Are they overreacting or it's just me

10 Comments

So my parents went away for a month on holiday and left me on the farm, we have clients who come and go for chemical/mouse bait etc.

I had my bf over for a couple days, we bought veg on the way home from our capital city. We had forgotten to eat/chuck some out and mum had questioned where I got it from so I told her (this is when they got back) they didn't know about my bf till then. I hadn't told my dad yet about it even though my mum told me to.. I didn't tell him cause I knew how he would react and I didn't know HOW to tell him.. so eventually mum told him and my fear came true. They both reacted in pretty much what the F***ing hell were you thinking? They couldn't believe I had someone here THEY didn't know. I mean yes I understand he could have looked through stuff.. taken stuff but I knew he wouldn't (I wouldn't have let him come into the house if I knew he would/Was like that) and he has been absolutely pissed at me ever since then.. talking down at me and in a awefull tone. I also get where they're getting at but things could have been worse I know that.. but didn't..
I WAS going to tell them bout him after they got back from their holiday..

Surely this isn't the first time this has happened to other people right?? Or is this just me??

Yes 2
Maybe 3
No 2
Does it matter? 3
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Comments ( 10 )
  • rayb12
    6 years ago

    No as a parent it is completely appropriate to freak out about your daughter have a strange man over they've never heard of while they're away. And to only hear about it upon coming back. I'm not even a parent and often am surprised by my parents over reactions but come on, this one should be a given. Nothing bad happened and that's a very good thing lol, but you gotta give your parents this one, they just care about you

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    • rayb12
      6 years ago

      Oh ur 26. Slightly different but it's still their house. I've lived at home at 24 and I wouldn't do that and expect it to be ok. You gotta find a way to live on ur own to have that kind of freedom is what I've learned. Hint: get a cheap ticket to Asia (not japan)

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  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    How long had you known your boyfriend before you had him visit while they were out of town?

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    • 19sammi91
      6 years ago

      It's been a couple months now.. the bf/gf thing kinda fell in..

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  • Tealights
    6 years ago

    Are you a girl? If so, this is one of the downsides to being female, unfortunately. Parents are going to be extremely protective of their daughters, especially if they're old fashion, and your parents sound super-duper old fashion.

    Until you move out, your dad is going to hate you dating, because you're his baby girl (if you're female) and he knows how young men think since he was young himself once. Your mom is going to agree with your dad, because... that's what old fashion wives do, the husband's word is absolute. Basically, you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't; the outcome wouldn't have been any better if you would have told them sooner, it's just something old fashion parents say to make you feel bad.

    Anyway, just say you're sorry, and continue dating your boyfriend in secret until you're old enough to move out. If you're female, make your boyfriend wear condoms, so you're not coming home with babies or go to planned parenthood (they wont tell your parents, no worries) and get free condoms and birth control there.

    https://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-center

    https://www.bedsider.org/methods

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    • 19sammi91
      6 years ago

      Well your not wrong there.. and yes I am female (I probably should have explained that) I am 26 too.. i moved back in with my parents because of depression but being home hasn't helped that one bit (specially with dad)

      Plus this is the first time I've brought a guy home as well..

      And I do wanna move and making plans to (moving closer to the bf) and plan to do some courses so I got something to do BUT haven't told the parents.. and seriously dont know how to now this has happened... how do I do That?!?

      And with the condom/birth control.. we've discussed this and I am on the pill but he doesn't wear condoms as we both would prefer him not to.. and it's more unlikely I get pregs anyway as I have PCOS (look it up) (and plus the pill)

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      • Tealights
        6 years ago

        You either got to speak your mind firmly, and tell them that this is how it's going to be until you move out again, and that you're an adult; or you just do everything in secret with the emotional support of your boyfriend helping you along the way.

        As someone who has old fashion grandparents I grew up with, I would suggest the latter, and just do what you got to do until you move out again, because confronting them will turn into a, "you're under my roof so you obey my rules," and blah blah blah. It's a headache, because you know you're not doing anything seriously wrong, and you're an adult. At this point, it's best to accept them as how they are, and not get so hung up on telling them anything unless it involves your safety or whereabouts.

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        • 19sammi91
          6 years ago

          I am not at all good with speaking my mind due to having anxiety and depression.

          So you're suggesting I tell them I'm moving out or what?
          And the thing with my parents is is that they tend to ask lots of questions..

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          • Tealights
            6 years ago

            Lol, the latter roughly means the 2nd, or the last. Basically, I suggest you keep it all secret and fall back on your boyfriend (and... therapist?) for the emotional support when you need while you complete your courses and move out.

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            • 19sammi91
              6 years ago

              Kinda thought that's what you meant (lol) Yea that's kinda what I've been doing.. talking to my bf and therapist.. only issue is is that the course I need to move out for.. otherwise I'd have to travel 2hrs+ there and back which I'm not too keen on...

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