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So one of my close friends/old roommates just died. his funeral is tomorrow. is it appropriate to bring my 8 month old. I have a VERY well behaved child so i'm not worried about him crying or misbehaving. just wondering if its appropriate for him to be there.
yes, if you can guarantee your baby will behave, and be near a door if he doesn't. babies have a wonderful healing effect on grieving people. some cultures surround the grieving with children for comfort. children are life, and the reason life goes on.
take my baby to a morgue...wtf does that have to do with taking a baby to a funeral??? we went to a church to pray and cry, not look at dead bodies...moron.
thanks to you that actually got the point of the question and left helpful comments. i brought him cause i had no sitter and he was very good the whole, also he was not the only child there.
Death and funerals are a natural part of life. The more we become familiar with the ritual, the more accepting we become with our own demise.
Some people will think it is inappropriate, but they likely won't be able to tell you why. There is no reason a funeral should scar anyone, regardless of age. Why do you think we have them in the first place?
The only thing i wouldnt want is the baby crying, if you're 100% sure it won't happen, go for it, i don't see why he/she shouldn't be there...
Besides the baby is 8 mths old, he/she wont even remember it or understand whats going on
I noticed from kids in our family that the earlier you bring a child to a funeral the better, the older they are the more confused they get, my cousin went to his first funeral at fourteen and now he is terribly afraid of death, we have been taking my little sister to funerals since she could walk and death has never bothered her, iv spoken to a few people who have noticed it aswell
People seem to be interpreting your question in more than one way. Some people are thinking of the child, and some people are thinking of the other attendees. Taking you at your word, though, you seem to be thinking of the appropriateness.
To answer all of those, I don't see that an eight month old would be scarred by being at a funeral, and if your child is well-behaved then I don't see a problem with him being there. As for appropriateness, if your friend was part of the baby's life, then I think it's appropriate. I feel some resentment that I was excluded from my godmother's funeral (she died way too young when I was still a child, although not a baby).
Great answer as always! :D I also know what you mean about resentment, my Nana died when I was 5 but I never went to her funeral and as a result, have no idea where she is or what happened to her.
So I feel resentment about that as well as not getting the chance to say goodbye. So for the OP, it won't harm the child to go there, they'll probably just be curious and it's better they learn about this stuff, this world isn't made out of cotton wool after all.
Yeah, my mum and dad wouldn't let me, my sister or my brother go with them to see my grandma in hospital even though they knew it was serious. She died two days later and I've always felt bad about this. My grandad died when I was five and I wasn't allowed to that funeral either.
If you want to find out where your Nana is, by the way, it's not that difficult these days. I did a lot of that kind of stuff when I was on a genealogy kick years ago. If you want to visit her and lay some flowers, you can. You're an intelligent girl - I'm sure you'll work it out. :)
Aww, that's so sad but I suppose our elders thought they were protecting us instead and shielding us from the pain. Most good intentions seem to be wrong most of the time lol :)
And I think I know what you mean, I did try a little while ago to search but it was hard with not so much to go on. I think I'll have to dig up what info I can and try to search through the records etc. Thank you though, I appreciate it a lot! :D :)
My son is the same age and I would bring him to a funeral if I had absolutely NO ONE to watch him. It's not wrong or bad for you to bring him but just keep in mind that he can sense your emotions.
Don't take your child to a funeral, shelter him and have life be a shock when he has to go on his own...
Of course take him, reality hurts but the longer it takes the more it hurts.