Being in a relationship is personal failure

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11 Comments

I am middle-aged and I have just had the shocking realisation that I think I have failed myself bigtime because I am in a committed relationship.

I am ashamed that I haven't gone it alone and been so weak and stupid as to have a relationship. I was always taught that my emotions were a weakness, especially in women, and I am shocked to realise retrospectively I have proved it!

Does anyone else feel this?

Voting Results
30% Normal
Based on 61 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • college
    10 years ago | pl

    If you're happy in your relationship, I'd say you've succeeded.

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  • Maybeoneday
    10 years ago

    Emotions can be our greatest strength at times. Being in a relationship doesn't mean you aren't self-sufficient.

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  • Shackleford96
    10 years ago

    Either accept your "personal failure" and move on, or do something about it. Then move on.

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  • ccjigsaw
    10 years ago

    You're on the opposite end of the spectrum from most singles. There's usually that realization that you want to have kids and you need an actual relationship to do that. There's that sudden feeling that you've been wasting your time just sleeping around, and then they wish they had what you have. I kind of get it though, I feel like all this relationship and baby making stuff has been forced into our heads. I've seeennn babies/children! It's like getting that dog that just wants to destroy shit and pee on everything even though you you try reaaallly hard to train it. Bad relationships are the same. Why would you want that dragging you down? Although, if you find the right person, it's really not all that bad. You gotta get into that best friend aspect, not "I'm trying reaallly hard to stay with you, and I wonder every now and then why I'm even with you"

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  • dom180
    10 years ago

    That seems extremely arbitrary to call it a "failure". It seems to me like your relationship is only a failure because you have decided it is a failure.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    10 years ago

    I am merely interested to see if anyone else feels this way as we all have different ideas of "success" and "failure" for different reasons. And we all have realisations that spring to us throughout life.

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals
    10 years ago

    It depends. If you're a handsome millionaire and you're married then you failed. If you marry because dating is a terrible chore and you have little success with women then it's a success.

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  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    I think it's the greatest thing to be half a couple. I can't for the life of me understand your thinking process, though I am not putting you down. I just do not understand.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Because it's such a sign of weakness To have one's life messed up by another person through some sort of emotion. I was often chided by my parents if I was influenced by others because it was a sign of weak character.

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      • thegypsysailor
        10 years ago

        For me, it's a partnership, a friendship and someone to share my life. Neither of us seeks to influence the other; we still enjoy our individuality. I like who my girl is; I don't want to change her or mess her up.

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  • thr
    10 years ago

    I associate me being a failure with not having been in a relationship.

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