Am i overreacting?

I've been with my girlfriend for nearly six years. She cheated on me during the first six months of our relationship with my best friend. We worked on our relationship, therapy etc. We always seem to have the same fights over and over again. I am uncomfrtable with her relationships w other females that i dont know or dont trust. For example, i met a co-worker that was very rude to me. I didnt really caare for her attitude and to top things off, she is totally my gf's type. Plus, my gf never wanted me to go to any work functions because she thought that I might find this girls behavior offensive. how am I supposed to feel about that? That is just one example of many. There was another situation w another co-worker in which my gf and this co-worker were having lunch together when we specifically agreed that she wouldnt hang out w/ people I wasnt comfortable with. Of course, i make smart**** comments because these situations hurt my feelings. There are countless work events that my gf invites me to like this: "Im going with the girls from work to a baseball game, come if you want. but then, she never even told me when the game was happening.Bottom line is that I feel like she is embarrassed by me or that there is something to hide, like maybe how she acts when i'm not around. We were at a concert last week and she was looking at other girls, which is normal. then her sisters best friend kept giving her overly friendly kisses on the mouth. She claims that she is just like her sister. Am I as crazy insecure as she tells me, or am I the only person that thinks this type of behaviour is inappropriate? She is always welcome to hang out with our friends and family w/o me, yet she only wants to be alone w work functions because she says she doesnt want any comments from me. Have I mentioned that she is very friendly and a flirt. We get along great when these situations dont get in the way. our fights are always the same, she says that i need to trust her or she pulls away and doesnt want to hang out with me. I feel like im crazy and my self confidence is getting lower and lower. I am at the point that I dont want to be an idiot yet i want to know if im being overly jealous and suspicious. (I rarely call her at work because i feel like i cant or she thinks im checking up on her.) I know that if the situation were reversed, she would hate it. Fortunately for her, I have different ideas on respect in a relationship. Help!!!

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Based on 28 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Crazydiamond

    I stopped reading after 'She cheated on me during the first six months of our relationship with my best friend'. That should tell you all you need to know.

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  • Elliemental

    I take it your a women? This is a lesbian relationship right? If yes, she's right in a way, if you don't trust her now over 5yrs after she cheated I don't think you'll ever trust her! Just be straight with her "i can't deal with the way you act but i love you and don't know how to handle this". If you're a guy then what she's doing is atleast Insensative and at most she's decided to bewitch women n is showing you I stead of telling you.

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  • sunny_wantsome

    ill say it again "once a slut always a slut"

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  • kekkiumai

    She must be some good booty that you stayed with her loll.

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  • Mel

    It sounds like both of you have issues. Like your statement that you two agreed she cant go to lunch with people YOURE uncomfortable with. Thats controlling & wrong. Obviously she has cheated on you, but if you dont trust her dont be with her. All your doing is trying to control her, & I know you have a good reason to feel that. BUT if you cant get over it, you never should have stayed together. Get over it, or get out.

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  • UnnamedPoster

    I agree with Liz. The trust was gone a long time ago and she can't expect you to just trust her all of a sudden. She needs to earn that trust back, and from what you are saying it sounds like she isn't really interested in trying anymore.

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  • Lizbit

    Ollieo maybe the author is a lesbian... Moving on, if she cheated on you once and doesn't want you going with her to work people functions, chances are she is cheating on you. Or doing things you may consider to be border line in that department. If after so many years together you still don't trust her it's time to move on. Cause in all honesty you probably haven't trusted her since the first betrayl and never will.

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  • Well you are saying she is openly flirting as a lesbian in front of you and that she is quite embarrassed by your company & the way you behave.

    If she is lesbian why are you with her? And if she is not, what are you reading into all this? Either way, its sounds like you are really distorting things, and are jealous, disrespectful and controlling.

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  • EhhMoo

    I'm no expert on relationships, but its usually never "just one one problem area". You said that everything else with her is cool, right?

    Maybe superficially it might be. I'm not saying anything specifically, but these types of nagging problems tend to bleed into the other times of the relationship, inevitably affecting the whole thing.

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