Are men trustworthy?

39 Comments

Title says it all... I see a lot of questions about "is my bf cheating", "is he lying?!" or "am I too jealous" so thought I'd make this poll.

DO YOU THINK MEN ARE TRUSTWORTHY WHEN IT COMES TO A ONE-ON-ONE, MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP? (sexual orientation does not matter)

Personal experiences, explanations, & thoughts welcome.

I'm MALE, 21 or older; I'm trustworthy 12
I'm MALE, under 21; I'm trustworthy 23
I'm FEMALE, under 21; I think most men are trustworthy 6
I'm MALE, under 21; I'm not trustworthy 1
I'm MALE, 21 or older; I'm not trustworthy 6
I'm MALE, 21 or older; I think most men (not me) are not trustworthy 7
I'm MALE, under 21; I think most men (not me) are not trustworthy 6
I'm FEMALE, 21 or older; I think most men are trustworthy 3
I'm MALE, under 21; I think most men (not myself) are trustworthy 2
I'm FEMALE, under 21; I think most men are not trustworthy 22
I'm FEMALE, 21 or older; I think most men are not trustworthy 15
I'm MALE, 21 or older; I think most men (not myself) are trustworthy 3
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Comments ( 39 )
  • Anime7
    12 years ago | pl

    Well, first off, women are probably just as likely to cheat as a man.

    I am male but I do believe that it is possible for a man to be in a one-on-one committed relationship. However, from what I've seen, women completely forget the nice men who exist and date the popular guy who is mean to everyone. The intentions for overlooking a nice guy varies, but to me it appears that women find kindness to be creepy. The only reason that I believe that this poll even exists is because of the poor decisions of some women and their amazing ability to overlook their male best friend as a potential spouse.

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    • NeuroNeptunian
      12 years ago

      "The intentions for overlooking a nice guy varies, but to me it appears that women find kindness to be creepy. The only reason that I believe that this poll even exists is because of the poor decisions of some women and their amazing ability to overlook their male best friend as a potential spouse."

      Exactly, and this is the truth, 100%. I had the best guy friend ever, was always awesome and very supportive of me. We had a great time and whenever I experienced a break-up he was always there with a box of tissues and a smile, a true gentleman. He was such a sweet guy, women thought he was creepy because of it, though. Even some insecure men couldn't stand him. Fuck, I had a huge problem with dating the "popular" guys... He seemed perfect, he had a job, a car, loved kids, etc. he was everything that women said that they wanted from a man but they never wanted him as more than a friend.

      Then I realized that the pool of alpha-males that have everything that my best friend had is pretty shallow, so I married my best friend, fuck all that. It's working out pretty well so far.

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      • Anime7
        12 years ago

        From that anecdote, I can infer that you are an amazing girl. I'm glad that marriage is working out will with with you and your husband. Reading that story of yours actually gave me hope in humanity. It makes my heart happy knowing that women like you exist in this world.

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    • ComTlancy
      12 years ago

      So what could be a possible reason as to why best male friends are overlooked?

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      • Anime7
        12 years ago

        From what I've observed it is usually because women don't date people that they've known awhile. I see women date men whom they have only known for 2 months because male best friends usually get "friend-zoned." I have no idea why women do not consider dating the person that they've known a long time as opposed to the person they've only known for a short time. Maybe it's the mystery factor.

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        • tbiM20
          12 years ago

          Personally I could give a little light onto why some women don't date their friends. I had the opportunity to with one of my childhood friends and I was very very fond of him, but honestly was scared what would happen *after* the relationship ended - would I lose my friend of so many years? I didn't want to be the one to break his heart or he break mine. Plus, we're always more open about our flaws with the guy we're dating than with our friends - would he think less of me? So, instead of facing those what-ifs and gambling on the chances of a young-love fairy tale, I stuck with the safe option: keep the happy friendship I have now.

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          • Anime7
            12 years ago

            That's pretty interesting. I guess that there are a lot of what ifs. I can understand that. I'm glad that you still have your friendship.

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            • tbiM20
              12 years ago

              Yeah, I guess psychologically its easier to "justify" the guy I barely know with a "what the heck?" whereas its much harder for the friend because there is something to lose there. Though its contradictory, considering that if they're your friend, you already know that you get along. *sigh* no one ever said we always make the smart choice lol.

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        • ComTlancy
          12 years ago

          I'd agree on thaat mystery factor. Then again, it sometimes works both ways. Some guys friend-zone girls.

          I personally don't mind if i get friend-zoned, it just means another person to hang out with.

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          • Anime7
            12 years ago

            That's a good way to look at being friend-zoned.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      Good points. Notice I separated the categories by age groups too. As a male is there a behavior diffrenc you notice, in both males n females, between the age groups?

      *EDIT* I kno women cheat too, but my curiosity is about peoples' impressions n perspectives, by age n gender. Science? :p

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      • Anime7
        12 years ago

        My age group consists of late teenagers. People who are 17-19, not young adults but starting to look like them. I will explain the behavior contrast between the genders concerning dating.

