Best friend's fiance tries to keep me from her...iin?

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20 Comments

My best friend and I have been friends for coming up on 10 years. We got really close our senior year of high school and have been inseparable since then. A little while after we graduated she met her fiance. We've all been pretty good friends until here recently. I'm single and I enterprise on my singleness. I hangout with multiple guys and that's my business. Once again, I AM SINGLE! She spends a lot of time with her fiance they are joined at the hip and she tells him EVERYTHING! Including things that are going on in my life i.e. whom I'm sleeping with. 0_0 (Who does that?!) Now he doesn't like me. Thinks I'm a slut and that I'm going to influence her to become a SUPER SLUT like yours truly. So, now when I try to hang out with her, he always wants to come and be around us. Or if he knows she's with me he'll call multiple times. She's already told me that he doesn't care for me so why in the world would I want to be in his company? We have to sneak and be private about anything we do together. I feel like we're having an affair every time we're out together. lmao It's really annoying. I love my best friend with every ounce of me, but I can't see myself putting up with this much longer. I can't influence an adult to do anything they don't wanna do. And I would never encourage her to cheat on this idiot. Is it normal for a fiance' to act this way? What should I do to squash this?

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24% Normal
Based on 66 votes (16 yes)
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Comments ( 20 )
  • shade_ilmaendu
    11 years ago

    Dude sounds like trouble, I'm honestly a bit worried for your friend. It might not end badly, but most abusive relationships start out this way... really mild red flags, "it's just because I love you so much" excuses to bad behaviors.... I'd keep a seal on what you say to your friend and keep an eye on her fiance. Watch for red flags, maybe the guy's just insecure... but there's always a chance of things escalating. :/

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I feel the same way! I pray he never gets that bold, but his father was an abuser...Idk how far this apple fell from the tree.

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      • MilleBornes
        11 years ago

        That's the wrong bandwagon to jump on. We only interpret his actions from how you described him. Your words could be coming from that of a jealous friend NOT of the relationship but of the shared time. It happens. It's your friends fault on the way he sees you. SHE described you to him so he did nothing wrong in believing her and not wanting that type around his investment.

        It's simple. The time with you and her has been strained for some time now. I mean, they're engaged now, so it had to be. It seems that you sense the bigger change coming when marriage takes place.

        You and your friend will be ok. She's obviously including your feelings, but a relationship requires the attention that you used to get. Something you have to get used to and something that she struggles with. She's not throwing you to the wayside That's stupid

        You'll understand or should already understand. She isn't JUST your friend.

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    • RoseIsabella
      11 years ago

      You've got a really good point there.

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  • RoseIsabella
    11 years ago

    I think the best thing you can do is to not confide in your so called best friend anymore. You could even try to tell her in the nicest way possible that you don't feel comfortable confiding in her anymore because by telling her fiancé your business she is betraying your trust. As far as your sex life goes, you're single just like you said. In my opinion as long as you're not chasing married men or trying to steal anyone's boyfriend ,which are both über skanky behaviors, there's nothing too terrible about what you're doing. I'm sad to say that there's really not anything you can do to quash this awful mess because you're powerless over her actions. We are all powerless over the thoughts, actions and feelings of others no matter how much we wish we could change or influence them. Be her friend as much as you can or want to be just understand you can't trust her anymore with your personal business. All the best to you.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Since that happened I always think twice about what I tell her. She promised me that she would never discuss anything like that with him again, but the damage is already done. As for me, I'm not doing anything out of the ordinary. I'm just enjoying my young life not being attached to a control freak. lol I appreciate your advice!

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      • MilleBornes
        11 years ago

        You and Rosie are correct in the fact that you shouldn't confide in her and that you should confront her on how it felt to lose trust. But do not insult him as with saying he's a control freak. Some people like the relationship life and in that life you can't do everything you want without a type of consequence. Even without knowing that you probably REALLY enjoy your single life, it would make her seem unfaithful if she jumped at EVERY occasion to go out all night.

        We go out to have fun, but you can't deny the many opportunities for sex and the atmosphere of many cheaters in that situation or young women who had been taken advantage

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        • MilleBornes
          11 years ago

          I knew how my ex was when drinking. While I trusted her completely sober, she was a horrible drinker. Mostly she was drunk fast and remembered little Now put that in a bar scene with friends who, we know as men, won't tell us whether she did cheat or not, also those friends tend to be single and love it.....nah. While she's out with you, she probably told him that she'd be home at a specific time. If my girl said she didn't know or that she'd be at a friend's I let it go, but if she gave me a time, I held her to it. That could be the reasons for the calls. Try to remember that you're not with her 100% of the time. They still have their system in place even though you two are friends

          As a man I can say, he mostly just wants his time now. You had school and her other single days with her. He's about to marry her so he wants to still make sure that he's investing in something that is going to be stable and wants to be invested in.

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      • RoseIsabella
        11 years ago

        You're very welcome! All the best to you.

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      • robbieforgotpw
        11 years ago

        I sharted my pants full

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    He's probably scared that you might make her a lesbian?

    Stranger things have happened.

    Your friend should stop him from seeing his best friend so he can see how it feels.

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    • RoseIsabella
      11 years ago

      What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

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    • myboyfriendsbitch
      11 years ago

      Lol.

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  • thinkingaboutit
    11 years ago

    It sounds like you have already lost her. They sound interdependent and you are being pushed to the wayside. She shouldn't be telling him your business; that's pretty foul. Anyhow, love while you still can.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I definitely feel that way. Our relationship is not the same and I doubt if it ever will be.

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  • russellnb
    11 years ago

    He sounds posessive.

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  • Roysmart29
    11 years ago

    i would tell u that its not like whats u migth think n confused with cause he is a guy n yes he might want some space alone with his fionce but yapyap not checking on her or either want her to be far from u but in a way to act like a responsiblely in a way could say, and to let u both not too closed maybe as he would have in his mind imaginations of getting u down his toes n to suck him n he migth want to fuck u as he would probably spank himself at home imagining or fantasise himself whatever way he could fuck u n push u away as a slut in her view n being as good and smart guy to her. when a girls name has been spoiled and to the extend her best friend has told it and what else u want anyone to belive it to max that u must be a slut n hemm even i will want to bang u if i had a chance cause its true rite.

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  • Ramo50
    11 years ago

    You need to understand that they are getting married and their lifestyle is different than yours and you should respect that, they are practically family and share something you don't understand. Family first why would he let her go with you, ur influence could damage their relationship it is so obvious do u want the guys u hangout with to hit on her...

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    He sounds really insecure.

    I'd say talk to both of them about it. More than likely, he's worried about her, not you. If he had faith in her, he'd know she will be faithful to him. And if he's as much of a douche as he sounds, it's no wonder he's worried about them.

    I could be wrong. *waves arms around wildly*

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    "Including things that are going on in my life i.e. whom I'm sleeping with. Who does that?!"

    Almost everyone does this, you should already know that.

    "Now he doesn't like me. Thinks I'm a slut and that I'm going to influence her to become a SUPER SLUT like yours truly."

    Well if she tells him the TRUTH about what you do, and he comes to that conclusion based on truth, then you probably are a slut. If you act like one, you are one, it's that simple. And sluts usually do try to get others to act like them, makes them feel like they aren't pieces of poop and all that jazz.

    It's not fair on you if you aren't a bad influence on her, but it would not be easy for him to see that. And you didn't really deny the "supposed" ways you act so I don't know why you care, you don't need friends if all you want is dick.

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