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Just curious about people's perceptions of "antisocial" people and their biases when it comes to gender. Antisocial meaning awkward, shy, introverted and generally eccentric personalities - people who are terrible with human interaction. Do you think it's cute or creepy?
| For a female, it's cute - for a male, it's creepy | 31 | |
| For a male, it's cute - for a female, it's creepy | 12 | |
| It's cute regardless of gender | 74 | |
| It's creepy regardless of gender | 28 | |
| Other (comment) | 52 |
It's a great paradox cos often these people are the ones with the most to give they just don't have the confidence to.
Being shy does seem to be more cute for females but then again, I'm a guy. Then again, I watch anime so my opinion has been corrupted. But seriously, if someone was truly bad at talking with others and was truly shy then I wouldn't think it was creepy if I didn't think it was cute. I don't think introversion should be included in there though. Some people such as myself simply don't want to talk all the time and keep to themselves but are completely the opposite when around people who I actually get along with. I also have the opinion that people who are quiet end up being way more interesting when they actually talk. Really people, if someone seems shy, try talking to them first, don't just give them the shy label without knowing their true self. I am speaking from experience, yes.
"then again, I watch anime so my opinion has been corrupted"
Nice, I got a good smirk from that.
Anime currupted me when I was a little kid. Now shy introverted girls are pretty much the only girls I think are cute. And because the Japanese do like cuteness I think cute girls are better than hot girls. LOL.
Being anti-social can be cute or creepy or anything else depending on the person, in the same way that being social can be cute or creepy or anything else depending on the person. There are lots of different ways to be anti-social just as there are lots of different ways to be social, some of which are healthy and attractive and others of which are not.
It can be cute, or it can be creepy. It depends on what the nature of the awkwardness is.
I think it's frustrating.
I hate it when I talk to someone and I can't tell whether they are anti-social or they fucking hate me. I kind of have an oddly sunny disposition which tends to put certain personality types off, so when someone is anti-social, I have a hard time telling whether they are put off or just being shy/awkward. Eventually, I just leave them alone if they don't seem receptive to the vibes I'm throwing out there.
Just ask them straight up. I'm not saying to pander to people but introverts do tend to favour direct conversation.
I fear sounding like a self-conscious twat.
"Oh hey, do you fucking hate my guts?"
They may appreciate your blunt manner. I can only speak for myself though.
As an anti-social person I can honestly tell you I would rather people just tell me things straight to my face. I would be more offended if you didn't.
I'd feel better going out in public stoned, its much easier dealing with people that just piss you off when you have to repeat your self more than twice being high it knocks some of the anger out for me.
sorry but i don't find this cute.
I am one of those people, in my real life, and I don't really feel like calling myself creepy, although I probably seem so.
Your thinking of insecure and low self esteem people. Not anti-social people.
I'm assuming here that everyone here is referring to 'antisocial' as being not sociable amongst people (introverted) and not the other commonly used definition where it means 'hostile to or disruptive of the established social order' (in which case I doubt antisocial behaviour will be perceived as 'cute').
And on that assumption, I'm saying that in girls it's cute but guys its creepy - based on real life experience.
But what I'd like to point out here is that (personally, I find that) in most cultural references like movies etc, the opposite seems to be the case. I mean is there a movie where the shy, introverted, antisocial (main character) guy doesn't get the girl? The antisocial guys are always being portrayed as mysterious, which always ends up turning the not-so-shy girls on. Thing is, wallflowers always stay wallflowers,however much I'd like to believe some extraordinary turn of events would make everyone else see exactly how interesting and attractive they may be.
I'm saying all of this as an 'antisocial', introverted wallflower (guy). People just don't pay attention to the quiet ones like the movies would have anyone believe. If you remain quiet, you won't be heard. And based on my shyness and the lack of any female attention, I'm saying that antisocial guys are creepy.
And as for antisocial girls, I reckon they have it better because as long as their not hideous and they have a good personality, They'll be hit on. This also goes back to the social convention that it's the guys that make the first move - again another reason why antisocial guys are perceived as creepy even though they like girls who like them. But don't quote me on that.
I'm cute? No offense, but have you guys seen real antisocial people? I'm the least pretty girl I know. Then again, I'm an extreme case.
If people were bullied at a young age and the social anxiety is a response, they also will be very insecure in a relationship. I am very insecure, but I was never bullied. I really don't know what causes my SAD, so I assume it's genetic or environmental.
1. I'm sorry about violating you, by reading your profile. 2. I think I would like you, if I would ever find myself talking to you, although I doubt I would unless we found each other in some art class and needed to work together or something, I too love cute animals C: I don't know if I have any sort of SAD or anything like that o.o but I am antisocial and very shy irl :3 your profile said you wanted to make friends so, Hai ^u^ my name is Jón
It's okay. I violated you too :3. I love smileys btw. Here's one I saw on a music video: >B-|
I love your name. Nice and simple. I think parents overdo it trying to be unique these days. That's why there's a baby named @.
There's a baby named @ ?? O.O and yay <3 smileys are awesome, they help me express myself xD and people do try to be unique with names now a days..
I love short people btw, they are cute and cuddly ^-^
Oh, and here's a smiley I stole from someone I met in a video game: ʕಠᴥಠʔ
Kinda awesome right? ^^ although I can't make it without copying it..
