As an adult, my mom is a total bitch towards me! iin?

22% Normal
28 Comments

I'm a young adult, living on my own, and I see my mother about once or twice a month. There's no bad blood between us (I've asked her if there's a problem), but she's so hostile towards me. I have no clue why, absolutely NO clue. I just deal with her cruelty.

She stops by and she will ask me a million questions, which is annoying but I politely answer anything she asks. She asks me all sorts of things like what my schedule is, she asks me for recipes and cooking tips, she asks about really anything and everything, from personal to how-to to everyday things. But God forbid if I ask her anything, she snaps at me with a cruel answer, or if possible, uses it as opportunity to try to make me feel stupid. Sometimes she'll just outright ignore me, and other times she will say something like "why do you care?" and never answer the question. (I wouldn't have asked if I didn't care) If I ask her how to do something, she'll almost always answer like this "ha, you don't know how to < >?" or along those lines, essentially making sure she lets me know I'm "stupid". It's both hurtful and maddening!! Also, she doesn't do this to my other siblings.

She also takes any and every opportunity to take a dig at my opinions, lifestyle, clothing and what I spend MY money on. Whenever I see her it's like she scans me and my home for anything new to pick apart, anything she finds she lets it be known that she doesn't approve and I'm an idiot for liking this or that or buying this or that.

Then I found out she was talking shit about me behind my back, complaining about doing me "favors" when I didn't even fucking ask her to do anything for me. SHE comes to my house by her own choice, and invites me shopping with her. She takes advantage of my company and because I buy her lunch, and then turns around and tells other people that I MADE her take me to the store and waste her gas, when it was all her choice AND I always buy her lunch and anything else she asks for. I totally don't get that, I really, really don't.

I've tried to talk to her about it but she takes everything as criticism and will shut down and deny it.

Any help??

This can't be normal. Is it normal??

Voting Results
22% Normal
Based on 313 votes (68 yes)
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Comments ( 28 )
  • Silentnight
    11 years ago

    The reason why she walks all over you is because you let her. Second paragraph, "I'll politely answer anything she asks". Fourth paragraph, "I always buy her lunch and anything else she asks for". Reading that I can see you're sweet, polite and loving, but I can also see a good opportunity for someone to take advantage of. She knows that she can do pretty much anything and she can get away with it. You have to stand your ground and tell it to her straight how she's treating you and tell her to stop, and if she doesn't do so, then cut her off until she does. Even mothers need to learn some respect. All the best!

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    • topper33
      11 years ago

      Silentnight is very right. you must put your foot down and dont let her do what shes doing after all you are on your own that means you are an adult, dont take her shit anymore.

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      • Silentnight
        11 years ago

        Thanks :)

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    • ZaraKhan
      7 years ago

      Not it's not normal for mothers to treat us like this but sadly for some of us it's reality. It's a sad day but you know you gotta admit it if your mum is a total bitch, there's probably the occasional gestures of love but more often than not you probably sense this sort of spite she's giving to you. She clearly has a favour child and unfortunately for some reason we happen to be the disliked one. My story is a long and complicated one but what hateful mother daughter relation isn't. Oh needless to add, she managed to make my father and siblings hate me. She curses my future, saying its filled with ills, that no one will want me, my university education is pointless and that I will end up being nothing. What sort of mother curses their own child that badly. Crushes their dreams? Mines does and it's got to the point where I'm not even crying anymore.

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  • Minaj
    11 years ago

    Your mom's a jealous bitch

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  • chandra
    7 years ago

    She is just like my mother. Everyone tells me she is jealous that I've had a freer life than she did. She trash talks me to anyone and everyone she meets. She even spent 2 hours trash talking me to the travel agent who was organising our holiday. She demands to come on horrordays with me and my husband (she doesn't pay for us of course) and then says the absolute nastiest things to me the whole time. I was the one who looked after her after her face lift operation and I have visited her every week all my life where my siblings were who knows where. And yet she now tells me she is leaving all the 7 grandchildren $100,000 each and splitting whatever is over between us four children. Trouble is, I don't have children and in the meantime she is giving money out to my siblings and never would dream of giving me a penny.
    So you see, there are other mothers who are jealous and mean bitches too. I would suggest you tell her that you've made a lifestyle change and you're now going to travel more to different cities wherever possible and therefore you won't be available when she wants to come over and dissect your life. Other than that I suggest you change your number and don't give it to her. I am definitely about to tell my mother what I think when she comes back from her most recent holiday. And then disappear off her radar permanently.

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  • Dot123
    11 years ago

    Most mom's are that is how they come.

