Bad family

I didn't know what category to put this under because it's so messed up in my opinion. When I was younger I was molested by my grandpa, when my parents found out they didn't do anything about it. My older sister even came out and told us he did it to her too and still... Nothing. They kept allowing us to be around him like nothing was wrong. Even forcing me to tell him hi and hug him every time we saw him at family get togethers. As I got older, I stopped hugging him, then stopped telling him hi, and now at any family get togethers I ignore him completely. He doesn't exist to me. That's the background story.

Now I have two children. My oldest is a social butterfly and she's 6 years old. I obviously do not want her around him at all. I get very paranoid and upset with just the thought. The other day I had a practice to go to so as usual I drop my kids off with my mother. When I get out an hour and a half later, my kids are not at her house. After desperately calling her and trying to find her, one of my sisters tells me she's at my grandparents house. In a panic, I rush over there and pick them up. When I talk to her later, I told her I don't want them over there near him. She got angry with me. She yelled at me and said she was with them nothing would happen. She made me feel like a child again, like it was my fault but I stuck to what I felt and told her no. Is it normal for me to still feel this way and is it normal for her to be acting so nonchalant about all this? It just feels wrong to me...

Voting Results
49% Normal
Based on 37 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • thegypsysailor

    Hey, its your job to protect your kids. Just because your parents failed miserably doesn't mean you can't learn from their mistakes.
    Call the old bastard and tell him if he ever goes near your kids again, you are going straight to the police and report him as a child molester! Tell him in no uncertain way to leave them alone. And you, stop leaving them with your mom; you know she's unreliable. Find and pay for a proper babysitter (someone who will do as YOU say). Its your job, at any cost, to protect your kids.

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    • modernism

      AMEN!

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    • RoseIsabella

      Hell yeah! Tell it, Sailor Man!

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    • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

      unfortunately statute of limitations

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      • thegypsysailor

        Not so sure about that, but just the accusation would create havoc in the old perv's life.

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        • RoseIsabella

          Good, people who molest deserve the very worst life has to offer.
          ;-)

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  • Fall_leaves

    Your mother is wrong, I wouldn't even let her watch your kids anymore. Anyone that could allow that to happen to their own children would allow it to happen again.

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  • poon__jabber

    you need to go to the district attorney and tell them this, maybe have your sister go with you and back you up and explain the situation. at least he could become a registered sex offender.

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  • theseeker

    Don't let your family make you feel bad because you are absolutely doing the right thing here. As a parent, it should be your responsibility to protect your children so do what you have to do. When I hear stories like this it really gets under my skin that people such as yourself have to go through such a messed up thing, and I truly am sorry for you! I just don't understand how a person can be so fucked up to molest a child!! I don't care who you are, if you molest my kid I would KILL you!

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  • Shoefish

    I'm so sorry. I don't know how it works where you live but if you can still report him for what he did to you, please find the strength to do so! I'd be listening to the people saying not to leave your kids with your mother anymore. Her crazy behaviour might indicate that she was abused too, assuming we're talking about her father. But both of your parents have been incredibly neglectful and shouldn't be trusted with your kids.

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    • RoseIsabella

      Who knows she might have been the McKenzie to his Papa John Phillips.
      :-'(

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  • fratom

    OH please please protect your children your parents did not you or your sister: you have learned a big lesson from their unnatual behaviuour not to defend their beautiful children from a sicko who should be locked away for a few years: Now you be a loving, caring parent and protect and live for the safety of your children: great you know what that sicko did to you and your sister was very wrong:

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  • Breezy714

    I meant to chose yes it is normal... I'm sorry you had to go through that I think speaking with a therapies would help also

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  • jack1909

    I agree. I think it's totally normal to feel the way you feel. If i were you, I'd hire a baby-sitter or ask your sister to watch them, and explain to her what happened the last time and why you're going to her as a baby-sitter. Im so sorry to hear about that, that's terrible that you're family isn't doing anything about it. My dad wouldve probably seriously killed my grandpa if he did that to me, but my grandpa is already dead lol

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  • modernism

    What everyone else is saying is completely right.

    It's also very likely that your grandfather molested your mother/father (whichever side of the family). If so, then this could be a terrible cycle until *cough* bad granddaddy goes bye-bye *cough*. I'd try to stop that cycle now with is seems like you are trying to do.

    Get your kids AWAY from your grandfather and also get a good babysitter that you trust wholeheartdly (probably with cameras around the house too) so you won't have to expose your children to their neglecting grandmother. If she didn't protect you, she sure won't protect them. You seem like a wonderful, kind mother. Take precautions and carry on doing so.

    I'm honestly so sorry to hear about this. Good luck. <3

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  • deepthought33

    I have a friend with an extremely similar story so I guess crap like this is much more common than anyone would like. I love attempting to put my feet into another's shoes, but this blatant blindness/protection of a skeevy family member I just cannot understand.

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  • Anonymous200

    Honestly, most loving parents would feel the same way you do. If I had kids I would kill/harm anyone who hurt my kids. I would risk prison if it meant they'd be safe.

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  • Anonymous200

    You have every right to feel this way! Never ever leave them to be babysat by your mom again, since she clearly doesn't understand how dangerous the situation is. And if she honestly refuses to see your point of view, it may be time to cut off contact with her. You have to protect your kids, whatever it takes.

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