        In a high school setting, social hierarchies are established to separate the alpha-males from the betas. Women, from what I've seen, only pay attention to the males that appear to have respect from their peers. The male is usually someone who is tall, attractive, and can easily obtain the will of his peers, thus women notice this. They go after men like this, which in all honesty, who can blame them? However, where are the rest of the men in the spectrum? How about the other women?

        Well, the betas are usually the weaker males. These "betas" are usually the guys you see off by themselves enjoying each others company, trying to avoid the crowd. Due to their reserved attitude towards the crowd, they condemn themselves to a state of invisibility. One of the factors that stem from women not finding nice guys is because guys like that usually don't go around yelling "I'm a nice guy!" This is all from observation. Of course, you'll have a couple of confident males out there who are popular, nice, and single, they are walking contradictions. Anyways, back to the topic, women don't really notice the betas because high school is really all about image and dating someone unpopular can usually damper that about someone.

        Women are also just as likely to be betas due to the nature of their behaviors, especially in the social jungle know as high school. From observation I've seen women carry with themselves a mentality to belittle one another. The mentality appears to be "Oh she's pretty, may be I can hurt that self esteem of hers." Actually, this mentality is common among people, we try to hurt those who appear happy. However, I have met plenty of women who avoid other women and stick to their small group due to their want to detach themselves from the drama of other women. These women are the ones that are worth trying to meet. They are usually nice and can empathize with anybody. These women are the best to be around because they cause less drama and are aware of how stupid some people can be, especially in high school. Their dating life, however, is about as nonexistent as their male beta counterpart. Of course, you do have that occasional couple of betas.

        What I said above is what I've seen when it concerns high school students and dating. I know that not everyone fits into a clique and I tried my best not to generalize, but this is what I've seen from observation. I have met women who are "popular" and can understand the plight of non-popular students. And I have also met men who would be counted as "alphas" that exhibit the trait of a beta.

        In conclusion, when an individual enters a social setting that requires a precise of understanding of the logistics behind social cues, he will probably enjoy the popular life and women notice popular males more than any other type of men; however, there are people out their who care more about the personality of the individual as oppose to his appearance among his peers, those who care more about the soul are the people that are a rare catch.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Like Anime7 said, women would rather overlook the nice best friend as a potential spouse, and then when women do this and go for the assholes, the whole gender gets seen as assholes because "they" picked the assholes that obviously wasn't going to be committed to the relationship.

    If women are attracted to assholes, that's no problem, they're allowed to be, but they shouldn't be allowed to blame the whole (or majority) of the gender because of "their" decisions.

    It's like if a male got with a woman that is known to cheat on people at any chance she can, most likely she's going to cheat, is that the woman's fault for the relationship failing, or is it the male's fault for the relationship failing due to him knowing she would most likely cheat?

    Women, if you want faithful people, then look in the friendzone, not the guy with one leg next against the wall with a cigarette that treats everyone like crap.

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    • NeuroNeptunian
      12 years ago

      LOL. I have a ton of chick friends that get with assholes with criminal records or children that they don't support when they have plenty of good-looking, kind-hearted male friends that they could, for lack of better way to put it, have their pick of.

      What sucks is that I know that when they are older and have their priorities together (they realize that a man that can provide them with drama and excitement isn't nearly as valuable as a man that can provide them with stability and be a good father and partner), they wish they would have gotten with the good men. It's usually too late though, most of these guys are married by the time the women realize that they missed a golden oppurtunity. Sorry, ladies. You put him back on the shelf, he was free game :P

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago

        Agreed. It is a shame, it means that becuase there isn't a proper family enviroment, the child could either be brought up by a single mother, or a father that doesn't deserve to be called a father.

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        • NeuroNeptunian
          12 years ago

          I don't know if I am completely accurate in saying this but it seems like the problem is more prominent nowadays then it was 30-40 years ago. I've been told that as women gain more economic "independance" (real or perceived) or become more "independant" of males ("I'm a strong female, I don't need a man in my life"), the prevalence of single-motherhood becomes more and more so.

          It saddens me. I know some really cool women that get tangled up with these nasty dudes and have kids with them and I know it hurts the men that actually care for them too =/

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          • [Old Memory]
            12 years ago

            I think it's reasonable to believe that, I don't know if that would be the only reason, but I think it's definetly part of the reason.

            I think maybe the thought is "I'm a capable woman, I can bring my child up by myself" but forget that it isn't about the woman, it isn't how she thinks she shjould bring up the child, it's about the child, that the child would be better being brought up by two parents for financial and emotional support.

            It is a shame, I feel sorry for the child in those situations aswell.

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            • tbiM20
              12 years ago

              I think there are many healthy single-parent households, though yes having two can, ideally, make it more stable.

              As for the independence thought, I think it has come in conjunction with the trend for women to focus on education and job security more in their twenties, and thus getting married/having kids at a later age. Remember, men have always been pushed into business & work at that age, then marry a few years later. Marriage used to be THE defining factor of a woman - who did she marry, what is his job and his income? A bachelor we more socially acceptable (& still is to an extent) than a spinster.