I like your name too btw, although it does kinda remind me of Marilyn Manson.. scary dude e_e
What kind of music are you into? C:
I don't mean to shock you but sometimes... it's neither creepy NOR cute!
There is a red umbrella over my roof and an iPod is most certainly not my hero.
Well I really only know one male who I would consider antisocial, his name is Tyler and a friend of mines. He's a pretty nice guy, even though most of my friends find him really creepy and off-putting. He can be a huge asshole, or generally just a mean person, but that's something we both have in common. If you talk to him he'll be nice to you, but if you start trying to befriend him then he'll only become more of an asshole towards you. But overall, people might find to come off as really weird, but he's really good at science so people, including myself, ask him for help a lot. Frankly, if you're a guy and antisocial, I don't really care as long as you're not a asshole towards me.
However, for girls it's different, well not really actually. If a girl's antisocial, not shy, but just genuinely dislikes people then I'll be annoyed by you, however if we get along and I can talk to you then I won't mind since you're being sociable to me. It kinda makes me feel special.
most people are creeped out by me ( and think I could snap and shoot up the school at any moment), and they have no shame in telling me. But since i am anti social/socially anxious, i understand why other people are, so i don't think any differently of them, and i will make an effort to make them feel welcome.
they should have antisocial media. just a bunch of people with usernames not saying anything
It's interesting how they are percieved by non introverts, many think of them as all being similar but that is far from true.
Many introverts have schizoid tendancies and actually dislike listening to others, aswell as having a cold uncaring demeanor.
It's funny how everyone goes "they usually have the most to offer the world" and "they want people to give them a chance". More often than not they actually don't, they want everything their way and are excluded as a result.
It's another stereotype that needs to go. Not all anti-social types are misunderstood, many are excluded by society for good reason.
Being that I've spent time in places that collect many loners, anti-social and introverted type people (prison and a psychiatric institution for a brief time) I would say that it's all greatly misunderstood by the general public.
And then there are the nice "misunderstood" ones, but they are certainly the minority.
"Being that I've spent time in places that collect many loners, anti-social and introverted type people (prison and a psychiatric institution for a brief time) I would say that it's all greatly misunderstood by the general public."
What a bloody brilliant place to collect an unbiased sample: prison and a psychiatric institution. You can hardly say introversion is misunderstood from your observations of a place where many people there will be socially maladjusted in ways that are completely unrelated from introversion. I spend a lot of time at a library, and most of the people there are introverts. Most of them also have absolutely no "cold uncaring demeanor" at all. But I wouldn't use that example to say "intrvrts r gud lol" because my anecdotal evidence counts for almost nothing, and yours is no different.
Because prison and a psychiatric institution are the two places with alot more introverts than you're likely to find anywhere else.
"Most of them also have absolutely no "cold uncaring demeanor" at all."
Note that I was speaking about those with schizoid tendancies (many introverts indeed). So yes they do. Many people exclude themselves from society due to this behaviour.
"I spend a lot of time at a library, and most of the people there are introverts."
In a library people are quiet, quiet due to the rules. That is all.
You have no experience within all three places, I do.
As usual it's me speaking through experience and observation only to be "told" by a bunch of teenagers, sheltered adults and Americans as to how the world works.
They were just random things I have noticed on the fringes of society. Places that, unlike you, I have actually been.
So lay off the self righteous bull.
But we're not talking about the "fringes of society", which is exactly why your point doesn't stand. We're talking about "normal" introverts (yes, they exist). You can choose to talk about the "fringes of society" until the cows come home, but when everyone else is talking about something different you're obviously going to get pulled up on it.
It's funny how you change from making broad generalizations ("more often than not...") to "just random things I have noticed". I'm not the self-righteous one; I even *admitted* my observations weren't that meaningful. You're the self-righteous one for trying to pass off your judgements based on random observations as truths when there's no useful evidence for it, then downgrading your own point to "just things I noticed" when it's challenged.
Your experience =/= "truth".
My experience =/= "truth".
I'm not trying to tell you how the world works. I'm trying to tell you that it's limited to use your personal experience as a way to make judgements on the whole world when other people have different but equally valid experiences. The same limitations apply to me, and to the rest of the world.
Everybody already knows about the "normal" introverts, so I wasn't speaking about them.
You say we're talking about the "normal" ones but I wasn't, just you. YOU responded to MY comment not the other way around, so no we are not talking about "normal" introverts. Infact I have no idea what you're trying to prove or even say, except for telling us what we already know.
I'm talking about the other side of it, because many haven't had the contact with the "other kind" of introverts that I have. I was speaking in specifics and you butt in and generalise it, muddying what could be an interesting point to expand on.
"What a bloody brilliant place to collect an unbiased sample: prison and a psychiatric institution."
"The Degree of Civilization in a Society Can Be Judged by Entering its Prisons."
-Dostoyevsky
Then there's the one's like me, with conditions like SAD ghat are becoming more prevalent as technology progresses. Honestly, this is the only place I'm social. People scare me, but I do desire friendship and companionship.
"It's interesting how they are percieved by non introverts, many think of them as all being similar but that is far from true."
The first thing I wrote.
I mean I'm not uncaring and cold. Just scared of what people think and how they'll treat me. Sorry if I offended you, mister tommythecat.