Best friend still on my mind

This is my third post about my situation with this guy. My previous post was here:

https://www.isitnormal.com/post/i-m-still-thinking-about-my-best-friend-285778

There have been some sad new developments since. I will pick up from where i left off. I had an opportunity to possibly see my best friend who i am obsessed with recently. As i mentioned in my previous post, i am monitoring all facebook and other things related to him and the church he goes to. We are both catholic and he is a 4th degree knight of colombus. We go to diffrent churches on the same area. I got a notification from his church's facebook page about a special event that i thought he might attend. It was on August 12. I could see who was interested in going and his mother was on there. Sadly since then facebook has fucked up and i cannot see who goes to any public event anymore unless they are friends with me. With the information i had before this i decided to go to the event. His mother and my mother were facebook friends at that time. I went there and hovered around the parking lot until i found his mother. I asked about him and she said he wasn't there but that i could talk to her after mass. We talked and she willingly gave me most of the information i wanted to know. I found out that he isn't going back to college yet but that he was in town at that time. I tried calling him but the number wasn't in service. His mother said that she didnt have her phone and didn't know his new number and i believed her. She seemed happy to see me. She said that she would tell my friend to call me but this never happened. I was used to looking at his mother's account daily. The next day her account disappeared from the search bar on facebook and my mother's friends list. I have a fake account and i checked it and it was still there. There were no traces on my end but on the fake account it was still there! She must have blocked us. What a backstab! She was happy to see me and then she goes and does this!!! Why would she fake her feelings and not just tell me the truth? I found out my friend's new phone number through a diffrent person. I called it. There were 2 rings and then voicemail but it hadn't been set up yet. I tried calling through google voice and my home phone. There were more rings but still no answer. I can't believe this happened. There is no explination for his mother's and his behavior. If they have a problem with me they can tell me to my face without ghosting and ignoring me. I have nonverbal learning disorder and i need to be told these things directly! I know that they will be at the next youth festival in march and now i plan on going to confront them and get closure. I told me therapist and he gave me his offical condolences on the loss of this friendship. I still don't know what happened. I never told my best friend all these feelings so how could he know?! All i can do now is wait until march 21 unless i hear any other news through his other friends. I will still use my fake account to monitor his mother. Stranglely I'm not depressed but I'm just shocked. If all this is true then i have 0 real friends again. I can't belive good cathloics would do this to me without an explination.

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Comments ( 3 )
  • RoseIsabella

    It doesn't sound like he's really your best friend. Best friends generally tell each other practically everything, and there's generally no need to weird ass obsessive stalking when people are actually best friends.

    Facebook probably wasn't fucked up, he probably just had his privacy settings on his account. I don't know why your ex-best friend's mother acted in a friendly, and cordial manner towards you. Maybe you did something that really scared your now ex-friend, and his mother? The fact that you are obsessed with this dude was probably a major league turn off for him. No one likes being stalked, and desperation is a major turn off that stinks, and drives people away in droves. I'm sorry, that what I'm saying sounds harsh, but it's true.

    You probably need to leave this guy alone, and work towards getting over this with your therapist.

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    • I never told him any of these extreme feelings. He does not have a facebook, what i meant was that facebook won't let me see any attendees of any public events anymore, unless i'm friends with them. Since i never told him not to date girls or to dedicate his life to me, how could he feel badly enough to ghost me? The only thing i did was stick to him like glue at college, but he never indicated that he had a problem with that behavior. I have nonverbal learning disorder, so I will never be able to know what I'm saying nonverbally, or what other people say to me nonverbally with certainty. I have also been diagnosed with OCD and generalized anxiety disorder. I have not been tested for narcissistic personality disorder. I do believe that I generally care about people, but I have been so obsessed with this guy that i couldn't think about anything else. Since I need to be told these things directly, and he didn't tell me directly, he may have indicated that he has a problem with my behavior but I may not have picked it up. I do have a psychiatrist and I'm taking Zoloft and Ambilify medications. I know that they are attending the next youth festival in March, so I was planning on going to see how they react to my presence. I don't want to have to wonder what exactly I did wrong for the rest of my life. I really need to hear it from my friend directly.

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      • RoseIsabella

        Sticking to people like glue is generally a great way to make those people want to get away you. I'm not saying that to be mean, I'm just saying it, because it's true.

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