Being a slut.

Let me start off saying, that I'm a whore. I know it, and I don't know how to fix it.

I have an amazing boyfriend<3 of two months that I love dearly, and would hate if we ever broke up. Yet, I can't stop flirting with other guys.

Before this relationship I was dating one of my current bestfriends, and we went out alot of different times. We both thought it could eventually work out, but I guess not. He always ended up breaking my heart, and I went crawling back. I soon found out that I don't need him, so I moved on. He never did. He is still in love with me, and I give him excactly what he wants.

I don't think I ever dated one guy, without phisyically cheating on him. I dated multiple different guys this year, and I always ended up, holding hands with another guy or kissing another guy. Bottem line is, I don't know what I want.

One example was that I went on a feild trip with my class and my ex and current boyfriend was on it. On the way there, I sat with my boyfriend and I was very happy the whole time. On the way back I sat between both of my ex boyfriends and things went bad. We had the back seat, so no one could see anything we did. Or as we thought. My one "close" friend saw us, and is now spreading rumors.

I used to self injure myself, and now and days things are much worse, and not much is keeping me from going back to that. Sometimes I wish I could just die, and not have to deal with life anymore...