Are pee fetishes/love for older men normal my age
Hi, I'm going to get personal right off the bat here. And it's a bit long.
I'm a 17 year old girl and I know for sure I have a pee fetish. It began several years ago, when I was taking a warm bath and I accidently peed. It felt like an amazing sensation to me, so I started peeing in the shower every time I went in there. I still do. But then at school or other public locations, when I'm in the bathroom stall I get a little weird and I listen to other people pee. I'm not as turned on unless I like the person somewhat though. Finally, the weirdest thing of this all is that sometimes I can't help but watch when my own dogs pee in the backyard, or when I see a sink running, I for some reason want to pee in it. I want to pee on places that you're not "supposed" to. That's probably all a part of the pee fetish, from my understanding, but is it normal for me?
Most people I find with these fetishes are guys a couple years older than me. I'm really basically a young girl. And I'm completely a virgin at that. I haven't met or talked to anybody who had these desires like me. I will have dreams about the guy I like, where he lets me hold his penis while he pees or we pee on each other (not even neccesarily) in the shower. I am both equally in love with the idea of letting him pee down and near my vagina and vise versa. I think pee is so hot and personal, maybe more thrilling than actually having sex, LOL. Yet again this is coming from someone who has never seen a penis or sperm in person in their entire life. I'm craving that intimate attention more than ever, especially being that I haven't even had my first kiss yet. I just want to kiss and cuddle and pee all over someone I love, lol.
Also, another side topic, but I am also interested on men 25+ years older than me. I want to love and be with a man who's in his late 30s/early 40s. I'm smart enough where I can tell who is going to just use me for sex and who seriously loves me. I'm a hopeless romantic, hence why I feel my pee fetish and love for older men will hold me back from ever finding a man that will truly love me. I feel so limited romantically. This is why I was never able to date anyone before- all the things I desire are things that make most teenage girls/boys grossed out.
I would be the happiest girl in the world if I could ever come to terms with my pee fetish and fascination for older men. I've had theses desires since elemebtary school. I'm so frustrated by them that I write about it and it makes me cry. But I know it's who I am and who I want. I suppose this is more of a cry for help post... but please I need to know if there's SOMEBODY out there, particularly a young girl like me, who really understands this.