Are my thoughts normal?

5 Comments

Okay so I have been dating this guy for eight months now, and he is the first guy I have ever really had feelings for. Due to my familys' strong beliefs, we weren't allowed to see each other for a while. I finally gave them no choice, so now him and I are dating. Anyway, I love him to death; he is the first man to ever make me feel loved and safe, but I get pi**ed off at the smallest things. It's like I have no fuse! (Correction, I have no fuse with him.) I try so hard not to be this way, but it seems unavoidable at this point. Oay, for example: He works out of town currently and he takes forever to reply to a message, (I get that, he's working) but it will show that he has read it and not replied. So, I take my ten second relax breath and try to nudge it off... When I go on other social media sites to clear my mind; there he is in the feed.... BAM, I'm set off. I feel like I am being ignored by him and when he does reply, its always "sorry." Another would be that he watches porn on occasion.. I can't grasp the thought of the man I love being turned on by another woman... Even though I could go on, I'll choose one more example. He still stays in contact with a woman whom he was rejected by. I know it sounds insecure, but there are times he has mentioned her, in an example or just to mention her and it sets me off. We had spoke about that, and he has yet to do that again, but it still is on my mind. So my question is, (After all my babbling) Is this behavior normal? What should I do about it all?

I'm sure it's normal... 4
Wtf..? 3
No, it isn't normal. 10
Yes, it's normal. 7
I'm the same way! 1
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Comments ( 5 )
  • Yaburne
    8 years ago

    It's totally normal. For both you and him. Men literally have it programmed in them to have sex with multiple women, it is how they are made (with the exception of gay men). This does not mean that men are going to go around and fuck every woman they see, that is not what I am saying. But all in all, you have to remember that he is with you. He isn't with any of those porn stars he is watching and he most likely doesn't want to be with them. But just like you and me, men want to get off and there should be nothing wrong with that. You just have to keep this in the back of your mind, "he is with me, he loves me, and I am his and he is mine." Him talking about other women he has been rejected by is also normal. It is a memory he has and he should not have to push that into the back of his mind to make you feel better. Just because he is your first love, does not mean you are his. And this is shitty feeling but you have to remember that not everything is the way we want it to be. I wish I was my boyfriends first love, I think every girl wants that but life doesn't work out that way. I also have a short fuse with my boyfriend and I am incredibly happy to say that he is always has patience with me, thank goodness. Having a short fuse is normal, you just have to remember to reel it in sometimes because it may push them away. Whenever I find myself getting extremely angry at little things, I think of all the reasons why my anger is insubstantial, and you should try to do the same. Him not texting you back soon enough, but still reading it. I could see how that would piss you off, it would piss me off too. But you have to remember, maybe he was able to take a sneaky look at it but was unable to reply. If he is at work he could have read it and then got caught up in something. You want to make sure that you hear his side of the story before you start freaking out on him. Freaking out never helps. Also, people need breaks. Allow him to not reply to you sometimes, give him some time to himself. There is nothing wrong with him wanting to be left alone for a little while. Just remember that he is yours and you are his and everything will be okay. He could be with some other girl if he wanted too, but he chose you and that should be enough to make you pull that anger back inside of you :)

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    • JJRMS
      8 years ago

      Thank you so much I'm trying and we have talked about it. It'll just take time to adjust.

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      • Yaburne
        8 years ago

        Of course! It seems like he is your first real relationship and that is always the hardest one because you're new to everything, just remind him of this. Let him know that all of this is new for you and you're trying your best and he should understand where you are coming from. Men really are not as confusing as we make them out to be. Just remember to be patient with him and if he is a good guy he will be patient with you :) keep your head up, things will get easier once you are both acquainted.

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  • Morgen0102
    8 years ago

    This is normal, I don't think the people who voted no thought at all. But suspecting a partner liking and/or cheating is conpletely normal. And I understand you completely

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  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    This is why I like being single.

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