Am i wrong? iin?

8 Comments

I have this ex boyfriend from high school, we broke up about 5 years ago. He still has an old facebook profile picture of us and always says that we are friends and always have been. Yet, he is never there when I really need someone, I don't feel like he respects what I have to say and I feel like he is just using me to brag to his friends about me as a conquest, twisting things to make it seem as if I were crazy for him. I cut off contact with him. He then said "you're being childish, this is an insult, you'll regret this"... That made me feel like I was in the wrong so recently, I felt alone so I readded him and he said: "We've always been friends all along", so I asked what exactly he appreciated about a friendship with me and he didn't reply. He also has like 800 facebook friends, updates his status twice a day and overshares every aspect of his life (even a photo of the hospital room when his grandmother died). I only have about 200 facebook friends and I feel used by him. I think he might be a narcissist.
I don't like how he makes me look to others. It just confuses me why he would keep saying we are friends and try to keep me as a friend and make me feel guilty for not buying into it.

disconnect from him 28
try to stay friends 3
I don't know 2
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Comments ( 8 )
  • Caps90
    10 years ago

    Cut ties he is manipulating you... for no reason apparently.

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  • dom180
    10 years ago

    You have no obligation to stay friends with someone. It doesn't sound to me like you regret deleting him as a friend now; it sounds more like you regret adding him again.

    If I was you, I'd probably break ties with him. There's nothing wrong with breaking ties with someone who you don't want as a friend anymore.

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  • imadragon
    10 years ago

    Tell him how you feel and then stop talking to him.

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  • ScooterNyne
    10 years ago

    Sounds to me like after you guys broke up he fell into a state of mind that you guys were just friends anyway and it was better that way. That was his way of dealing with the situation. That in itself doesn't make him a bad person. It's also probably pretty hard for him to always be there as a friend since you guys broke up. Most people stop talking to each other after they break up so you can't exactly expect him to be your best friend in your time of need. I think you should have made it clear what direction your relationship was going after the break up 5 years ago.

    I might have to say that, yeah, you are being kind of childish. It's not like either of you are doing anything wrong but it doesn't matter how active he is on facebook and that he has a picture of you and him as just friends. It just sounds like when you guys broke up it wasn't clear how close you would be in the future. If you don't want to be just friends with him then just stop talking to him. If you do still want to be friends with him then he's already there kind of. Just let him know you want to be friends with him despite the past and I'm sure he will start being a better friend in return.

    Basically he hasn't done anything that constitutes a make or break decision. It's really up to you to decide what you want out of your friendship with him.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I never stated I don't want to be just friends with him. And I'm not asking that he always be there at all, it's just that he is never there unless he has some sort of gain from it.
      Yes, well I thought it was clear that from then on we'd just be friends (since he called me that), but then he tried to come on to me and bragged to his friends even though I rejected him so I felt disrespected and cut him off. Then later he wanted to be my friend again, I said no and that's when he made me feel guilty ("you're being childish, etc")
      I don't see where you get that he's "already there" :s And the picture is an old couple picture

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      • RomeoDeMontague
        10 years ago

        First off did you break up with him or he break up with you? Since that makes a difference in how these things work out. If you broke up with him he probobly resents you and might be at this time just trying to ignore you as much as possible. If he broke up with you he and is acting like your something to brag about that is probobly the only reason he did it. Also I had no idea people could have this many friends. I only have about 20-40 friends for those kind of things.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          Well we broke up with each other due to both moving to different countries. We're still from the same city and keep returning to our home town though. We broke up for logical reasons and then with time found new friends.

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      • ScooterNyne
        10 years ago

        why would you feel disrespected? He's bragging about you even after you guys broke up. Would you rather him talk shit about you?

        It sounds to me like you want all the control in this relationship honestly. You "rejected him", cut ties, and now you want to add him back. You didn't do what he wanted and you're accusing him of being narcissistic and looking at things on his facebook to justify all your decisions. So in my eyes, again, yes that's childish.

        Honestly I think he should cut ties with you, not the other way around.

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