Am i trying to rationalize?

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When I was 16 years old, my first boyfriend raped me. It was a terrifying day, and I chose to tell no one about it. I didn't seek help until about a year ago. I am now 22 years old. Recently, however, my boyfriend and I have been trying to spice things up, and I've discovered I really enjoy being dominated... Being held down, tied down, having my mouth covered, having his hand around my neck... We have a safe word but I'm never ever going to use it, I really enjoy it... I'm still not over what happened when I was 16, but I love the roleplay rape I do with my boyfriend. Is that normal???

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Based on 4 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 1 )
  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago

    Have you talked to a therapist yet?

    You may want to talk to one about what happened to you. If you're not over it you may be reacting to it.

    However that doesn't mean you have to give up on Dom/Sub bedroom games. In a way that might actually be the best therapy you can find.

    You are recreating the original scene... but you ultimately have control. You may not ever give him your "signale" but you know that you CAN. You really ARE taking control in the bedroom, because he can only "dominate" you when he has your permission.

    So in a roundabout way you ARE the one in charge. (it's called "topping from below")

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