Anniversary- nothing? after this long??

36% Normal
7 Comments

My bf and I have been together for more than 4yrs. We talked about our upcoming anniversary, and made an outline of plans, weeks before it arrived.
I took off work to get his something I had been thinking about all week. I also get a cake when I pick him up from work.
His attitude, behavior is normal, as we chill in the living room afterwork. I'm waiting for him to pull out something..I think maybe I should get the festivities started..so I say
"Hey babe I got you something"
I bring out the gifts. Which are really bad ass if I may say so my self. I usually suck at gift giving and he's the one who gives me great gifts, every anniversary, birthday, christmas. So I'm proud of me.
So I bring out his gifts and he says
"Oh you shouldn't have got me anything. Now I feel bad cuz I didn't get you anything"
And my head I'm like, WHY THE FUCK NOT DUDE?? ITS OUR ANNIVERSARY!? THAT'S WHAT WE USUALLY DO!
I say, " that's okay"
He says,' no its not" but continues opening gifts. I don't argue because its true. Its not okay. But I do not want to be THAT GIRL. Its about the thought that counts right?
WELL THERE WAS NO THOUGHT ABOUT ME AT ALL!
He says, " I guess I'm gonna have to get you something tomorrow...how did you have time?" He asks me.
Mind you, This fellow, my fellow of now more than 5yrs,got paid the week before. And only a few days ago,went to the store and spent almost 80 bucks on.His dog.

Now at this point, I'm more hurt than mad. I'm more embarassed than mad. I felt like a fool. I made such a big deal, and he obviously didn't give a shit. Which is so unlike him. NEVER, EVER, EVER has he not gotten me ANYTHING for our anniversary. Not even a card? "I love you" on a napkin...after how long we've been together? After everything we've been through, this is how you celebrate our love...doing nothing, acting as if today is a regular day??

Even last yr he bought me a card. I appreciated the gesture, it showed me he was thinking about us. BUT NOW that he's working, we're stable,....he forgets? I can't even say he forgot, that would be semi-forgivable...
he didn't "forget", he just didn't give a fuck....
Its so unlike him, and it just adds to a list of slightly odd behavior he's been having lately.
But that's another "is it normal" story.

is it normal for a guy to NOT get his gf anything for their 4+ anniversary? Should I be worried?

Voting Results
36% Normal
Based on 53 votes (19 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • flutterhigh
    12 years ago

    It seems that "have a reasoned discussion with your partner" doesn't occur to 99% of people with relationship issues, which is confusing because it is the answer to 99% of relationship issues.

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  • AngAnders112
    12 years ago

    if you guys hadn't have already made little plans a few weeks before then I wouldn't think it's that big of a deal. to some people, anni's are kinda over rated. but if he knew how important this was to u, then he could've at least made some effort.

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  • Lynxikat
    12 years ago

    that is pretty weird...

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  • robbieforgotpw
    10 years ago

    Nice book chapter 2 was long though

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  • SnowyHeart
    10 years ago

    Maybe because you and him have been together for a long time..and he feels less special about it now. It's like how the new thing excites someone and when it gets old..you just feel nothing much about it. He probably thought you wouldn't mind if he didn't buy anything since he feels relaxed around you now. Like he thought greeting you on the Anniversary day is enough, no need to be so formal. He might thought you wouldn't have time to pay attention at this day but then it turned out that you actually cared a lot.. so he felt guilty.

    There could be many possibilities for why he didn't give you anything. I don't want to assume that he has someone else cos this case is really not enough to judge that.

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  • BurnaTwist
    12 years ago

    maybe you didnt deserve one? just sayin there is always 2 sides to a story

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    Sounds like he's trying to tell you, yes you're right - he doesn't care about you any more! After 4 years, the lust etc is over and he's settled into this relationship like an old dull marriage.

    If he's behaving strangely, I'd say it looks like his interests lie with someone else.

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