays on the computer a lot. Anyway maybe you should just make it a bigger deal and make them feel guilty if they do that again.

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  • wachu
    14 years ago

    yeah my family forgot my birthday but i really didn't care im not saying i dont care about myself or anything its just it has become another day, and i think everyday will eventually be that...just another day. or maybe its because im lonely too

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    You are getting older and as someone who turned thirty this month, birthdays mean a whole lot less. Things change with age and I am sorry to hear about your adoptive parents as you sound like you miss them.

    I wouldn't worry about the day though, birthdays are sorta meaningless after age twenty-one.

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