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            • NeuroNeptunian
              12 years ago

              "but forget that it isn't about the woman"

              That's the key here. If this recent explosion of popular gang culture has proven anything, it is that children NEED strong, positive male role models. The only word I can think of for these women is selfish, many of them relish not having to relinquish their parental control to a man, but they don't realize that it's not about "ME and MY feelings". What a crock.

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  • Store210
    12 years ago

    I`m a male under 21 and i thing a man who you cant trust, is a man that shouldnt live

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  • frankiestrange
    12 years ago

    I don't think gender has anything to do with it. Wouldn't it be the person? If the person is an arse, then no, they wouldn't be trustworthy. If they're a nice genuine person then yeah, trustworthy. Don't you think?

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  • TonybigCock
    12 years ago

    flipping complicated vote you got their son.

    I like other women, and imagine giving them a solid portion, but when i think of all the pain it would cause to get into an affair, i think it is better to keep my substantial cock in my trousers, and keep on imagining

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    12 years ago

    Part 2: if this poll were about untrustworthy WOMEN, how would you respond?

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    • NeuroNeptunian
      12 years ago

      Good trustworthy women are out there, we're just not as noticeable as women that are disrespectful and bitcy.

      How often on TV, in movies, in magazines or in public do you notice a woman who acts respectfully, treats others nicely, pays her bills on time, goes to work faithfully and attends to their obligations religiously?

      How often on TV, in movies, in magazines or in public do you notice a woman who is a bitch, that complains about men and that acts childishly and irresponsibly?

      It sucks how a handful of bad apples can spoil the reputation of the whole bunch. As a whole, I would say the same for women as I would say for men.

      Bear in mind though, I hope that you do not think that at any point I am confusing trustworthy with perfect or selfless. Most people, by nature, are self-serving and look after themselves first - it is the most rational thing to do. We all make mistakes and do stupid shit sometimes.

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      • tbiM20
        12 years ago

        LOL, reminds me of some interesting conversations with friends from New Jersey when Jersey Shore came out...

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    12 years ago

    Most of the men that I know are trustworthy.

    I have quite a bit of friends that meet nothing but un-trustworthy men though. But that's mainly because that the men that go after them only want sex, and the women oblige by that thinking that he will want a relationship AFTER they have sex, or that their sex talk or over-confident demeanor is merely a mask for a sweet, sensitive guy who just has a lot of problems. If I had a dollar for every female I have heard say "I can change him, I think I'll be the one to change him!", I'd be able to pay them the child support that their baby daddies won't pay, seriously.

    Women who have little to no respect for themselves rarely ever attract trustworthy men that have respect for women. Some exceptions abound, but as a general rule it remains true. Then those women get screwed over and start on the whole "Chivalry is dead, there are no good men left in the world, good men are so hard to find" and as a cycle, they become more negative each time and just drive away good guys that would do them well because good guys don't want to be with women that feel that they are un-trustworthy douches from the get-go unless they are a bit desperate or really see something in that woman.

    A lot of these women let their emotions get a hold of them and go into dating looking for someone that can provide them with a Holly-wood worthy romance, rather than a stable, loving relationship. They consider good guys boring and lame, they want their blood to boil in his presence, they want drama, romance, excitement, they want a challenge. Unfortunately, some women don't understand that what you want and what you need are two seperate things, not until they are single with a baby or in their 30's and single =/ Besides, women can be just as untrustworthy as men...

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      So basically, a female's response to the poll is based on her own experiences, and those experiences are the result of simply bad choices. You pick the bad boy, you get the bad boy.

      What about the males who voted "not trustworthy"?

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago

        There are many reasons for that.

        Is a man truelly not trustworthy when they tell themselves to be? This site has a lot of kids, and some think it's "cool" to be seen as the mysterious unfaithful one. Not to mention, some of the votes could be from people that dislike men, and in their dislike of men, voted as one in the "unfaithful" options.

        Yes, there are a lot of unfaithful men, same as women, but a lot of them aren't, sadly those are the ones not given that much of a chance.

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      • NeuroNeptunian
        12 years ago

        I'm not a male, so I wouldn't know.

        Granted, a male can TOO have bad experiences with other males. I know many guys that have much more in the way of female friends then they do with male friends, so when they DO interact with males on a more interpersonal level and the male does prove to be untrustworthy, it can leave quite an impression.

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    • tbiM20
      12 years ago

      I don't think I could've said it any better than this.

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  • Frosties
    12 years ago

    Logically, you're leaping to an assumption there. If women ask, "Is my boyfriend cheating?" it could be because he is, or it could be because she's insecure about someone cheating on her.

    "Is my boyfriend cheating?" is not the same statement as "My boyfriend is cheating" and one doesn't imply the other.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      Not saying it does, but the quantity of these types of questions piqued my interest, hence the poll.

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