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  • thecoldhardtruth
    11 years ago

    There's obviously some underlying problem. Maybe she's jealous of your life somehow, or mad because she has no control over you or something

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  • dappled
    11 years ago

    When you're a kid, there's a period where you think your parents can do no wrong. After that passes, you think they merely "should" do no wrong. But they're people too with their own insecurities and problems. My mother is usually okay but my father is a twisted, insecure child. I've tried to get through to him but it just isn't going to happen. I'm not going to list the things he has done but you wouldn't believe it. For your sake, I hope your problems with your mother are temporary. As well as having problems, parents can also change.

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    • ZaraKhan
      7 years ago

      Arkeast you guys have the advantage of moving out, I don't even have that option. In my stupid culture, the only way out for girls is to get married and that's just another stupid dig for them because chances are I'll get married to somone as typical and backward mentality as them. Now I don't want to sound like some damsel in distress or a typical oppressed brown girl but the thing is I actually am, my so called mother is an absolute bitch and she treats me like shit. I honestly don't know what the way out is, all I can try do is avoid her/them through spending over excessive time at the library but that's just really racking my brains

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      • PewdiepieFan420
        6 years ago

        Do you live in a country where this is common for women to not move out until married? If not, do it! And if so, what are they gonna do? Do it!!!!

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  • Stephano2
    7 years ago

    It could be because she didnt realise what a bitch motherhood was gonna be and is now just her passing her unresolved personal issue to you not realisng (or maybe yes realising and not caring) kkk doibg deliverate how hurr u are. Likewise you can perhaps try being less fake with her/more real and either having a go at her or asking whats her problem and/or joking about your answer. She sounds like she need help (as u do to reallt live ur life) , each in different ways. Dont let her drag u down if thats what shes doing. Try to raise her up.. Dunno, change subject, challemge her, bring her dom fun.but by all means try not to take any negive comms she says personally.

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    • Stephano2
      7 years ago

      Wiyhout a doub it sounds toxic. You shouldnt neer to tolerate it

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  • IMissMary
    8 years ago

    One word JEALOUS.
    You may not want to believe it, or may need to understand why before you accept it, but either way thats what it is...whether you want to believe it or not.

    End of Story

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  • GreatArt
    10 years ago

    As you get older, they get nastier.

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  • Cherrybombpieee
    10 years ago

    Ohhh gurlfriend you got mama drama

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  • Aleruben420
    10 years ago

    Your mom sounds almost as crazy as mine. If she is a bitch to you your whole life I would say fuck it. I mean the whole purpose your moved out is to be on your own and free from someone shitting on you. I wish to God I was on my own so I wouldn't have to take the shit I can.

    Your Mom has to learn to see you as an Adult plan and simple. Your an adult and not a child, she must learn to respect you on your terms.

    Good luck

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  • loveapit1
    11 years ago

    To me it sounds like she's jealous of you for some reason or another. In my experience, jealous people ALWAYS try to put you down or make you feel stupid. I've had jealous friends who treated me exactly this same way. Find out what she's jealous about. Confront her about it. Be a bitch back or give her the cold shoulder. That's what I'd do at least!

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  • ccjigsaw
    11 years ago

    I read the 1st 2 paragraphs and from those I gathered that maybe she feels insecure about you moving out? She still wants to be important to you still, and if you know nothing, then you still need her. Maybe? I talk about it. If it's not easy to talk to her cause she cuts you off or somethingthen write her a letter, or if she has facebook drop a message. Mayeb add some nice things as well as the problem, like "I'll always be your little girl, but.."

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  • Sillygoose
    11 years ago

    Your mother is a straight up asshole. Just stop hanging out with her if she keeps acting that way.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Maybe that's just her personality? My gran is a bit like that but we have just had too learn too deal with it & let it pass because she is not gonna change any time soon,
    Yoo could try talking too her if yoo havnt already but it's probably just who she is.

    Good luck (: x

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  • SLAYERoftheWICKED
    11 years ago

    what a FUCKEN BITCH!!

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  • crazyladii
    11 years ago

    She's jealous ... Or you just dont really need and she's one of those "i like to feel needed people"

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  • Faceless
    11 years ago

    Become a drunken drug addict. Thatll show her.

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  • Andrew256
    11 years ago

    Your mom is a cunt. So's mine.

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  • JBN
    11 years ago

    Are you a male or female. It might make a big difference as parents relate differently.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    be open and speak yr mind, discuss what she said about you, if she gets nasty discuss that too, call her out on that rubbish

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  • flax
    11 years ago

    Green eyed monster perhaps?

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