Another melodramatic teenage relationship story.

Firstly, thanks all for agreeing with me.

I am willing to move on from this without her apologising, but if she keeps bringing it up then I only think it's fair that it's done in a way that doesn't make me take all of the blame.

You've all given me me good ideas of how to handle a conversation about this if it comes up again. What I do plan to do is ask friends who were sober to be witnesses if it comes to needing to convince her she was at fault.

The one problem I might have with this strategy is that she's the type to become even more defensive if it seems like nobody is on her side. If all our friends are against her, it might make it even harder for her to behave in a way that I think is reasonable.

Anyway, thanks a lot guys. More comments as welcome as ever, of course :)

Girl beater!

She remembers. "All she remembers is me throwing her at a wall." Yeah, okay sure.

I would have done the same thing to someone who was in my face when I told them to back off/walked away.

Not sure if you're familiar with Jersey Shore dude, but it sounds like you've got yourself a Sam.

Beyond the apology (and drunk or not, yes she does owe you an apology) I think you should concern yourself with what caused her to become violent with you in the first place. Is there something on her mind that she's not talking about and is drunkenly taking that stress out on you? Does she have psychological problems or a troubled past or anything of the sort?

That sort of lashing out doesn't usually come from nowhere, so if you are serious about this relationship you should consider trying to find the source of her violent behavior so as to avoid situations like this from happening in the future. And becasue assuming you care for her that's just the nice thing to do :)

Dude, you have hooked yourself into a seriously crazy one! I was with one of those once, she will go ape shit on you more than once trust me! And every time she does it will be completely your fault for some obscure ass reason, defending yourself is completely out of the question or your a woman beater!

drop this crazy.

My opinion on this is that you're trying to deal logically with an illogical situation.

I know how you feel, because my father was a mean drunk. Almost every night he'd go on tirades, cutting us to pieces with a barrage of the worst insults on earth. The next day, he didn't remember. It became an issue of what was more hurtful, the rants themselves or him not owning up to what he said/did. Like you are doing, we tried to deal with it logically, but that doesn't work. I found, with this sort of issue, you can really only work FORWARD, not backwards. No matter what, you're never going to be satisfied if you are trying to sort out the past because it's impossible, you guys were drunk. You're both going to be in defensive mode since you're both trying to be 'right'. Whether one person actually is more 'right' than the other is really a non-issue with such a situation. Drunks don't remember specifics, you're never going to get an apology for specific incidents. If you're lucky, you may get a broad, general apology for 'whatever I've done'.

Best thing to do is, both agree that whatever happened shouldn't have happened, you were both drunk and acting irrationally. All you should be focused on is making sure this NEVER happens again. Forgive each other, move on and most importantly commit to never getting into this spot by either not drinking or seriously monitoring your alcohol intake.

Hopefully if you can try to make the situation less of a me vs you, you can both agree to move on and not blame one another.

If you think she has a real problem with drinking then you may want to seriously consider getting away from her FAST because this will only get worse.

Having no memory of what happened is not a valid excuse to ditch personal responsibility in court.

And yes, it is normal that you want her to apologize. I'd be wary around a girl like this, from what you have posted about her, she may not have the greatest logic/rationale/communication skills so you may have to talk to her the way you would approach a child with a bad temper =/ Good luck.

I think while you both could've handled the situation better, she's mostly in the wrong -and she should certainly apologize.

well this is over 2 years old. I hope you've gotten rid of her by now. That bitch I hope never drinks again!

Also, she's the one to blame. Not you.

I'm sorry mate but I've been drunk a shitload of times and never ever beat up on my man and I've remembered everything. She must have been blind drunk with her claim she doesn't remember anything because that is nothing but an excuse. Is she going to use this everytime? Have you asked the mutual friends if anyone took footage of the event? I don't want to sound mean or blunt but this is no nice situation to be in and she's milking it for all it's worth. I would be very careful around a person who was not willing to accept responsibility for their actions.

I remember my first beer.

BOTTOM LINE: don't get drunk.

No but seriously, the girl doesn't sound very nice.
Don't take all the blame for this man.

That girl was wrong and owes you an apology, but chances are you won't get one. The way you describe her, it seems like she's not that capable of reasonable thought. I've seen females like this and the best thing you can do is keep her away from the alcohol and if that doesn't work, then dump her .

No one ever stops chick fights (except fuckfaces) because they're amazing to watch. Women are quite fierce when someone really pisses them off!

You made a mistake and you feel bad about that. She shouldn't try to make you feel worse.

Just remind her that you're not a bad guy. Unless you have a violent history, and it doesn't seem like you do, then she should be able to forgive you. If your friends can serve as witnesses she might be able apologize and then you can forgive.

I think that it's fair to demand an apology. She clearly got violent with you and because she can't remember it doesn't mean that it didn't happen. Since you've already talked, I'd say to just forget it. However, be cautious around her next time you guys decide to be around alcohol. By that I mean to watch her alcohol intake.

You pushed her? Should of punched her. Screw this "You're a man, you're stronger" bullcrap. If she delibratly hit you, someone physically stronger than her, then she deserves to be hit by "their" level of strength. You won't see a lion biting lightly as hard as a human can just because physically they're stronger, will you? If she wants to hit you, you hit her back.

What you did was meritted, and I would encourage males to do it when ever a female does it to them. They've been allowed to hit people and get away with it, that when a man retaliates, she feels like "she" was the one violated.

Don't feel guilty, you shouldn't of apologized at all. "She" caused the situation, all you done was defend yourself, and the damage that was caused was by accident, you only meant to push her away, and in the situation at hand I believe you had full right to hurt her like that intentionally, let alone unintentionally.

Don't be gullible, she remebers it all, the fact that she can remember how you done something, but can't remember at all what she was doing, even when she was doing it on more than one occasion. So she can remember something that happened once, but she can't remember anything else that happened the rest of the night? Some selective memory she has, or better yet, just some stupid "Waaa, pitty me, I done something then got shown how easily dealt with I can be, pitty me, waaaaah" crap.

Leave her, that's my opinion. If she is trying to make "you" guilty for sorting her bad behavior out, also enduring her bad behavior that involved emotional and physical assault, then you should just leave her. Better yet, you should get her charged for it.

Her reasons you should take the blame is because you hurt her more? Fuck that. She knew full well that since you are a man, you are physically stronger, yet she assaulted you?
"You're stronger than me, but since you're stronger that means I can hit you, but you aren't allowed to hit me to the ammount of damage you can cause simply because I'm weaker, that means I have full right to hit you, but you have no right to hit me, because you can do worse". If men can do worse to women, then why the hell do they provoke them?

Tell this girl that she is a moron, pathetic, wrong, weak, and she should realize that there is no place for such pathetic people such as her that try to poke at the lion and expects the lion to just roll over.