Am i ungrateful or rude to my needy girlfriend?

11 Comments

My girlfriend has recently been really needy lately and idk what I should say. She has no one she can trust but me and before we met she was super depressed. We are kinda an open to anything policy and we discussed this even in the begining of our relationship. She has been submissive and begging for about a week even though she was dominant before. Idk what to say or how to tell her I'm not in the mood because of this. I don't want to hurt her feelings or seem like a douche and make her depressed again. If I don't text her every second I'm able she thinks I'm dead and then as soon as I text she acts like the world was gone without me. It's even worst when she is there with me. Idk what to do. Advice?

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Comments ( 11 )
  • EchoMaster
    6 years ago

    Sounds like she still suffers from depression. Not normal to depend on another person minute by minute non stop.

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  • EnglishLad
    6 years ago

    I think her reaction is pretty legit after going through a lot in the past. Now you've come along and taken her away from where she was and into a much safer environment, she feels scared without your protection.

    All you can do is reassure her that everything will be fine. Keep on trucking. You'll work through it.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      Thanks. I try. It's just really hard because it makes me uncomfortable. I don't deserve her really and I warned her in the beginning before I knew about her personal life that I wasn't very reliable. I have been through very similar things as her and I feel like she loves me more than I do her ya know. She is very much a better person than me and I just don't know if I could save her and myself. Sometimes I just think of ghosting her but then I think of the risks to her if I left or even broke uo with her. She might end it and I care about her.

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      • AntiArchon
        6 years ago

        Just be straight but in a compassionate way. Tell her you can still be friends and you're still gonna be there for her but your brain isn't built for this together 24/7 lovey dovey crap:p If she's depressed and suicidal then she definitely needs professional help.. Staying just to appease her is only a temporary solution and won't really make her better plus torture for you.

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      • onaplane
        6 years ago

        If you "ghost" her, it'll make it worse, trust me. Just be there for her and reassure her it'll be fine

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      • Ellenna
        6 years ago

        No-one can save anyone else. She's looking to you to do that and it's unrealistic. She needs therapy as well as you if you can cope with continuing to support her.

        To just break up with her would be cruel.

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  • KiwiWisdom
    6 years ago

    Be real with her. Tell her you're uncomfortable, reassure but also be firm. Explain what you enjoy and talk about how you see things now. She might just miss you. She might just need a hobby while you're busy. It's something you can find out together and that's kind of romantic. If it's too much though, think about what's good for you. Try to work it out and make the calls.

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  • onaplane
    6 years ago

    She probably has anxiety and is attached to you. I don't see what's so bad about her being submissive? Do you mean sexually or?
    But anyways, what's bad about her acting like the world was gone without you? She sounds familiar to me, and I hate having those feelings, and she probably hates feeling like that too...

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  • Algum
    6 years ago

    Sounds like she really loves you, and she has been happier and in a better place when with you. I can understand, I had a couple girlfriends in the past, same situation

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  • Bluevixen
    5 years ago

    She definitely needs a more mature, caring man in her life. Someone who will want to cherish her.

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  • MysticLane
    6 years ago

    you should leave her. I had a boyfriend that had serious depression and put it all on me and I would try to help him but told him to see a therapist so many times and he refused. I was going through my own problems too but everytime i would try to talk about it he would say he feels worse. It's hard to let someone go that depends on you so much but at the same time you can't fix people and a lot of times someone who's depressed will use their girlfriend/boyfriend as a crutch. You clearly aren't into her as much as she's into you so you just gotta have a talk and tell her you just wanna be friends

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