Am i too broken for a relationship.. ever?

15 Comments

I'm a single mum and my girls are 16 months old. Before becoming a mum I had major health scares that had me in hospital on and off for nearly 2yrs and Dr's telling me that I could not have children.

When I meet a guy, sometimes I click really well but then I try convince myself that I don't like the guy so I don't develope any feelings.

I don't want to be alone forever but I think it's unfair to my girls if I have a relationship. I'm so not into trusting a guy because I have been hurt in the past as well as being abused when I was little for 5 years.

How do I overcome this so one day I can try be with a loving guy or am I simply just too broken?

Try To Trust Them As A Friend First 21
You Will Be Alone Forever 5
Most Relationships Fail Anyway, Least You Won't Get Hurt If You Don't 4
Kill The Person Who Abused You 3
Give Yourself Time To Heal 14
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Comments ( 15 )
  • gummy_jr
    9 years ago

    I don't like any of these options. Not even the positive ones. It's not good to sit around and sulk for the rest of your life :( a good guy is out there, it just takes time for them to make their way around. When he does I'm sure he will treat you like a queen :) no one deserves to go through abuse.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Thank you xx

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      • gummy_jr
        9 years ago

        You're welcome :)

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  • howlsilver
    9 years ago

    Before you love someone, love yourself first. Give yourself a chance to fall inlove again and give others a chance to love you. You just have to trust a man again. Remember you will never know if the man is true to you if you dont get close to him. You must be stronger now cause you have experienced unfortunate relationship before. You cant be fooled easily now. Dont wait time to heal. You are healed already and only you can tell if youre ready or not.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Idk I just get too scared something will happen to my girls. I was hurt til I was 8 and no one protected me so I would hate myself if that happened to my girls.

      I thought it didn't affect me until my girls were born

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  • green_boogers
    9 years ago

    Just be happy if you can be friends with a few men. I am very sorry.

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  • derpyderp
    9 years ago

    I don't think you're too broken.
    I hope you're not because I do some of these same things...
    The few relationships I've had, I tend to almost subconciously stop girls from getting too close.
    I'm crazy about them but even then I start to avoid them or shut down a bit, without even realizing what I'm doing until it's too late & they're already over it.
    I don't know if it's fear of getting hurt or of hiring them.

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    • stuwninnis
      9 years ago

      Unmasking myself lol
      Like I said I am really surprised but really do appreciate your honesty!!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I think it's fear just sucks that it hinders us from even trying to find any happiness with someone. We need to overcome this some how =(

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  • Shackleford96
    9 years ago

    It is like you said, try to trust and get to know them as a friend first. Then after you get to know them a bit, maybe things can progress beyond there. You have to take small steps though. He'll have to be good with children too :)

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  • thevioletdahlia
    9 years ago

    I am going through a similar thing, and honestly, what I have found is that more people go through this than either of us probably thought. Give yourself some time to heal and you'll find that the moment you start feeling better and getting your life going in the direction you want for your girls and yourself that the right people will come into your life - including that loving guy you're looking for. Work hard, maybe talk to a counselor, and find professional success. Start with these things, and the rest comes naturally. hold on honey <3

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I've started counseling recently. It's raw remembering stuff but I think it is helping me and how I deal with things. Good luck to you as well hun, stay strong xx ♡

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    The smartest thing to do is never be desperate for a relationship and only get into one if you know somebody for a while and build a trusting friendship first.

    I always think it's dumb when people go looking for those things or hook up with somebody they don't know well.

    Good things only come when you aren't looking.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Those kinda people annoy me too. Don't worry I'm not desperate just wondering if I will ever be ready for a relationship now

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  • Tarkio
    9 years ago

    I have a similar story, but I am older. I put all of my energy into my daughter. Once she was @16, I started to think about finding a man. I know it is extremely difficult financially, physically and emotionally, but having losers come in and out of your life when you have growing children hurts the children.

    Once your kids grow up, you can start thinking about having fun with a man. The trade off is fine. I know, no sex for awhile, but you have your kids and they make up for it. And when you are able to have fun with someone, it is very satisfying. The warmest of wishes. :)

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